The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (2009) Poster

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9/10
Perhaps targeted at an over-40 audience?
scirceo17 August 2009
I gotta say, I was surprised (as I'm sure The Goods' many detractors will be) by how much I laughed during this movie. The jokes were silly and often in the background. And funny.

I am really not sure what made me laugh so hard. I think it boiled down to the fact that The Goods is a good ol' raunchy comedy, but with a twist: It seems to be aimed at adults who have lived life a bit, not the Superbad crowd. (FWIW, I do not see the humor in Superbad. I tried. Twice. Couldn't get all the way through it. But was glad I had tried, because it allowed me to laugh out loud at one of the jokes in The Goods.) I am curious if there are older people (over the age of 40, let's say) out there who also dig the film.

As for Pivens' performance, I thought it was weak in the dramatic parts, but this is a comedy, so no harm no foul, and I understand that the dramatic story is there because producers feel it's necessary.

All the players were hilarious. I thought maybe the psycho WW2 vet was a bit over the top, but he did play that part well.

This is normally not my kind of movie -- cheap, raunchy humor is not my bag. I went on a whim and was pleasantly surprised.
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8/10
Plot? Who says a comedy needs a plot?
Frederick Smith12 June 2012
Plot? Who says a comedy needs a plot? Apparently no one ever told Andy Stock or Rick Stemson, but that doesn't seem to matter much. The Goods is an absolutely hilarious look at the irreverent business of selling used cars that hasn't been addressed this well since "Cadillac Man" or "Used Cars".

They picked the perfect cast for this side splitter. Jeremy Piven is one of those guys who can pull off the two-dimensional character with finesse. His portrayal of Don Ready is the perfect lead for this cast of unlikely car salesmen trying to save the failing dealership. Ving Rhames plays his role with audacity, as do both Kathryn Hahn and David Koechner, all three exceptional comedians in their own right.

Seeing Alan Thicke and James Brolin in the film, along with Wendie Mallck, reminds us that older actors may not take the stage often, but when they do, they know their stuff. While their roles are brief, they are exceptional and add the right amount of balance to the film.

All in all, while I don't see this film walking away with any Oscars, it is an entertaining adult comedy with some great lines and a few scenes so ridiculous they are priceless. The kiddies need to be in bed or out playing in the yard though. Rated a serious R of language and nudity. Oh, don't forget to keep your eyes peeled for a cameo by the ever hot Gina Gershon.
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5/10
a true hit and miss comedy, like a dartboard of high and low raunch
MisterWhiplash17 August 2009
It's something to note since not too many other reviews will point it out that the director of The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard is Neal Brennan. Who is Neal Brennan? For about the last decade and a half he was the white-guy collaborator, super-close in fact, with Dave Chappelle. Now that their collaboration has fallen apart after Chappelle's walk-away from his show, Brennan is now left to put his own career forward. If The Goods is a sign of where his career might be headed... he still has some ways to go. But it's a decent start: he can definitely let his actors go totally wild and is able to capture plenty of jokes and wacky characters along the way... and also, sometimes, not really at all.

Plot? What plot? It's so thin that you'd need Nicole Richie standing by it for comparison. Oh sure, there's character development, sort of, where we see Don Ready (Jeremy Piven), super hot-shot car salesman and his crew of hot-shot car salesman, come to a small town to help a fledgling car dealership for one weekend to avoid getting bankrupt and/or taken over by the dastardly competition plus a "Man-Band" (over thirty boy band) headed by Ed Helms. The rest of the movie's story focuses on this rag-tag group of characters and their one-track adventures, and Ready's whole "finding-himself" saga which includes facing the fact that he's an a-hole who wanders from town to town without any connections personally or acknowledging that he might have a son (who isn't really, by the way, another 'joke'), and the ultimate goal that you know is going to come around, with a twist or two perhaps.

This is a true throw-a-dart-at-a-board comedy where the filmmaker and writers just keep the gags going and going on. It's not just Brennan pushing it either, since Will Ferrell (who appears in one of the funniest scenes in the movie as an angel visiting Ready to give him a boost as a former salesman) produced it, and it has that crazy anything-goes style. What works? This will be subjective, 100%. You can't go into this knowing what to expect even if you think you'd like 'this' kind of movie, meaning a movie with lots of (very) R-rated comedy and actors that those of us who see these movies recognize (Craig Robinson, ken Jeong, Helms, Rob Riggle). Some may dispute if Rob Riggle playing a 10 year old man-child is funny (or the female salesman who keeps hitting on him) or if James Brolin's gay thing for another salesman is funny, or if Helms as a guy in a "Man-Band" going completely obvious is funny.

