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Shortly after filming the movie's notorious zombie sensei ruler juggle decapitation scene, the then' top secret executive producer Hideaki Anno was found dead and hanging from a nearby storage room ceiling fan. To cover up the highly acclaimed director's shameful end Studio Khara was formed and work began on Evangelion 1.0. Before the films debut Khara gave word to the press stating, "See, see, everything's fine. No need to worry. Anno is indeed well and working on everyone's favorite giant robot action series. Everything is going to be ok. Don't worry. Its gonna be daijobu desu yoooooo~ ).//3//.( See more »
I'm kind of ashamed to be writing this because it means I took the time to watch it. And it gets worse when you realize I'm taking more time to comment on it. Oh well, can't say you weren't warned. If the other reviews didn't slap some sense into you and cause you watch something useful like CITIZEN KANE or porn, then I've no sympathy for you. Normally, I would express my admiration of the nudity, attractive girls, gore, overall trashiness, nudity, callous and gleeful disdain of reality and nudity that a movie with a title of ATTACK GIRLS' SWIM TEAM might engender. Except... this movie may possess such attributes, but it's not done very well. An equivalent effect might be that of watching your parents dry-humping while talking dirty to each other (or so I'd assume- I've no experience to draw from, readers feel free to correct me at your leisure). You can't really discuss plot or characterization, except to say that the aforementioned undead or zombies don't appear until far too late and when they do, there's only about four or five. And they're in an all too brief scene of bloodletting... okay I'm bored with the zombies... but there is nudity! And a faux lesbian scene with incestuous undertones which would be worth a quick fast-forward to... but really, once that's done, it's a pretty dreary affair. The idea of 'so bad it's good' is always a dicey proposition to a viewer, but it never reaches the outlandish depths non-quality needs to be entertaining. It's just bad. It can't even muster the necessary 'movie magic' required to make you believe the whole production wasn't shot at an abandoned building with a couple of non-professionals on their lunch hour. And for all the hype of the title, the 'Swim Team' doesn't form until way too late and it then doesn't even do that much. Blaming this as an amateur effort seems overly cruel and is inaccurate- amateurs are at least striving. This thing is lazy. Kids, don't waste your time. Find something else. You're reading this on the internet. Something better is a click away.
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