It might not be any surprise that Rob Riggle watches "Brockmire," but guess which TV show makes him bawl his eyes out?
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Title: Twilight (2008)
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| Cast overview, first billed only: | |||
| Kristen Stewart | ... | Bella Swan | |
| Sarah Clarke | ... | Renée | |
| Matt Bushell | ... | Phil | |
| Billy Burke | ... | Charlie Swan | |
| Gil Birmingham | ... | Billy Black | |
| Taylor Lautner | ... | Jacob Black | |
 |
Gregory Tyree Boyce | ... | Tyler |
| Justin Chon | ... | Eric | |
| Michael Welch | ... | Mike Newton | |
| Anna Kendrick | ... | Jessica | |
| Christian Serratos | ... | Angela | |
| Nikki Reed | ... | Rosalie | |
| Kellan Lutz | ... | Emmet Cullen | |
| Ashley Greene | ... | Alice Cullen | |
| Jackson Rathbone | ... | Jasper | |
Bella Swan has always been a little bit different. Never one to run with the crowd, Bella never cared about fitting in with the trendy girls at her Phoenix, Arizona high school. When her mother remarries and Bella chooses to live with her father in the rainy little town of Forks, Washington, she doesn't expect much of anything to change. But things do change when she meets the mysterious and dazzlingly beautiful Edward Cullen. For Edward is nothing like any boy she's ever met. He's nothing like anyone she's ever met, period. He's intelligent and witty, and he seems to see straight into her soul. In no time at all, they are swept up in a passionate and decidedly unorthodox romance - unorthodox because Edward really isn't like the other boys. He can run faster than a mountain lion. He can stop a moving car with his bare hands. Oh, and he hasn't aged since 1918. Like all vampires, he's immortal. That's right - vampire. But he doesn't have fangs - that's just in the movies. And he doesn't... Written by Summit Entertainment
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Vampires...They have the the ability to turn into bats. They wear long dark capes and have black slicked back hair. They prey on the innocent for sustenance, they...sparkle?
Twilight is basically a teenage girl's fantasy brought onto the big screen. In fact that's exactly what it is. Stephenie Meyer who wrote the just as popular book openly admitted that it was inspired by a teenage fantasy she had.
So maybe other teenage girls and their lonely moms can relate, but what does that mean for the rest of us? Well put simply, it means that it sucks.
Twilight's plot revolves around the idea of a girl falling in love with a vampire that lusts for her blood and somehow this makes her love him more. Sounds stupid doesn't it? Well it doesn't end there.
The characters are paper thin, and Edward Cullen and his fellowship of fanged fellows all look like their makeup artists went a little to far with the makeup and not far enough with presentation. Edward himself is someone who tries to be mysterious and longing and Bella, who admits to being average, comes of as nothing more than that, yet her blood must be above average in Edward's opinion and Bella risks her life for his desire, is it because she loves him or is it because she thinks he's awesome for being a vampire? don't scenarios like this happen with teens in real life? It's not him, it's his car...
Anyway, about the film. The look of it is about on the same level as a high-budget TV series and comes off as cheap and bland. The CGI effects are some of the most laughable and goofy looking effects seen in awhile. There's one scene where Edward, "sparkles," when exposed to sunlight and there's the running scene that looks highly unconvincing. The sparkles are also a unconvincing part of the story itself. I know these aren't your classic vampires, but sparkling is just lazy.
One of the main reasons the story falls on itself is because, Edward says he wants to "protect," Bella, yet creates a constant danger to her. It seems like if he really cared about her, he wouldn't put her at risk, but what do expect from someone who's 104 years old and is still in High School?
Twilight tries to convincing and epic, but comes off about as much as a Syfy original and it's weak plot and undeveloped characters come off as un-inspired. It's nothing more than a dumbed down romance and an even dumber fantasy. Unless you're a 13 to 16 year old girl or a lonely mother or grandmother, don't waste your time here.