Monk (TV Series)

Mr. Monk and the Bully (2009)

Traylor Howard: Natalie Teeger

Photos 

Quotes 

• Natalie Teeger : Hi. Excuse me.

  Adrian Monk : Hi. We're looking for this woman.

  [flashes a photo of Marilyn Brody] 

  Bartender : You a cop?

  Adrian Monk : No, no. Just an old friend.

  Bartender : Haven't seen her.

  Adrian Monk : OK.

  [reaches into his wallet and pulls out a $1 dollar bill] 

  Adrian Monk : Maybe General Washington can refresh your memory...

  [he waves his hand over the dollar bill] 

  Bartender : Is that a dollar?

  Adrian Monk : [winks his eye]  Okay I get it. Who knows? Maybe there are... two General Washingtons.

  [he puts a quarter down on the dollar bill, and waves his hand over it like he's performing a magic trick. The bartender walks away] 

  Adrian Monk : Where's he going?

  [Monk puts the money back in his wallet] 

  Adrian Monk : You got to admire the guy. He's incorruptible.

  Barfly : Hey. She's right over there.

  [Monk and Natalie turn around and see Marilyn with her lover in a back table] 

• Adrian Monk : [Monk lifts up an oven tray with his bare hand after having a flashback to middle school]  My hand hurts.

  Natalie Teeger : Mr. Monk, where is your oven mitt?

• Roderick Brody : I hear you went a little crazy since high school. Now I just need to know, is it funny crazy or sad crazy?

  Adrian Monk : Sad crazy.

  Natalie Teeger : [at the same time as Monk]  Funny crazy.

  Roderick Brody : [confused]  Which is it?

  Adrian Monk : Excuse me. There's something I want to say.

  [takes out a notecard] 

  Adrian Monk : "Roderick Brody. You stole something from me. You stole my childhood. The boy you tormented has grown into a broken man. I am now damaged goods. I will never recover from the wounds that you inflicted upon me. I will never forget you. And I will never forgive you."

  Roderick Brody : So it's sad crazy?

  Natalie Teeger : I think Mr. Monk is referring to what you did to him in the seventh grade. You tortured him.

• [Natalie and Monk arrive at the Brody house] 

  Natalie Teeger : Let's just hear what he has to say. If you're not comfortable, we'll leave. I promise.

  Adrian Monk : Really?

  Natalie Teeger : Yeah.

  Adrian Monk : I'm not comfortable.

  [Later, as they near the front door] 

  Adrian Monk : Not comfortable.

  Natalie Teeger : Mr. Monk, we haven't even said hello.

• [last lines] 

  Adrian Monk : Don't you hear that? The toilet tank refilling. Toilet tank of life.

  Natalie Teeger : Come on, Mr. Monk, I'll drive you home.

  Adrian Monk : It's what Plato called, "the great cosmic swirly." There's no escaping it.

  Natalie Teeger : Plato said that?

  Adrian Monk : I'm paraphrasing. I think I'm going to need that shower cap back.

  Natalie Teeger : OK.

• Adrian Monk : [after Natalie shows up with a new digital camera]  Is it a good one?

  Natalie Teeger : Yeah.

  Adrian Monk : Looks good.

  [He examines the woman on the box's image] 

  Adrian Monk : She looks happy with it.

  Natalie Teeger : Yes, she does and she's very hard to please.

  Adrian Monk : Where's the telescope thingy?

  Natalie Teeger : It has an automatic zoom, so it's built-in.

  Adrian Monk : Built in? Excellent!

  [Monk starts to use a scalpel to *really* slowly cut an incision into the box] 

  Natalie Teeger : Mr. Monk, it's not heart surgery.

  Adrian Monk : If we leave right away, we can be at her house by 8:00. We can follow her all day.

  Natalie Teeger : Yeah, look, Mr. Monk, I made a decision. If you want to keep following Mrs. Brody, I suppose that's your right, although it really isn't, but I can't help you anymore.

  Adrian Monk : Why not?

  Natalie Teeger : I-I'm just not comfortable! Her husband fired us.

  Adrian Monk : It's what they call 'pro bono'.

  Natalie Teeger : No, "pro bono" is for lawyers! This is stalking!

  Adrian Monk : No, this is comeuppance. Pro bono comeuppance.

  Natalie Teeger : No, no! That is just crazy talk!

  [She reaches forward and switches off the lamp on Monk's table. Monk switches it back on] 

  Adrian Monk : It's not crazy talk.

  Natalie Teeger : "Pro bono comeuppance"? That's the craziest talk there is! You heard what he said, he wants you to *quit*!

  Adrian Monk : I wanted him to quit! I *begged* him to quit forty years ago in stall #3.

