Jakob's Wife (2021) Poster

(2021)

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4/10
A mess. No central theme, it's just all over the place
jbar1924 April 2021
A vampire movie? A commentary on religion? A feminist manifesto? A horror comedy?

SNL used to have a skit where a husband and wife argued over a canned product. The wife said, "it's a floor wax!" and the husband said, "No, it's a dessert topping!" And a salesman comes in and says "Hey folks, it is both! It's a floor wax and a dessert topping!"

Which brings us to Jakob's Wife.

Either the movie had too many writers, each with a different idea, or the main writer got stoned and lost his train of thought 2 or 3 times during the course of writing this movie.

In chronological order; it is serious, it is scary, it's funny, it is feminist, it's boring, it is stupid and bam, it's over.

Ugh.

A couple of fun, bloody effects, an interesting vampire who looks like Caillou with bad teeth and a couple of cops who get a few good lines. Other than that, nothing to see here.
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6/10
Barbara Crampton chews it up.
Otkon16 April 2021
This is a fun little film with some of both Crampton's and Fessenden's finest acting. It mixes a few genres into the horror. And the thing seems like a slice-of-life about a married couple that has to deal with a supernatural outbreak on top of their other issues. It goes in a few weird directions. I liked it.
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7/10
Scream Queen Babs Crampton strikes again!
necromancer-mcgill17 April 2021
This is a genuinely enjoyable wee blood soaked vampire flick. Crampton is just great. It's not for everyone obviously but if you're a comic horror fan then it's right up your street. I've been impressed with Shudder's output recently. Nice and dark. Babs gets the chebs out too!
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6/10
A film that doesn't know what it wants to be
Fortressofdoors23 April 2021
This film starts as a serious movie, then takes a turn to semi comedy that never really works. It's an attempt at a Fright Night type of movie, but the trudges along , but not really at a slow pace, but one that keeps your curiosity on the hook just long enough. Your lead (master) vampire should be menacing and frightful, this one however, was not, so the overall punch is lost. It was more like a life coach in a bald cap. The editing is odd at times which doesn't help matters. It's one of those films that leaves you squinting at the screen in confusion at times, thinking, huh? Barbara Crampton carried the film and it was great seeing her again.
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8/10
A fun little mix of horror, comedy, and romance
brettkins18 May 2021
Barbara Crampton chews every bit of scenery in this film and takes us on a journey from repressed housewife to liberated vampire vixen. I thoroughly enjoyed the indie vibe, old school special effects, stellar cast, and nods to Salem's Lot. It felt like a labor of love and Barbara Crampton really gave it her all in every frame she was in. Jakob's Wife has a lot of heart and is a great little film that will provide you with laughs, gore, and plenty of Barbara slaying the screen.
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6/10
Entertaining
hampersnow-2890517 April 2021
Barbara Crampton plays a minister's wife who finds a new calling in life......well sort of. A Charming, kind of fun film because Barbara and Larry Fessenden play so well together and both are excellent in their roles. The movie starts off on some high notes , gets a bit slow and random in the middle , then picks up in the finale, but overall is better than most of the usual low budget horror fare tossed out these days. It's nicely shot, and while it doesn't outright play it for laughs, this isn't a serious horror film. What puts it a cut above is the depth given to the 2 leads and you actually like and feel for them. Worth watching.
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7/10
well if this ...
ops-5253517 April 2021
Isnt a surprise, then i dont know what more you want out of a religious horror movie than this. Its really no points of rest, it shifts fast, never trust any strangers, and a rat in a cage= suicide =go-go, add some satanistic inclusions and some weed smoking youngsters, and a ministers wife that looses grip of her life, as people start to disappear, blod is drunken and a n evil entity makes this a well made sacramental horror movie at all parts.

Actors are fairly unknown to me, but they deliver scriptwise, the filmographic presentation is good, it tells much of the story itself, and some excellent musical score and sound effects. So when the beloved spouce goes spicy you better take cover and let it flame out by itself.

The grumpy old man liked this film, so a recommend.
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5/10
Dark Romance
ropelawshiel16 April 2021
A fun dark romance, one of the better Shudder films, Love lust, gore small budget done well.
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6/10
low budget indie horror tries extra hard
A_Different_Drummer19 April 2021
And succeeds in almost combining an otherwise dull vampire tale with a story of feminine liberation from marital woes. Crampton, one of the last legitimate scream queens, goes for the the gold. The core problem remains that horror films are supposed to provide thrills in otherwise dull lives. Today reality provides all the horror anyone can stand.
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3/10
You'll check your watch every 5 minutes to find only 3 minutes have passed
jtindahouse21 April 2021
There's nothing more boring to me in the world than a vampire movie, and every year I seem to fall into the trap of watching one. Last year it was the terrible 'Doctor Sleep' and for 2021 is seems like it will be the terrible 'Jakob's Wife'. I hadn't watched a horror movie in a while and I saw a pretty high Rotten Tomatoes rating (85% at the time of writing this - how is that possible?) and was fooled into giving it a try. Bad decision. This film has very few redeeming factors.

