Cross dresser has bad start to new year; Girl gymnast does a nasty split; Cremator gets creamed; Liquid cocaine is not an energy drink; Stewardess makes unscheduled landing; Taxidermist stuffs his face; Pumpkin thief gets gourd.
A murderer busts out of the nut house; Big boobies do in a stripper; Mean caretaker gets pickled; Free runner runs out of time; Softballer busts a gut; Two hunters get dogged; Japanese game show contestant gets deep sixed.
A hairdresser swallows too many 'leg spreaders'; Katrina looters get a shock; 1920's pipe-hitting homeboys; phony doctor gets touched by a leper; a mistress loses face; a cell phone user gets disconnected.
An email scammer gets deleted; a hot co-ed flunks out; a grave robber digs his own; a war lord snorts crystal death; a couple screw themselves to death in mid-air; two losers suck and blow up; an old Nazi meets an old bullet.
A billionaire bottoms out; it's hard out there for a Russian pimp; gang bangers play doctor; a pyromaniac gets burned; an ice cream man gets iced; a bad actor needs a hand; a Greek gets his brass handed to him.
A jersey chaser gets plugged;OCD stands for "of course (you're) dead";a terrorist eats himself to death;an animal abuser gets dog boned;a massage parlor patron has an unhappy ending;a bank robber loses his head.
A disco king hits the floor; a sauna contest gets gaseous; an upskirting perv gets busted; a meathead blows himself (up); a pot farmer gets munchied; a football coach splits his uprights; a drunk heckler gets fleshed out.
A hot welder goes down on the job; Unfaithful wife can't cheat death; '20's gangster gets steamed; Mother-in-law from hell goes back; Assassin is allergic to dying; Drunk wifey gets mowed down; Mayoral candidate gets the point.