  [He pops the box open] 

  Adrian Monk : Oh yeah.

  [as he says that, Natalie takes a call on her cell phone] 

  Natalie Teeger : Hello?

  [pause] 

  Natalie Teeger : Yes, he's right here.

  [the caller gives her an address] 

  Natalie Teeger : The Avalon? Sure, we know it. We were just there.

  [She is told that there's been a murder there] 

  Natalie Teeger : Okay, what's his name?

  [She learns that the victim is Douglas Fendle] 

  Natalie Teeger : Oh my god!

  [Monk looks up] 

  Adrian Monk : What happened?

• Lt. Randall Disher : [briefing Monk and Natalie on a murder victim at a crime scene]  His name is Douglas J. Fendle, or rather was Douglas J. Fendle, I guess it still is, but doesn't matter. Let's move on.

  [refers to his notebook] 

  Lt. Randall Disher : He was 37, unmarried, from Chicago. Mr. Fendle was an attorney, he worked at a small law firm, Shellman, Reznick & Link, mostly family law, wills, adoptions...

  [he looks up at Monk] 

  Lt. Randall Disher : Are you okay?

  Adrian Monk : Dynamite.

  Lt. Randall Disher : Yeah, so are you, uh, going to look around?

  Adrian Monk : Yeah, yeah, sure.

  [He looks around the scene as Disher continues reading from his notes] 

  Lt. Randall Disher : Listen, I talked to his boss. She said he was on vacation and didn't even know he was here.

  Adrian Monk : Hmmm, interesting.

  Lt. Randall Disher : According to the clerk, he checked in three days ago. He kept to himself. Housekeeping found the body this morning. Dr. T puts the time of death at 8:00 or 9:00 PM last night.

  [pauses as Monk takes a flower out of one of the room vases] 

  Lt. Randall Disher : He was stabbed three times.

  Adrian Monk : Ouch.

  [Natalie looks at him disapprovingly] 

  Natalie Teeger : Mr. Monk!

  Lt. Randall Disher : There was money still in his pocket, so it wasn't a robbery.

  Adrian Monk : No, it wasn't a robbery.

  Lt. Randall Disher : And, uh, there was no forced entry. He let the guy in. I think he knew him.

  Adrian Monk : [chuckling]  I think he did too. I think you're right.

  [Natalie pulls him aside] 

  Natalie Teeger : Excuse me! Let me talk to you for a minute, please.

  [She walks him over to another point in the room] 

  Natalie Teeger : Do you think Roderick Brody did this?

  [Monk gives her a look that means "maybe"] 

  Natalie Teeger : Well he said he didn't believe us.

  Adrian Monk : Apparently he reconsidered.

  Natalie Teeger : Well that's horrible. A man is dead.

  Adrian Monk : Yean, I know, and that's murder in the first degree, and you know what that means: prison swirlies.

• Natalie Teeger : [as Marilyn goes upstairs to fetch her husband]  She seems nice. How bad can her husband be?

  Adrian Monk : It doesn't always work that way. Eva Braun took in stray puppies, for God's sake.

• Adrian Monk : Well, you were right.

  [hands Roderick a file] 

  Adrian Monk : His name is Douglas Fendle.

  Natalie Teeger : Do you know him?

  Roderick Brody : Fendle? No.

  Adrian Monk : Are you sure? Young, strapping, good looking guy. Virile. You don't know him?

  Roderick Brody : Mmm-mmm.

  Natalie Teeger : She met him at a bar on Vinton Street, had a couple of drinks, and he left first.

  Adrian Monk : Yeah, the virile guy left first, and we followed him to the Avalon Hotel on Jackson Place.

  Natalie Teeger : Roderick, I'm really sorry.

  Adrian Monk : Yeah, we're really really sorry.

  Roderick Brody : Well, I don't see anything. You know, this is so dark.

  Adrian Monk : Yeah, well, that film expired about 35, 40 years ago. But that's her. If you want to cry, go ahead. We understand.

  Roderick Brody : I can't see anything. This doesn't prove anything.

  Adrian Monk : Yeah, but you know it's her, right? Because you saw her on the street, that's why you hired us.

  Roderick Brody : To tell you the truth, I'm not so sure about that anymore. The woman I saw. Maybe she wasn't Marilyn. You know? My eyes aren't so great, I could have been wrong.

  Adrian Monk : No, no, no. You weren't wrong. It was her.

  Roderick Brody : I'm not convinced. I need some real proof. You know, last night was our anniversary, and Marilyn surprised me. She bought us tickets. We're going on a cruise. It's like a second honeymoon thing. I think we're in a good place.

  Adrian Monk : No. No, no, no, no. You're in a bad place. You're in Heartbreak Hotel. Look at the next one.

