Lost in Austen (2008)
Jemima Rooper: Amanda Price
Mr. Darcy : Amanda. It means 'she who must be loved'.
Amanda Price : You must not. You must not...
Mr. Darcy : Wherefore must I not? Who is to judge us? I have laboured so long in the service of propriety.
Amanda Price : Elizabeth. I am not Elizabeth. The entire world will... hate me.
Mr. Darcy : Were that true, Amanda, I would fight the world! You are the one I love.
Mr. Darcy : [surprised] Miss Price.
Amanda Price : Yes. We should celebrate. You asked me a question and I answered it. And we didn't have an argument about it.
Mr. Darcy : I did not ask you a question. I made an observation, 'Miss Price'. The confirmation of your identity was entirely superfluous. As a result we are now arguing about it. And therefore, you are wrong.
Amanda Price : That's so sweet. You're actually trying to make me laugh.
Mr. Darcy : Yes. It shall not occur again.
Amanda Price : And you're smiling.
Mr. Darcy : No, no. I only smile in private... when nobody is looking.
Mr. Bingley : Darcy regards all forms of sudden locomotion as emblematic of ill-breeding. Hunting, tennis, rising precipitately from a chair...
Mr. Darcy : When Miss Price and I dance, sir, there shall be nothing sudden.
Amanda Price : I can't dance this sort of dance.
Mr. Darcy : Nor I. Together we shall make a shambles. But we shall do it with such authority that everyone will stare at us to learn the step.
Amanda Price : Hear that sound, George? Duh-uh-uh-uh! That's Jane Austen spinning in her grave like a cat in a tumble-dryer.
Amanda Price : I'm not hung up about Darcy. I do not sit at home with the pause button on Colin Firth in clingy pants, okay? I love the love story. I love Elizabeth. I love the manners and language and the courtesy. It's become part of who I am and what I want. I'm saying that I have standards.
Frankie : Oh, you have standards, pet. I hope they help you on with your coat when you're 70.
Amanda Price : The rest of us are gonna say goodbye nicely and watch you step through all that plumbing into fictional Georgian England and that'll be it. And then we'll all spend the rest of our lives in therapy. It's going to be fine.
Amanda Price : You wish to speak to me, sir?
Mr. Darcy : I am... concerned.
Amanda Price : I don't understand.
Mr. Darcy : You came to this house knowing you'll be brought to Lady Catherine's. Knowing I would be there, knowing full well the abysmal disregard in which I hold you. Why, when I am, as you insist, so relentlessly unpleasant to you, do you persist in seeking me out?
Amanda Price : But I didn't seek you out. You came to me!
Mr. Darcy : Why?
Amanda Price : I don't know!
Mr. Darcy : You must know. I do not, and my lack of comprehension is tormenting me.
Amanda Price : Mrs Collins needs me. Good night.
[Darcy grabs hold of Amanda, and leans forward as if to kiss her]
Amanda Price : [apprehensively] Are you quite sure this is what you mean to do?
Amanda Price : I try not to judge people I've never met
Mr. Darcy : You are a philosopher, Miss Price. I would I could be like you.
Amanda Price : Certainly you would benefit an occupation of some kind. You have no function, Mr. Darcy. No purpose.
Mr. Darcy : Of course not. What a disgusting idea. That is the raison d'etre of society. We must be seen to be unoccupied.
Amanda Price : [to Darcy] You're supposed to be so bloody incandescent with integrity and you misjudge everybody! You misjudge me!
Mr. Wickham : Where am I to sleep?
Amanda Price : I am grateful to you, George. But where you... put yourself tonight is not my concern. Perhaps you should address yourself to Mr. Collins.
Mr. Wickham : I doubt Mr. Collins is equipped to give me satisfaction with regards to this enquiry.
Amanda Price : Then you must take matters into your own hands. Mine are full.
Amanda Price : [to Elizabeth through the door] Collins. On the page, OK, he's pretty bad. In the flesh, he's all-time king of the mingers!
Amanda Price : You're better than this! I know you are because I've had you in my head, Fitzwilliam Darcy, since I was 12 years old. So why are you behaving like such a total git? Jane has no money. So what? Bingley's got stacks! What right have you to trash their love because of an... accident of birth?
Mr. Darcy : There is no accident in birth.
Amanda Price : Do you know what I am so angry?
Mr. Darcy : You were born thus.
Amanda Price : I've been in love with your life for 14 years. Cut my heart out, Darcy. It's your name written on it with Elizabeth's. God Almighty, here you are! One half the greatest love story ever told. You! And do you know what? You don't deserve her.
Mr. Darcy : Is this interview concluded? It is so difficult to tell.
Amanda Price : You are such a disappointment, I can hardly bear to look at you!
Mr. Darcy : A deprivation I shall endure as stoically as I can.
Amanda Price : You're so relentless unpleasant! I just can't get at the real you!
Mr. Darcy : Madam! Behold, Fitzwilliam Darcy. I am what I am. If you find yourself unable to 'get at' an alternative version, I must own to being glad. I despise the intrusions of a woman so singularly dedicated to mendacity, disorder and lewdness. They repel me. You repel me. You are an abomination, Madam. Good afternoon to you.
Amanda Price : [after Darcy leaves] If I dream about him tonight, I shall be really angry! I'm going to dream about him. Well, I hope in my dream you choke. Hateful man!
Jane Bennet : He is in love with you.
Amanda Price : No, he can't be! That... doesn't make sense at all. That's crazy. Darcy, okay, and Elizabeth Bennet of Longbourne, not Darcy and Amanda Price of W6!
Jane Bennet : Lizzie did not come to my wedding. She has detached herself from the fortunes of this family. It is the thing that she has chosen. You must acknowledge this, Miss Price, of your own choosing. I think you are a good person and you deserve happiness!
Mr. Wickham : Miss Price, I fear that your life with Mr. Collins may be short of gaeity. If you find yourself nonplussed by the anticipated pleasures of married life, call upon me and I shall redress the deficit.
Amanda Price : Full marks for trying, George, but I wouldn't have my deficit redressed by you if you were the last man on earth.
Caroline Bingley : Charles told me your secret. It is my secret too. I shall get my paws on Darcy and I shall marry him because it is correct, and necessary and expected by everyone including God. But the physical society of men is something I have never sought. I shall endure it with Darcy because endurance is a speciality of our sex. But the poetry of Sappho is the only music that shall ever touch my heart, though I have yet to play upon the um... instrument myself.
Amanda Price : [Thinking, after Caroline leaves] Goodness. Jane Austen would be fairly suprised to find she'd written that!