Some of this, in fact, is. But if I had one problem really overall it was Jeremy Piven. I have a feeling you either really go with this guys work or you don't. I don't, at least not anymore. To describe his performance as Ready is as simple as saying that he walked off the set of Entorage and didn't get out of character except to switch from talent agent to car salesman. It's old-hat by this point, and it's something that Piven has had for a lot of his career going back to PCU. If someone else had played this character it might have been funnier, or more interesting, but with Piven his obvious streak in this film becomes obnoxious, and even funny lines are overplayed as if "hey, this is FUNNY". This can be a problem sporadically in the film as well (one of the characters, for me, that had this was the WW2 veteran car salesman), but none so more prevalent than Piven.

On the opposite side of this is Ving Rhames, who gives a surprisingly funny comic performance as a mack-daddy who's had sex with hundreds of women... but has 'never made love' and finds his possible match with a political-science major stripping to make ends meet. It's a sign of subtlety that the film lacks otherwise. The Goods is an in-your-face * broad* comedy that keeps the jokes flying like a fast food joint. I don't fault the film for trying, but it will be at best a cult curiosity as opposed to something fans of 'this' kind of comedy fully embrace (the Will Ferrell school of crude absurdity to a tee). 5.5/10
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8/10
Exactly what it should be
njf07 November 2009
After reading so many bad reviews and angry critiques by many people who have only heard certain lines out of context and have not actually watched the entire film, I was surprised and thoroughly pleased to be laughing out loud throughout this entire movie. After a slightly slow start with few jokes in the first ten minutes setting up the story and characters, they finally arrive at the car lot and the story then immediately develops into a very funny final eighty minutes. It is a comedy with an ensemble cast of actors featured in numerous Ferrell/McKay movies with plenty of good-natured humorous satire of needless prejudices that will be familiar to anyone who has watched Chappelle's Show and was able to grasp the satire behind it. Rather than setting up one big gag for the end, the movie has countless visual jokes, hidden background details and subtexts, and quotable lines of funny dialogue layered so thick that multiple viewings will still be enjoyable. This is far superior to Brennan's first film, the unfortunately only mildly humorous Totally Awesome, and features significantly better casting, directing, editing, and production skills. I was concerned that it would be another letdown, but this movie far exceeded my expectations and I look forward to watching it again and noticing even more funny things because some of the funniest details are said immediately after another joke and may be missed because of laughter or are humorous small visual details. This type of layered comedy is known from Anchorman, Caddyshack, Step Brothers, Super Troopers, and Chappelle's Show, so if you liked those then you will be able to appreciate all of the funny lines and jokes from the varied and great cast and all of the humorous details carefully interwoven into this film. Will Ferrell was amazing as a character more crass than ever before and veteran actors Alan Thicke and Ving Rhaymes surprise with their character-breaking roles. Ed Helms and Rob Riggle were my main reasons for wanting to see this film and they do not disappoint when on camera, but I was a skeptical viewer pleased to find that the film was thoroughly funny from start to finish no matter who was on camera in a particular moment. This is what Totally Awesome should have been and exactly what a contemporary comedy should be.
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6/10
A good but not great comedy
djp200012 August 2009
Warning: Spoilers
The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard stars Jeremy Piven as Don Ready, a character not all that different from Ari Gold who he plays on Entourage… but maybe a little more over the top. He's considered a "mercenary" car salesman; he doesn't work for one auto dealership. Instead, he prefers to go from one dealership to another for brief periods of time when one of them is in dire need of a renegade salesman who can turn things around.

James Brolin plays Ben Selleck who owns a flailing dealership and decides to hire Don Ready for his upcoming Fourth of July sale. Don is having his daily breakfast at a strip club when he receives the call. He gathers up his crew who travel with him wherever he's needed. Don even hires the strip club dj and some strippers to liven things up at the big holiday sale. As I was watching this movie, I thought of how cool it would be to actually have a dj and strippers at a car dealership. I'm pretty sure it would get me over there to check out some cars.

The film has some very good jokes, especially in the first half of the film. It wears a little thin in the second half when they get into a slump and Don loses his focus. He even starts to fall for Selleck's daughter although she's already engaged to a grown man who sings in a boy-band. I guess they had to have somewhat of a story arc as there's not any kind of complicated plot here. Overall, most of the gags work because they're pretty over-the-top just as The Hangover was. This even has some of the same stars from that movie in this one. As a small bonus, Will Ferrell shows up for a brief but rather funny cameo. The film clocks in at just 90 minutes which is perfect for a comedy of this nature, any more than that would have been dragging it out.
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2/10
The Goods: Suck Hard, Suck Really Hard
jerryrevolution27 December 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Maybe I'm a bit spoiled because I saw this the day I rented Adventureland and The Hangover.