I don't know what people could be seeing in this film. It isn't funny and it's often hard to tell if it's even trying to be or not. There are some very awkward and bizarre interactions but they certainly aren't humorous to the audience. It isn't clever. The dialogue is unbelievably flat and lacking in creativity. The acting is equally flat and adds nothing to the film.

This is one of those films where you are checking your watch every five minutes and are shocked to find only three minutes have passed. I can't recommend this one on any level.
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5/10
Midlife crisis dressed as a vampire movie
ravencorinncarluk20 April 2021
I enjoyed it, enjoyed some of the concepts, and the camerawork did have moments when it conveyed the building annoyance felt by Anne. Nobody is gorgeous or glamorous, and that helps give the film a more relatable feeling. A few scenes strike me as better fitting a horror-comedy, but it wasn't too distracting.

With a little polish, I think this could have been a pretty good - maybe even great - movie, but I still found it watchable as is.
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10/10
An Instant Cult Classic!
drahulrajjsd16 April 2021
A fun gory ride of a movie! An instant cult classic! Awesome performances from both Horror Icons Barbara Crampton and Larry Fessenden!
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5/10
A perfect movie for Barbara Crampton
killercharm23 May 2021
And she's perfect in it. This is a delightful treatment of how real people might actually react to vampires in their midst. For instance, do you automatically kill any vampire you find or do you maybe spare one if she's your beloved, obedient wife of 30 years. Dilemma dilemma. With a slow start when this flick finally gets really started it is no end of fun to watch...right down to the last split-second.
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2/10
Mediocrity with the obligatory "I f*king hate old white dudes" and other woke snark
raulespinoza-8648217 April 2021
Oh boy, another "indie" slice of rotten pie where they have to get their digs in on religion and white men, you know, cause everyone's doing it. Then some lame and predictable comedy happens. The end.
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4/10
From creepy drama, to gore galore, to comedy...
paulclaassen17 June 2021
'Jakob's Wife' can't really decide what it wants to be. It goes from a very subtle first act, to an extremely bloody and gory second act, to a comedy third act - almost to the point of becoming slapstick.

This is a very different vampire movie and will be for an acquired taste only. The film's highlight and draw card is undoubtedly screen legend Barbara Crampton, who was excellent as Anne Fedder. I'm not sure whether one could refer to her as the film's protagonist, but she is the lead, and magnificent! She also looks amazing. She plays a woman trapped in a marriage to a minister who repulses her. Once bitten by a vampire - which happened off-screen for some reason, by the way - she undergoes a transformation. This was very exciting, scary and funny. The first act was highly effective with a haunting score.

Unfortunately the film itself transformed, as it turns out. As mentioned, the second act became very bloody; and I mean bucket loads of blood squirting from victims. Unrealistic and overdone, to say the least. It was still entertaining in a way, but it then goes from this gory act to a humorist final act. The creature was scary in the beginning but in the third act he looked like a creature more suited for a comedy - as if a spoof from other vampire movie creations. The humor during the first act was really funny, but it became a bit overbearing during the final act. What a pity.

Still, this is not a bad movie and deserves a watch if you're into this genre - and a MUST if you're a Barbara Crampton fan.

Would I watch it again? I doubt it.
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7/10
Surprisingly good
rohanxyz21 May 2021
I liked this movie theme and portrayal of characters. It was a nice fun movie to watch. All actors performed well. After long time watched Barbara.
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7/10
"I f*king hate old white dudes."
repojack17 April 2021
I would too if that old white dude was a prude asshole minister (played by horror staple Larry Fessenden, going completely against type).

But Barbara Crampton is the stand-out star of this under-the-radar but fantastic new release about a brow-beaten preacher's wife who gets "bit" and comes into her own quickly.

Crampton burst onto the scene in the classic Re-animator (1985) by Stuart Gordon and was a staple in most of Gordon's work through the 80's/90's. Apparently, at some point, she took a break from acting until she got a call to appear in Adam Wingard's You're Next.

There is an awesome scene where she re-arranges the furniture with basically one hand (other hand holding a wine glass with "something" in it) to Concrete Blonde's "Bloodletting (The Vampire Song)". In fact, the entire score by Tara Busch is fabulous.

The movie doesn't take itself too seriously at all. It's for sure not going for realism which is oddly refreshing. The campiness/over-the-top moments just seem to fit.

