Pirate Radio (2009) Poster


Rhys Darby: Angus Nutsford



  • Angus : The way I look at it, the world couldn't survive without my comedy, and who's going to have the moral backbone to play the Seekers when the mood is right?

    Dave : They've split up.

    Angus : I intend to celebrate the back catalogue.

    Dave : I intend to stop you doing so.

    Mark : [silently stands up and lights a cigarette] 

    Simon : As some of you know, my wife left me after 17 hours of marriage, but I survived that because I live for music. And now, with nothing else to live for, I'm willing to die for it as well.

    'On-The-Hour' John : I've always lived for news and weather. Happy to die for them, too. Especially the weather.

    Bob Silver 'the Dawn Treader' : I've got nowhere else to go.

    Harold : I have somewhere else to go, but it's Peckham. So I think I'll stick around.

    Felicity : Can't let everyone starve. And I'm slightly worried where my increasingly powerful sexuality will take me when I return to normal life.

    Thick Kevin : I've got a very strong suspicion that Felicity fancies me. Not about to go anywhere, just when I'm in with a chance.

    'Young' Carl : Obviously, I'm in. You're the only people in the world who like me.

  • Angus : 'How about it?' How about this? Try and fuck your way out of this one Mark!

  • Angus : She likes the bearded man...

    Dave : With a tiny knob...

  • Angus : Official sources word today sad to announce this separation of Simon and Eleanor, after 17 hours of marriage. It is understood due to musical differences.

  • Angus : And the bride is blushing now as the groom is gazing into her eyes. You can almost see Cupid fluttering his wings above their heads

    [imitating wings flapping, then cawing] 

    Angus : No, that was a seagull.

  • Dave : Sure throwing him in is the best way to get him to learn how to swim?

    The Count : Absolutely.

    Dave : Ok.

    The Count : On second thought, it might just be for kids.

    Angus : I can't touch the bottom!

    The Count : Yeah, that's right. Throw a baby in, it floats. Instinctively, naturally. It's a beautiful thing. I think if you throw in an adult, doesn't work that way.

    Angus : Goodbye!

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