I don't mind when a comedy uses gimmicks to construct a plot or tell a story but only if they're funny. I enjoyed Anchorman and every other Will Ferrell movie that did that, but the gimmicks in this movie aren't funny. Further more, these bits contradict each other and make the viewer confused. For example: There are 2 introduction scenes for Don Ready. Neither of which are funny but the second does develop his schtick.

Even after it's been reiterated several times, and shown (on the airplane) how good of seller Don Ready is, why does he need a pep talk from his buddy before motivating the sales team? Why did the Ed Helms character come in during dinner and mention that he has to go to practice then leave with his finacee even though he was leaving for practice? I could go on, but let me say that the biggest problem is the movie should never have happened. Why would the owner of car dealership (who wants to get out of the business) make a bet that he could sell all the cars on the lot so that he can keep his dealership? Didn't make sense to me either.

Neal Brennan should never direct again. The only thing I will ever watch that involves Neal Brennan is a new season of the Chapelle show.
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7/10
Sell or Be sold.
brownah1815 November 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Ben Selleck (James Brolin) is about to go down with his business Selleck Motors. He does not have a plan what to do to save his company and decides to hire Don Ready (Jeremy Piven) and his group of professional sellers to help his business stay open. After Ready has his spiel and help sell 71 cars in the first day Stu Harding (Alan Thicke) and his son Paxton (Ed Helms) show up to make a deal with Selleck to buy his lot from him. Before that Ready makes a deal with him to sell the rest of the cars on the lot to save from selling his business he agrees to let it pan out before making any hasty decisions. Ready thinks Blake (Jonathan Sadowski) is his son after hearing how his father left him and his mother and has a crush on Selleck's daughter Ivy (Jordana Spiro) who is engaged to Paxton. This movie is filled with a lot of comedic actors, but also has a great message when you get all the quirks out of it. You even see an appearance from Will Ferrell who is the old owner that Ready worked for. Ed Helms who is currently on the show the Office, plays a funny character and does a great job. He has a lot of things going for him I think. It's funny and I'm sure you will be laughing at most of the jokes in this one.
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3/10
'The Goods,' no cash for this clunker
gregeichelberger12 August 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Trying to be a raunchy and crude comedy in the vein of "The 40-Year-Old Virgin," "Knocked Up" and "The Hangover," the newest Paramount Vantage release, "The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard," just manages to end up being raunchy and crude.

Directed by Neal Brennan (in his feature film debut, although he has helmed several episodes of the "Dave Chappell Show"), "The Goods" tells the story of a failing used car dealership in Temecula, CA. (I've actually been there) and the efforts of its owner, Ben Selleck (James Brolin) to save it by hiring a group of "mercenary" salespeople.

These include Brent Gage (David Koechner, "Taladega Nights," "SNL"), Jibby Newsome (Ving Rhames, "Mission Impossible"), Babs Merrick (Kathryn Hahn, "Step Brothers," "Revolutionary Road") and the leader, David "The Goods" Ready (Jeremy Piven, "Old School," "Smoking Aces").

Ready is cool, sure and super confident (he even talks a flight attendant into letting him smoke on board an airplane in flight). But beneath this calm exterior, he hides a deep and troubling secret. Ah, the plot complications of a wafer-thin story line.

The current sales staff is so inept, that one wonders why they even got into auto sales to begin with. There's a goofy Korean guy (Ken Jeong, Mr. Chow in "The Hangover"), a wimp (Tony Hale, Emmett Milbarge in the TV series, "Chuck") and an elderly racist who calls everyone a "queer" and punches out customers (Charles Napier, "Annapolis," "The Manchurian Candidate"). It's no wonder the place is going down the toilet.

By holding a special three-day July Fourth blowout sale, though, Ready hopes to sell every car on the lot and save Selleck's livelihood. His group then takes over, orders new TV spots made, sets up an Astro-Jump for the kiddies and brings in a DJ who refuses to take requests (Craig Robinson, "Zack and Miri Make a Porno," Darryl in "The Office").

The blitz seems to work and the amped-up staff sells 71 vehicles on the first day, but complications occur and soon the owner of a competing dealership (Alan Thicke, "Growing Pains") is trying to buy Selleck's lot. It seems that Thicke's son, Paxton (Ed Helms, "The Hangover," "The Office") - who is part of a boy band and is dating Selleck's daughter, Ivy (Jordana Spiro, P.J. Franklin in the cable series, "My Boys") - needs a big space to rehearse his group in (a used car lot?!)

Yes, there are F-Bombs aplenty, comic violence tossed about and the sex and sleaze are ratcheted up, but the film really only provides four or five solid laughs and a number of little guffaws.

A small amount of unnecessary pathos is injected and the subplots - Newsome wants to find true love with a stripper, Ready feels guilty about the "Kirkie" and Merrick is horny for a 10-year-old boy (in the body of Rob Riggle, "The Hangover") - are not amusing in the least, and the last one is downright uncomfortable.