I haven't seen all of Barbara Crampton's work but I'm going to put a stake in the ground (no pun intended) and say this is her best performance.
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1/10
A whole lotta BS
splendidsushi20 April 2021
If you're a horror movie lover, please and please, ignore all the high ratings. This right here is a total waste of time and data. I can't even believe I watch it till the end and I honestly doubt if those rating this movie high has seen it. So poorly made. Total rubbish!!!
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7/10
Amusing light horror drama
tvcarsd19 April 2021
I have to admit that with this great cast that I was hoping for a slightly more exciting story but it was still very entertaining mostly due to the strong performances from Larry and Barbara. It's probably 80:20 comedy horror which is a nice change from the regular 50:50 of most movies like this. There isn't much gore but there is no shortage of blood. You need to stick with this one as the characters do develop nicely and you really start to get behind them more as the movie progresses. Nice.
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1/10
Overrated, boring mess
mhorg201818 May 2021
I understand that Barbara Crampton has a solid fanbase. I've liked her since Reanimator. But just being a fan of an actor or actress doesn't mean everything they do is great. This movie is one example. Boring to the point where five minutes feels like five hours, there is no coherent storyline, the make up effects are horrible and the Vampire, much like the one in the original Salem's Lot, is just a rip off of Nosferatu - and a really bad one at that. It looks like whoever did the vampire failed the class at Savini's or Baker's school. Just really horrible make up. But worse of all is the non-story. If one wants to write an empowerment story, is using a Vampire the way to go? Can anyone make a movie or TV show today without any woke or pc crap? Just writing good characters isn't enough? Oh, I nearly forgot-the vampires voice. Squeaky. Really? I thought vampires were supposed to sound impressive. Not this loser. And the non-ending doesn't help either.
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7/10
A Very Pleasant Surprise
janeannafoote10 May 2021
Indie horror films can be hit or miss. The ones who look great usually have lousy scripts and the ones that have great scripts usually look like they were shot in someone's basement with a cast of non-actors. How refreshing it is to see an interesting story well told with great acting. Barbara Crampton and Larry Fessenden are terrific as the husband and wife battling a terrifying vampire who wants to take Crampton away. The comedy mostly lands and the creepy parts do inspire some goosebumps, but it's the performances and relationship drama you'll end up remembering the most and those are the scenes where Crampton and Fessenden are really allowed to let loose and have a good time.
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8/10
Funny and Creepy
annablair-1919110 May 2021
Horror legend Barbara Crampton gets her best role in years as Anne, the repressed wife of the town preacher, Jakob (Larry Fessenden) who longs for something more out of life. A chance encounter with a former flame (Robert Russler) leads to both of them being attacked by a mysterious creature and Anne suddenly develops odd cravings, mood swings, and begins putting more effort into her appearance. One thing's for sure - Anne and Jakob's marriage will never be the same again.

Jakob's Wife does a stellar job at creating a repressive small town mood. So muhc so that Anne's initial transformation from buttoned up church mouse into sexy siren is a welcome relief. It's only when Anne's transformation comes with certain side effects that the stakes escalate and we realize this transformation might come with a steep price.

Crampton and Fessenden have excellent chemistry together and they carry the entire film. Being able to see Crampton sink her teeth into a meaty role like this is a joy since she's been mostly relegated to quick cameos or supporting roles in films unworthy of her talents for the past decade.

The story takes enough twists and turns to keep even some of the most jaded horror fans on their toes and the performances elevate any joke or scare that doesn't completely stick to the landing, making for an incredibly entertaining viewing experience.
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7/10
no need to take it seriously, then you will enjoy this gory flick
trashgang8 May 2021
Did I like this one, yes I did. Totally blind I went into this one. Just for the name of Barbara Crampton (Re-animator) I picked this one up.

Need to take this seriousmy, you better don't do that. It's a funny situation with some gory moments and a sexy Barbara who isn't afraid to show some flesh being in her sixties.

The vampire reminded me a lot of a mixture between Salem's Lot and Nosferatu.

So if you're in the mood for a no-brainer then this is your stuff. Thinking to watch an Oscar nomination, forget it. I enjoyed it a lot...

Gore 3/5 Nudity 1/5 Effects 2,5/5 Story 2,5/5 Comedy 0/5.
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7/10
EXCELLENT LESSER KNOWN HORROR MOVIE...MUST SEE!!!
leidilat7 May 2021
I really enjoyed this horror film. Barbara Cramp did an amazing job with the lead role. This is a movie where you're anxiously waiting to see what will happen next. It's not just good because it's creepy, watching the main character go through these mysterious changes is engaging and one bloody good time!!!
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7/10
I admire little films like this.
grangeheights22 April 2021
You know it's low budget immediately. Then you forget because the money has gone in all the right places. No overstretching on the special effects and becoming cheesy. It's not flawless but fairly gripping right to the end. Worth a look.
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