  Roderick Brody : [looking at the reflection photo]  Is that a... spoon?

  Adrian Monk : Yeah, look closer. See the reflection. Yeah. See, that's them. That's your wife. That's your beloved wife. This is killing you. It's eating you up.

  Roderick Brody : I don't see it.

  Natalie Teeger : You know what, you're probably right. The bar was dark, she was across the room. We probably have the wrong girl. Mr. Monk, we made a mistake.

  Adrian Monk : Natalie, what... Zip it. Zip it.

  [Monk starts crying] 

  Adrian Monk : This is the worst day of your life.

  Roderick Brody : Are you crying? Adrian, I'm still going to pay you! If that's what you're worried about.

• Natalie Teeger : [as Monk pulls out his old camera]  Mr. Monk, what is that? Is that your camera? Where'd you get that?

  Adrian Monk : It's a birthday gift.

  Natalie Teeger : From who? Thomas Edison?

  Adrian Monk : It's from my Nana.

  Natalie Teeger : Is there actual film in it?

  Adrian Monk : Of course there's film in it.

  [looks around his surroundings] 

  Adrian Monk : Okay, I have three pictures left. There's not enough light. So...

  [He takes out a flash cube] 

  Natalie Teeger : Is that a flash cube?

  Adrian Monk : [popping the cube on]  Bingo. Hold this.

  [He then stands a spoon on its handle. He polishes it while Natalie keeps the spoon steady] 

  Natalie Teeger : What are you doing?

  Adrian Monk : It's an old private eye trick. We use it as a mirror.

  [Natalie holds the spoon upright as Monk positions himself] 

  Natalie Teeger : [whispering]  Hurry up! Take the picture!

  [as the flash fires, Monk and Natalie wince their eyes to try to avoid being temporarily blinded] 

  Barfly : You like that spoon, huh?

  [Natalie suddenly gets an idea] 

  Natalie Teeger : Sir, would you mind taking our picture, please?

  Barfly : Madam, I would be honored.

  Natalie Teeger : [hands him the camera]  Here you are. It's all ready to go!

  Barfly : Hey, I've got the same model myself. A gift from my Nana.

  Natalie Teeger : And if you could just stand right there.

  [does some positioning] 

  Natalie Teeger : Can you see us?

  Barfly : I got ya.

  Natalie Teeger : And on the count of three. One, two, and THREE!

  [the camera flash goes off. She and Monk duck to either side during the flash and come back up] 

• Adrian Monk : [to Natalie]  You were right about karma. It is *fantastic*.

  Natalie Teeger : No, Mr. Monk-

  [Captain Stottlemeyer enters the room] 

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Monk, Natalie. Thank you so much for coming. I was just doing a bit of dumpster diving down there. Can't find the murder weapon. There is a steak knife missing from that service tray. I guess he took it with him. So, what do you think?

  [Monk looks like he wants to withhold something] 

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : You okay?

  [Monk blushes] 

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Are you happy?

  Adrian Monk : I love my work. Is that a crime?

  [Randy whispers to Stottlemeyer] 

  Lt. Randall Disher : I think they knew the guy.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : What? You know this guy?

  [gestures towards the bedroom and Fendle's dead body] 

  Adrian Monk : No, not technically...

  Natalie Teeger : Never met him face to face.

  Adrian Monk : ...We've sort of been following him.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : You were following him? I wonder why.

  Adrian Monk : Well he was seeing a woman, a married woman, and we were following her.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : You were following the woman? I wonder why.

  Natalie Teeger : Her husband hired us.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Until you hear different, I wonder why. Wh-what are you doing? You, you doing divorce work now?

  Natalie Teeger : He was just doing a favor. He was an old friend of Mr. Monk's.

  Adrian Monk : Wouldn't exactly say friend. More of an acquaintance, actually. He beat me up every day for three years.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : And that would explain the stupid grin you have on your face. You think you're getting even.

  Adrian Monk : I know I'm getting even.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : So, your pal - you told your pal about Fendle. And you told him that Fendle was going to be here?

  [Monk's lips seem to read "yes"] 

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Well, I think your friend just made the top of my "To Do" List. What's his name?

  Natalie Teeger : Actually we can't tell you that. It's privilaged information. We could contact a third party or a lawyer...

  [Monk cuts her off] 

  Adrian Monk : Roderick Brody. 23 Orchard Circle.

  [Disher starts to write down the name and address] 

  Adrian Monk : No that looks like an "A". B-R-O-D-Y, Roderick Brody.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Well let's go talk to him.

  [They file out, and Monk whispers to Natalie] 

  Adrian Monk : Prison swirlies.