One of the funniest sequences, however, concerns a crowd rioting when Eric Bice (brother of "American Idol" contestant, Bo Bice) fails to show up at a concert and Ready tries to take his place.

Basically an updated, dirty version of 1980's "Used Cars" (with Kurt Russell and Jack Warden) with little of the humanity or hilarity of that picture. Too bad there's no cash available for this clunker.
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8/10
The Goods sells big laughs
C-Younkin13 August 2009
It seems like every week i'm saying there is a new "funniest movie of the year." "Funny People" is my current favorite but "The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard" is it's non-dramatic equivalent.

First off this is a great role for Jeremy Piven, very much in Ari Gold-form as Don Ready, a car salesman-for-hire who travels around America with his crew helping out lackluster dealerships. Don is the type of character you immediately love, a born talker who not only manages to smoke on the plane ride over to Temecula, CA, he turns it into an all-out orgy complete with live mariachi band.

Why go to Temecula? The car dealership owned by Ben Selleck (James Brolin) is in trouble, struggling with rag-tag salesman, poor sales returns, and as Babs (Kathryn Hahn), one part of Don's crew points out, the place looks like a "refugee camp for dirty men." Along with his other two sidekicks, Brent (David Koechner) and Jibby (Ving Rhames), Don must sell all the cars off the lot or the dealership faces being sold to Stu Harding (Alan Thicke), another more successful dealer.

His son is Paxton Harding (Ed Helms), a late-30's man whose real dream is for his boy band to finally get off the ground. Paxton is engaged to Selleck's daughter Ivy (Jordana Spiro), who Don also finds attractive. Soon Ivy, plus a long-lost son Don fathered when he was 10-years old, encourages him to think about finally settling down. Wall to wall ridiculousness ensues.

Directed by Neal Brennan (a former writer on Chappelle Show) and written by Andy Stock and Rick Stempson, this is an offensively rude, crude, profane laugh machine from first scene to last. There are a few really good lines and the supporting cast gets some of the most hilarious material i've seen this year. The Daily Show's Rob Riggle as Selleck's son Peter, a 10 year old with a pituitary problem that makes him look 40. Kathryn Hahn as Don's sexually abrasive partner, using porno to sell cars and lusting after the innocent but very hunky Peter. Charles Napier as an older salesman who pines for the olden days and gets crazily angry and offensive to women, gays, Asians, and just about everybody really. Ving Rhames, playing a character who's had sex with thousands of women but has never "made love". Ed Helms, with his pot-belly and spiky hair-do, does nice work with the boy band stuff. James Brolin has a running gay gag with David Koechner that never gets old, and Brolin's car commercial, where he guilt-trips everyone to buy because he is dying of ball cancer, had me in tears. And like I said, I'm trying not to give too much away but Will Ferrell gets a cameo that single-handedly makes you forgive the atrocity that was "Land of the Lost."

This is all just the tip of the iceberg of this insanely hilarious movie. You just want to start listing funny thing after funny thing, its that good.
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1/10
Do not see this movie!
renadah14 August 2009
Warning: Spoilers
The funniest parts of the movie are all in the trailer, and everything in the trailer is in the first ten minutes of the movie. Jeremy Piven tries to carry the movie, but the audience realizes that even he gives up on the script in the middle of the movie. He must have needed the money, because this role was so beneath him.

This is my first time ever commenting on any movie. I have to warn others not to see this movie even if it's for free. I want my money back along with the amount of time I suffered through this horrible piece of crap. This movie is just a bunch of unflushed characters with running gags that are more stupid than funny. "Ari Gould" should have thrown this script out of the window followed by the writer. Yes, it is that BAD!
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4/10
A Nutshell Review: The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard
DICK STEEL27 December 2009
Gone are the days when a comedy with a premise as simple as this, would have made me laugh uncontrollably at every instance of humour. It's either I've grown older and more cynical, or have totally lost my funny bone. I'd reckon that it's more of the former, as I still laugh just as hard when I revisit comedies done by the Zucker Brothers time and again, which measured by my personal yardstick, goes to show that the comedies these days lack a certain oomph. Watching this was a reminiscence of an era that I'm still missing, where comedies really gave audiences some bang for their buck with jokes that will send you rip- roaring.

What filmmakers like director Neal Brennan would reckon is funny, is the constant dropping of F-bombs and turning everything possible into a sexual innuendo, be it hitting on the gays, or treading so finely on pedophilia, which I suppose to him is meant to be funny with a female cougar scouring quite unsuccessfully a boy who's trapped in a man's body.

