Skipper: Eyes on the prize, Kowalski. Crack the new habitat security code, and we'll be swimming in all the fish we can stomach.
Rico: Fiiish! Ha-ha-ha!
Kowalski: I'm trying, but this is the most advanced encryption I've ever seen. It's got sudoku with fractions!
Skipper: Have you tried the master code?
Kowalski: One, two, three, four, five. Darn! Nothing!
Skipper: Now try it backwards.
Kowalski: Five, four, three, two, one. Aah!
Skipper: Now start at three...
[Spits out a chainsaw and cuts through the computer]
Kowalski: Wow. We're in!
Skipper: Way to hack that mainframe, Rico!
Kowalski: Skipper, our intel shows that there's one sure way to a female's heart. You start with a four-inch incision...
Private: Skipper, there's a scary man!
Skipper: Well, gentlemen, it looks like they finally found me. Those Danes really know how to hold a grudge.
Skipper: Private, options.
Kowalski: Hello? I'm the options guy!
Skipper: But not when it comes to matters of the heart. That's where young Private here shines.
Kowalski: True, I have trouble understanding emotions, and feelings, and... women.
Skipper: Yeah. Duh. Private, you're on!
Private: Well, let's see...
Marlene: Come on, Private. You know what to do. Moonlight, guitar, oysters!
Private: Sorry, Marlene, but I was thinking that Phil could show off his machismo.
Skipper: Machismo! Español! I like it!
Skipper: How many enemy agents are we talking here? Because if it's more than a baker's dozen, we may need the jumbo brass knuckles... and knuckles.
Skipper: Reach for the skies, chimps!
Mason: Egad, penguin desperados, and they've got sticks!
Kowalski: Aargh! That's right, matey, and ooh, argh! Shiver me timbers, and orgh, eergh, argh!
Private: Kowalski, we're supposed to be desperados, not pirates.
[Rico sighs and leaps forward to attack]
Kowalski: The point is, we want all your bananas!
Private: And there's no one here tough enough to stop us!
Skipper: [Pointing at Mason] Certainly not this milksop.
Lulu: Hold on now. Mason may not be tough, but me... I'm from Hoboken!
[Beats up penguins]
Kowalski: Once you escape to the sewer, find an aligator named Roger and give him this secret code phrase: "Help me, oh, help me. Please, please help me. For the sweet love of mother mercy, please help me escape the animal control agent that's chasing me." He'll know what it means.
Skipper: I know it's risky, but so is love. Look at what happened to Manfredi and Johnson when they fell hard for those Chinstrap sisters. They lost their hearts, a lung, and fifteen feet of intestine.
King Julien: To impress this girly monkey, you must sweep her off her feet. That is how I got my many girlfriends.
Maurice: What girlfriends?
King Julien: You don't know them, they're all in Canada, but trust me when I tell you that they are made up... I mean with lipstick and powders and such, but you know, tastefully. The secret is the two words I am about to tell you now. Get ready. Wait! Those weren't the two words. And those weren't either. Or those...
Mason: Just tell us the two words!
King Julien: Okay... Roller disco!
Skipper: Moon cat!
Max: It's Max, and I'm not really from the moon.
Skipper: Yeah, but the name just works.
King Julien: Now release the dogs!
[Sound of dogs barking]
Lulu: Get them off me!
Maurice: Don't you mean doves?
King Julien: Oh, that would have been better. Good to know.
Officer X: Penguins. Nature's rule breakers. Birds are supposed to fly, but no, you gotta swim instead. Think you're above the laws of nature, punks? Do ya?
Kowalski: [to Skipper] Rancho Cuckoo-monga.
Mason: Egad, Phil! Don't be rash!
Private: What is it?
Mason: Phil is going to... speak to her.
Skipper: Biscuits and gravy! We didn't run a scenario for that!
Max: Hey, Pokie! You chokied! You really failed your duty! You're never gonna touch my little kitty kabootie!
Alice: X, eh? Is that the name your mommy gave you?
Officer X: Mother never told me my real name. Said it was classified. Now hand over that stray cat, or face the full powers of the Metropolitan Sub-bureau of Animal Control and Pretzel Cart Regulation!
Skipper: Kowalski, options.
Kowalski: A strategic retreat, Skipper?
Kowalski: It's like running away but manlier.
Max: It's Animal Control! They're after me! Do you have any idea what those maniacs do to stray cats? Do you?
Max: Me neither.
Skipper: Well, you're not finding out tonight.
Officer X: Pure kitty. No buts about it.
Officer X: I let the trail fall behind. They must have shaken my tail, sneaked out the backside and taken a rear exit.
[Private snickers some more]
Officer X: This ends here.
[Private laughs so hard he falls backwards]
Skipper: What's wrong with Private? I haven't seen him like this since our mission to Butztown, Pa.
Max: You gotta get me out of here. This kitten's nuts!
Kowalski: Apparently, the Rhodesian slasher has a very intense, very elaborate mating ritual. But the good news is, most fatalities don't take place until the fifth week.
Max: I can't take five weeks of this! What are we gonna do?
Max: I can't thank you enough, you guys.
Skipper: Consider it a debt repaid, old friend.
Max: But isn't the outside wall still surrounded by Sergeant Psycho's booby traps?
Skipper: Not to worry. We've got a man on it.
Mort: [Bouncing from trap to trap] I'm expendable! Yay!
Skipper: Marlene, don't bring all your sappy emotions into this. This is love!
Mason: I don't know, Marlene, but I don't think that's quite the way to capture a chimp's heart.
[Suddenly the penguins pop out of a grate]
Skipper: You heard the chimp, men! We need a way to capture the lady chimp's heart. Kowalski, you...
Marlene: Hello? Mason came to me for advice, therefore it's my mission, not yours.
Kowalski: Ah, but use of the word "capture" automatically makes this a penguin operation.
Private: Sorry, Marlene. Those are the rules.