Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [after forcing House to hire another doctor] This was your plan all along!
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Well, at least the games are over.
Dr. Gregory House: How long have you known me?
Dr. James Wilson: Dying's easy. Living's hard!
Dr. Gregory House: That can't possibly be as poignant as it sounded.
Dr. Gregory House: Clinic's been quarantined. Patient came in with Avian Flu-like symptoms and 50 extra dollars in spending money.
Dr. Gregory House: [to patient who is a rocker] Remind me of your influences here. 'Cause I'm gonna say Thelonius Monk and the sound a trash compactor makes when you crawl inside it.
Dr. James Wilson: What sort of a lawyer tells his client he's got a case because he's going to live?
Dr. Gregory House: I've heard that not all lawyers are as ethical as the ones we see on TV.
Dr. James Wilson: I don't think this guy even has a law degree.
Dr. Gregory House: Well, the guys on TV don't either.
Dr. James Wilson: I think he has a medical degree.
Dr. Gregory House: There's something freeing about being a loser, isn't there?
Dr. Gregory House: Minus five for ingratitude. No, "Thank you, Doctor House." No, "Here's a bottle of codeine for your troubles, Doctor House."
[House plays the patient's music, and the patient goes into convulsions]
Dr. Gregory House: Is he dancing or seizing?
Dr. Gregory House: [to Amber] If you were always right, then you wouldn't have just been wrong. Or let the patient mainline nicotine. Or ravaged my anatomical model which Grandma House bought me when I aced my MCATs.
Kutner: A pharmeceutical rep left that here on Tuesday.
Dr. Gregory House: Grandma does some part-time work.
Kutner: The rep was a 30-something babe.
Dr. Gregory House: Thank you. I got her hips.
Thirteen: You realize we still have a patient.
Dr. Chris Taub: Don't care about the patient.
Thirteen: Do you care about this job more than you care about his life?
Dr. Chris Taub: I care about my wallpaper more than I care about his life.
Dr. Gregory House: Pretty sure there is no irony-body connection. But it'd be ironic if there was.
Dr. Gregory House: You were doing better before you had a good idea.
Thirteen: Why'd you go right for the drug theories?
Dr. Amber Volakis: If he had a history of shoving cancer into his veins, I'd have guessed cancer.
Thirteen: Okay. You're an idiot. Either that, or you've decided you can trust a smoking addict alone in a bathroom with an oxygen tank.
[an explosion can be heard inside immediately after]