The flimsy plot on which the laughs are built upon, involve a used car business founded by Ben Selleck (James Brolin), who has seen better days, and is now threatened with foreclosure. His sales force, made up of the likes of a senile drill sergeant (Charles Napier) and a madcap korean (Ken Jeong rising to some prominence these days), spells doom especially when they lose customers more than keep and sell them something. Hence extreme times like this meant to engage an external, proved consultant, and that's Don Ready (Jeremy Piven) and his team of Jibby Newsome (Ving Rhames), Brent Gage (David Koechner) and Babs Merrick (Kathryn Hahn).

Part of the fun here I suppose is how each character has to exorcise their personal demons and issues, especially with members of the Selleck family. For Don, it's the prospect of acknowledging a long lost son whom he had unknowingly left behind, and the wooing of Ivy Selleck (Jordana Spiro), who is engaged to boy band leader Paxton Harding (Ed Helms from The Hangover). Then there's Brent who has to keep Ben Selleck himself off his back given the latter's newfound sexual desire. Babs is trying to hit on man-child Peter Selleck (Rob Riggle), a 10 year old trapped in a 30 year old body. And Jibby just wants to make love. Right. Jeremy Piven also lacked that cocky charisma to have carried his character off, and unfortunately for him too that the last act have him moping and whining more than the cocksure seller that he supposedly is.

There's nothing you won't already predict in the narrative as it unfolds and coasts along from joke to joke with its cardboard characters, some of which do work, but most falling flat on its face. Nothing surprising will turn up as you'll see all incoming development from a mile away, right up to the finale. The saving grace may just be Will Farell's uncredited appearance together with two gospel angels who don't mince their lyrics, but other than that, The Goods should have tried harder to live up to its tagline in putting bums on seats - I got an entire hall to myself!
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4/10
Not much of a story in Hard sell.
mm-3915 August 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Not much of a story in hard sell. Comedy can not be funny without a good story. Hard sell has no story and just throws in some shock, sex jokes, over the top comments, and sight gags. Funny for a few minutes or a short skit but not a whole movie. The actors did there best with the material they had to work with. The movie has a cameo of Will. Many b actors, some who have not been in movies for years. No stunts or memorable scenes. Rent or video on demand Hard sell. Save your money and see another movie this summer. Soon to be in the 99 cent bin at a Block Buster near you. I give Hard sell a four out of ten. I hate it when they show the best parts on the trailer and make you believe the whole movie is that good.
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4/10
Captain Querque
David Ferguson16 August 2009
Greetings again from the darkness. Billed as 'from the makers of Talladega Nights and Anchorma', this one doesn't come close to either. Sure Adam McKay and Will Ferrell are as listed Producers, and Mr Ferrell has another of his unending string of cameos, but the film has none of the charm or big laughs that those two far superior comedies offer.

Jeremy Piven just can't carry a film ... and I believe he is a talented actor. But after this one, Smokin Aces and Keeping up with the Steins, he has proved to be much more effective in supporting roles (see Entourage). His career will last much longer if he will just embrace the supporting role. In this film, he is so over the top that his character is neither a parody nor believable nor really very funny. Comedy works best if we feel a touch of empathy or even hatred for the lead. Here, I liked the movie best when Piven was not in a scene (which rarely happened).

The good things about the film are the work of Bab's husband James Brolin, the interesting Kathryn Hahn, the raging Charles Napier, "10 yr old pituitary case" Rob Riggle, and Cameron Diaz lookalike Jordana Spiro. But the absolute best part is the fast rising Ed Helms (The Office, The Hangover). He really goes all out in his role as spoiled grown-up in a "man band".

For two better comedies set at a car lot, see Used Cars (with Kurt Russell and the great Jack Warden) and Cadillac Man (Tim Robbins and Rosin Williams). For better comedies ... the list is limitless.
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4/10
The Goods? Buyer Beware
Tom625328 November 2009
Jeremy Pivin plays Don "The Goods" Ready, a "gun-for-hire" car salesman in this would-be triumphant comedy that falls flat. When business at Sellek Motors is dying, the owner (James Brolin) calls in Ready and his team of crackerjack salesmen to sellout the entire lot on 4th of July weekend. The plot has the makings of a classic, and with the team of Adam McKay and Will Ferril behind the wheel of this vehicle, one would only expect good things. However, the film attempts comedy through exaggerated performances and ridiculously lewd characters, many of the frat pack films from the same people. Only, this is Talledega Nights on steroids. Now, the film is not without positives. This film showcases performances by several veteran actors whom are seldom seen in theatrical films anymore. Also, the film experiences a good twenty minute run of entertaining events and genuine laughs, beginning at about the 30 minute mark, where Alan Thicke is introduced to set things up for the second act. Unfortunately Thicke's character is underused. But, the comedic high point of this film is Charles Napier's portrayal of the tactless, racist war vet salesman. A performance that perfectly hits where the others miss. It's an exaggeration, but not an uncontrollable one. Napier is the hidden gem in this film. As a whole, this movie does not have the goods. Upon paying for this film, I recommend a warranty.
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3/10
A complete BORE
JaysonT15 August 2009
Warning: Spoilers
"The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard" could have been a very engaging experience for the art of selling cars. A car salesman, like the trusty insurance salesman and proficient civil attorney, is a hustler in his own right. He or she must convince the buyer of two things: that they're getting a good car, and that they're the right person for the car. If you can win a buyer with your charm, who cares about the merchandise your hoaxing them into getting? And so brings the comedy "The Goods...", with Jeremy Piven as our leading man. The three-time Emmy award winning actor from "Entourage" (and for you hardcore enthusiasts, "Ellen"), he doesn't quite have the Robert Downey, Jr. charm it takes to hold a flaky movie like this together. He's more of a supporting player. He is NO leading man.

