16 to Life (2009)
Narrator: This is the story of a small-town girl.
Kate: "Call me Ishmael."
Narrator: Who just finished Moby Dick.
Kate: My favorite books right now are Twilight and Survival in Auschwitz. Before that I was in to Huckleberry Finn; not because I live on the Mississippi, but because fundamentalists want to ban it.
Narrator: This small-town girl reads. Some might say too much.
Kate: The Chinese people were brainwashed. I don't get cults.
Louise: I was in a cult once. It was called marriage.
Kate: [caught dancing at window] Did you see anything - please say no.
Carson: Definitely not.
Kate: You're lying.
Kate: Nice wrapping paper.
Darby: Thought you'd like cashews.
Kate: They're half empty.
Darby: Or half full, just depending on how you look at it. I was a little hungry when I was wrapping it. Can I actually have some of it?
Kate: This birthday so sucks!
Darby: You're emotionally ten. You probably never even masturbated.
Kate: I've masturbated - a lot!
[turns to biker that just walked up]
Candi: I don't like your attitude. I want the cook.
Darby: You know what your problem is? You read too much, okay? You know too much about... the holocaust, and being black in America. Oh, and ChapStick addictions? Come on Kate, you're nuts.
Kate: I thought you would find it interesting that people could be addicted to ChapStick. And technically it's not the ChapStick that's addictive, it's the putting it on that's addictive.
Bobby: Please step out of the vehicle.
Louise: He can't step out of the vehicle, he's in a wheelchair.
Kate: Next, I'm reading a book Tatiana gave me about a Russian girl, a hundred years ago, who can't be with a man she wants. If I were that girl I wouldn't throw myself under a train. I'd get on that train with the man I love.
Narrator: It looks like we're in for several months of depressing Russian writers...
Kate: What do you think of the guy at Darby's window?
Rene: He's wearin' a pink polo shirt. Anything else you need to know?
Tatiana: Ok, if your mother still alive, one of your parents never see you again, who you choose?
Kate: I love my dad, but I think mothers need their daughters more emotionally.
Tatiana: I choose my dad, I hate my mother.
Kate: If something happens to her your going to feel horrible.
Tatiana: No, I hate. When I'm twelve she come onto me sexually. She have no boundaries even though she is family therapist. I tell her, "Put down the vodka and get away from me." This is really good fudge.