Trained since childhood to be a lethal killer, Raizo has since turned his back on the Ozunu clan that raised him and now seeks revenge for their heartless murders. Teaming up with Europol investigator Mika, Raizo steadily butchers his enemies while inching ever closer to the long-awaited bloody reunion with his former master.Written by
The Massie Twins
Excuse me, I think you dropped some blood over there...
I like dumb action movies. I especially like dumb, over the top, gory, violent martial arts movies. Gimme some "Ong Bak" or even some "Bloodsport" and I'll be satisfied.
This is not a martial arts movie. This is not even an entertaining action movie in the slightest.
The story amounts to "REVENGE!" (like all good action movie plots, huh?), and of course the acting and dialogue is never up to par. But you don't come into a movie called "Ninja Assassin" looking for Mamet-like dialogue, do you? The prerequisite action is here...kinda. If by "action" you mean "we're going to CGI the crap out of these fight scenes, and make everything all blurry and dark so you don't see how bad they actually are". That's what you meant, right? Rain, I feel, is a pretty good looking chap, who's about as charismatic in the role as an Asian pop star pretending to be a martial arts master can be. And when he's laying waste to dozens upon dozens of pajama clad ninjas in some fairly slick & well-choreographed fight scenes (that comes maybe 50 minutes into the movie) you almost find yourself enjoying the film. But then we see a ridiculous amount of blood being shed, heads being cut off and severed arms flying at the screen. That's the exact moment where you'll find yourself completely taken out of the action. You'll then realize how stupid all of this is, and how there's absolutely nothing entertaining about CGI fight scenes in a live-action martial arts movie. It's a cop-out; you start to wonder whether "Ninja Assassin" is an actual movie or just the trailer for the video game tie-in.
At this point, your mind begins to wander. You find yourself asking questions, such as "Why is this movie so fake? What's the point of having cool fight scenes if you just crap it up with ridiculously fake CGI blood and gore? Why does "Ricky-Oh" seem like a far more realistic and realized martial arts film when compared to this mess? Why did I spend my money to watch this film?".
Luckily for you, you have the ability to spare yourself from asking that last question.
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