The plot centers around him and a group of perverse car salespeople who decide to see if they can sell 200 cars off a lot in a short period of time. The purpose? More complicated then it seems, but really to impress a bunch of old rich white men. And to keep their jobs. Needless to say, we get plenty of scenes involving cars being sold, but not enough realism about the actual job. There's too much unnecessary sex jokes, too much scattered comedy for us to really invest in these characters.

If you want to see a good movie about selling things, rent "Glengarry Glen Ross"- an all-star cast playing sales people who must sell the most leads to keep themselves employed. David Mamet wrote the screenplay based on his play, and the movie stars Jack Lemmon, Al Pacino, Kevin Spacey, Alan Arkin, Ed Harris, Jonathan Pryce and Alec Baldwin (in a role he still can brag is his best).

There's a dumb subplot in "The Goods..." involving Piven and some wooden blond female he likes a lot. For what reason, I don't know- she has no interesting qualities other then her sexy lips. The only funny part of the movie involves two scenarios- one has a very old racist man trying to sell a car to a couple, and one has Will Ferrell falling to his death from an airplane. Oh, and two black women telling Piven he's too old to have a facebook account. That's about it. Ving Rhames has a thankless role of a man who is so stupid he has to tell a woman "Yesa ma'am, I do likes me a smart woman." Really? Is this how low the screenwriters have to sink- make the black guy dumb. Of course.

Big time waster.
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7/10
Lighten up--this movie is a spoof of GLENRARRY GLEN ROSS
charlytully13 August 2009
Warning: Spoilers
We saw this movie at a sneak preview, and the earlier reviewers do not seem to appreciate that this flick is intended as broad satire. As traveling car sales motivational team leader Don Ready, Jeremy Piven is spoofing Alec Baldwin's role in director James Foley\writer David Mamet's hard-hitting 1992 cynical masterpiece about real estate salesmen, GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS. Imagine Donald Sutherland extending his short bit from THE DIRTY DOZEN in which he is impersonating a general to Sutherland assuming the lead role in a feature-length spoof of George C. Scott's Oscar-winning performance in PATTON, and you will understand the relationship between THE GOODS and GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS. Does this mean I think GOODS is as much a "must-see" as ROSS? Heck no. I rated ROSS at "9" of 10, GOODS at 7. But GOODS is pretty funny in an often politically-incorrect manner, and the two lap-dancer ladies offer up a new definition of full-body contact Twister. While I definitely do NOT want to see THE GOODS production team take on SCHINDLER'S LIST as their next project, it would be kind of humorous if they could tackle the challenge of educating today's youth in a school such as Hogwarts.
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10/10
This movie is hilarious- trashy, but hilarious nonetheless
sam funderburk14 August 2009
This movie is hilarious. Now I know a lot of people are going to see this movie and think that it was nothing more than trashy jokes and immature humor, but that was the point of the movie. It was intentionally made to be utterly ridiculous, and no one with even half a brain should have gone into this movie expecting anything more- it was made quite obvious in the previews! I mean seriously, in one of the previews, the main character (Jeremy Piven/Don Ready) says this: "We all just participated in a hate crime… let's get our story straight, He came at us with a samurai sword, a fire extinguisher, and Chinese throwing stars," in reference to beating up an Asian car salesman. If you can see that, and go in expecting a serious movie… I don't even know what to say.

Anyway, I would see this again, and I will be buying the DVD. Great movie.

Also, if you haven't seen any Jeremy Piven movies, go see Smokin' Aces.
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4/10
Why?
aborgione19 August 2009
I went in to this movie with very low expectations and it turned out to be worse than i thought. I liked Stepbrothers and Talledega Nights and all those other movies but this just wasn't funny. It had plenty of funny people in it ( Jeremy Piven, Will Ferrel, Craig Robinson, and Andy Bernard from the Office), but they didn't have any funny lines. I think I laughed maybe 3-4 times. The writers just didn't write anything funny. Hollywood needs to quit with the over-hyped garbage they have been making lately. Comedy movies should have to pass through a screening before they get released. This was even worse than Land of the Lost.

