Shorts (PG, 1:29) — Fantasy: Fairy Tales, 3rd string, original
You might think that "Shorts" refers to the size of the heroes in this film, but in fact it's an allusion to the movie's structure, purporting to be a collection of short films recorded over a 2-day period but shown out of sequence, thus: 0: The Blinkers 2: Alien8ed 1: Wishing Rock 4: Big Bad Booger 3: The Miscommunicators 5: The End
The narrator is Toby "Toe" Thompson (Jimmy Bennett), a geeky kid with braces who's the butt of the bullying inflicted by his school's 2 rich kids, Helvetica and Cole Black, dotter and son of leading citizen Carbon Black (James Spader), whose company, Black Box Worldwide Inc., essentially owns the town of Black Falls.
One day Toe discovers a rainbow-colored rock that keeps whispering "make a wish" to him. Turns out the rock has the power to make those wishes come true. Toe starts out wishing for friends just as interesting and unique as he is and is rewarded by a double brace of tiny flying saucers crewed by LGMs who can use advanced tech to make many of his fondest dreams a reality.
The stone keeps getting misplaced, stolen, thrown away, picked up by accident, or launched at random, however, which means that almost every other character gets a chance to use it at one time or another, invariably with unforeseen consequences. This includes Toe's nabors, the Short boys (Laser, Lug, and notably Loogie), even geekier recluse Nose Noseworthy and his germophobic scientist dad, Toe's parents, and of course the Blacks.
This is all played very, very broadly for yuks. We are tipped off early that none of the cartoonish violence will have permanent effect when Loogie dives straight into the mouth of a huge crocodile to try to retrieve the wishing rock and gets koffed up moments later, slathered with half-digested croc lunch but otherwise unharmed.
There are more than just booger jokes, there's a giant animated booger. (Mercifully, there are no pee or fart jokes and only 1 fast visual gag involving pterodactyl poop. Thank you, Robert Rodriguez.)
The kids aren't very good actors, the jokes are corny, the special effects aren't particularly special, and the make-up is obviously fake (probably intentionally). None of this matters much, since it isn't intended to be taken seriously anyway.
Do all these shortcomings add up to a total loser? Not really. It's good-hearted as well as light-hearted, and the moral (be careful what you wish for) is something worth learning at about the age of the target audience. Plus which, not only does it not repeat itself, most of the ideas and gimmicks are original, and the dialog is occasionally witty.