Someone owes me 7 dollars plus some gas money...
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1/10
All the "jokes" are in the commercials. The rest is just badly put together
dbborroughs31 August 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Jeremy Piven stars in a film concerning a team of car liquidators who are brought in to help James Brolin's dealership sell 200 cars in three days.

They tell me its a comedy. They might be right since there are laughs in the commercials. Personally I think its a tragedy since this is one of the most unfunny comedies I've ever seen.

The cast is there. I think the script should have worked. Something went horribly wrong when the film was put together. Clearly this was done for reasons other than love, its clear since they kept in shots of the boom mic dropping down. Who ever edited the film understands nothing about pacing. The timing is all off. There is no comic rhythm to any of the film. Its horrible. The jokes just sort of lay there. Then again maybe they weren't really good jokes to begin with since one of the running gags concerns one of Piven's gang wanting to sleep with Brolin's 6 foot tall and very mature ten year old. Its funny once, after the third time it definitely goes into the creepy bin. Actually thinking about it the jokes are pretty bad. I think the lack of pacing just makes them more noticeable.

I sat there with out cracking a smile. No I did smile, and laugh as the technical problem were shouted out by audience members. ("Boom mic!" was followed by cheers). I stayed for the audience because honestly the movie sure wasn't entertaining.

If you must see this wait for cable and remember that I didn't warn you.
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6/10
Funny..but could have been better
mnl073020 August 2009
I've seen a lot of posts on this site either claiming this a terrible waste of time or the funniest ever made. The truth is the people that deemed this "unwatchable" or "left after 30 mins" should never have gone in the first place. What did you expect.. seriously? The writing could have been a lot better but it was still entertaining. It's worth a watch but is not as good as Talladega Nights or Anchorman. Ed Helms and Rob Riggle stole the screen much like they did in The Hangover. However disappointing was the performance by Ken Juong, who suffered badly from the lack of creative writing. In the end, the movie "is what it is" a decent hit and miss comedy.
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3/10
Don't waste your time (And don't say you weren't warned)
ckaye-118 February 2010
Warning: Spoilers
This is a poorly written script that was chopped together without any flowing pace. Given the premise and the cast, I really thought it would be a winner, boy was I wrong. The comedy bits are so transparent and telegraphed that when the punchline finally arrives, it's really not funny. The Selleck Sales force is ridiculous...why would a failing business employ so many people especially a prejudiced senile war veteran who verbally and physically abuses both employees and potential customers. I, for one, can only guess that Will Ferrell had a lot to do with the direction this film went as it has his un-humorous fingerprints all over it. Once I recognized this, everything about this movie became clear as to why it was so hard to sit through, and why Forbes.com voted Will Ferrell the most overpaid actor in Hollywood. Save yourself the hour and a half of your life and do something better ...like watch paint dry. (Like I said...Don't say you weren't warned)
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7/10
Goods Hits Several Irreverent Marks
CitizenCaine30 August 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Neal Brennan, the creator of the Dave Chappelle Show, makes his feature film debut with The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard. The not always likable Jeremy Piven stars as used car fixer Don Ready summoned for a huge sell off event during fourth of July weekend in order to save the family run lot owned by Ben Selleck played by James Brolin. Piven brings his three veteran cohorts along and it's soon apparent they've been doing this kind of thing for years. Kathryn Hahn as Babs borders on manic depressive/bi-polar/sexual deviant, trying to get it on with the man/child son of Ben Selleck (Rob Riggle). Ving Rhames as Jibby Newsome is a stud who wants to be in love with a woman, not just just have sex with them. Right! Later on he may get his wish with a student stripping her way through college (Noureen DeWulf). David Koechner as Brent Gage may have to get cozy with Ben Selleck. Piven supposedly may have a long lost son working on the lot, but otherwise he's a womanizer who meets his match in Jordana Spiro as Ivy Selleck, daughter of Ben.

As is usually the case in these kind of films, the gags/jokes are hit or miss, like the Will Ferrell cameo role (which seems to serve no other purpose besides Will looking at the audience and saying "hey audience, look, I'm Will Ferrell and I'm doing this cameo!). Many of them do miss, but several of them hit high enough to make the film consistently entertaining. The plot involves the Sellecks trying to enlist Piven's crew to save a hostile takeover of their used car lot. The opposition is Alan Thicke as Stu Harding. With tongue in cheek, Thicke tries bulldozing his way over Brolin to obtain his car lot. Thicke's son, Ed Helms playing Paxton Harding, is an obnoxious jerk who intends to marry Ivy Selleck. Paxton Harding and his two cohorts form a grossly overage version of a boy band called The Big Ups, which is absolutely hilarious.

Once the film settles in on the used car lot survival story, what follows is predictable enough. Viewers watch simply to see how things arrive at the predictable end result. From the outlandish pep talks to the incredibly diverse group of salespeople, especially Charles Napier as a crusty old veteran who doesn't belong anywhere near a sales job, the gags and jokes come at a frenetic pace. All of the gags involving Napier are very funny. The commercial Brolin makes as a last ditch effort to save his lot is a scream. Much of the humor is crass, irreverent, raunchy, vulgar, and politically incorrect. However, there are far too many other "comedies" out there that simply can not elicit chuckles from the audience like this can, much less real laughter. Viewers who enjoy this should see Used Cars from 1980, a very very funny film about the same topic. Viewers near 40 and over will recall it well. Look fast for Gina Gershon in a bit part. *** of 4 stars.
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10/10
Don't Believe The Hate--Funniest Movie I've Ever Seen
morphiaflow15 August 2009
Warning: Spoilers
There are many kinds of comedy, and many kinds of movies, and some, like, say, REPO MAN, exist as an entity unto themselves because they defy classification. Such is THE GOODS. From moment one, it is unapologetically, unabashedly, entirely its own thing. It strikes a sublime, impossible balance between the crude, the absurd and the endearing. It tells a complete story, all the characters have arcs and through-lines, and yet it also manages to reach heights of silliness and raunch the likes of which have never been combined--all to supreme comic effect. The casting is ideal, the score is surprisingly effective. Quite simply I have never, ever laughed this hard at any movie in my life. I laughed at this the way I was **TOLD** I would laugh at THE HANGOVER--which I enjoyed, but which can't compare to this true comic masterpiece. It's not for everyone. Some folks just won't "get it". That's OK. But when I'm on that desert island trying to find somewhere to plug in my DVD player, THE GOODS will be there with me, along with the aforementioned REPO MAN, THE JERK, CADDYSHACK, HEATHERS, STRANGE BREW, CABIN BOY, UHF, UNDERCOVER BROTHER, and several others--yes, it belongs in that lofty company. So don't believe the hate, especially from those who have only seen the TV spots or trailers. And ABSOLUTELY do not believe those who are trying to make PC arguments against the film, because the very issues they raise are immediately addressed in the film. Just go see it.

Or as I told all my friends immediately upon getting home: "OMFG. See the Goods. See the Goods. I'm not kidding. SEE THE GOODS. I have NEVER seen a funnier movie. I have NEVER laughed that hard at a movie. I can't even put it into words. If you don't see it ASAP, you can't be my friend any...more. Seriously. I will hire midgets to beat you up. I will have **** **** your Significant Other. Get it? Understand? You're scum and I hate you if you don't see it! NOW!!!! This movie is why God has allowed humanity to exist for this long, so it could get made. It renews my faith in humanity and the future. I hope this is understood." I really think that says it all.

But I'll add this anyway: I have enjoyed a lot of the Apatow/Rogen/Stiller/Ferrell/etc comedies that have dominated this decade; but frankly, they've become overwrought, too high concept, and sometimes forget that they're just supposed to be FUNNY. This is a low budget, quick and dirty, get-to-the-joke-and-get-out COMEDY in every sense. It is thoroughly unpretentious, completely guileless, and thoroughly sincerely. So don't believe the hate. Go see it.
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3/10
the goods
steveo829 October 2009
well were do i get started about 'the goods'. The goods is basically about a car sales shop which is doing bad so they decide to call in merc car sales men and a girl to help out and thats basically the jist of the story. Boy was it a mistake of me and my friends wasting our money on a linear piece of garbage like this the only good part hint the 3 stars was the intro showing you the vet fighting customers other wise this film could have entertained a bunch of 10 year olds sneeking into a 15 movie.

God do i want my money back for this piece of crap

there's lots of other great films out there but please avoid this stinker.
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7/10
The Goods might sell some but then not others...
ArthurMausser14 August 2009
Can someone get Jeremy Piven a back brace? Anything I see this guy in, Entourage included, he always has to carry the show. The supporting cast is OK but could have done better with the great comic lines they were given. Kathryn Hahn supports Piven the best.

The first 30 minutes are funny but then the movie sort of fizzles out with predictability. Will Farrell needs to reinvent his Shtick because he did not get one chuckle out of me.

If you or someone you're with want to see a comedy, I guess this might be the only one to choose from right now. It will be worth a rent or an HBO view, but to go to the theater to see it, save your $9.

Piven needs to have a larger role in selecting his cast mates for future projects. He obviously didn't select these.
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