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"The Big Bang Theory" The Middle Earth Paradigm (TV Episode 2007) Poster

Quotes

Leonard: [after getting kissed by Penny in his Hobbit costume] That's right, you saw what you saw. That's how we roll in the Shire!

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Leonard: A Homo habilis man discovering his opposable thumb says what?

Kurt: [confused] What?

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Sheldon: I'm confused. If there's no costume parade, what are we doing here?

Leonard: We're socializing. Meeting new people...

Sheldon: Telepathically?

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Sheldon: Like Jane Goodall observing the apes, I initially saw their interactions as confusing and unstructured, but patterns emerge, they have their own... language if you will.

Leonard: Go on.

Sheldon: Well, it seems that the newcomer approaches the existing group With the greeting: "How wasted am I?" which is met with an approving chorus of: "Dude!"

Leonard: Then what happens?

Sheldon: That's as far as I've gotten.

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Penny: Well, I ran into him last week and, he was just, all apologetic, about how he's changed, and he was just going on and on and, and I believed him, and I'm an idiot because I always believe guys like that and... I can't go back to my party because he's there, and I know you don't want to hear this but I'm upset and I'm really drunk and I just want to talk...

[Bursts into tears and rests head on Leonard's shoulder]

Leonard: There, there.

Penny: God, what is wrong with me?

Leonard: Nothing; you're perfect.

Penny: I'm not perfect.

Leonard: Yes, you are.

Penny: You really think so, don't you?

[She kisses him]

Leonard: Penny?

Penny: Yeah?

Leonard: How much have you had to drink tonight?

Penny: Just... a lot.

Leonard: Are you sure that your being drunk, and your being angry with Kurt doesn't have something to do with what's going on here?

Penny: It might. Boy, you're really smart.

Leonard: Yeah, I'm a frickin' genius.

Penny: Leonard, you are so great. Why can't all guys be like you?

Leonard: Because if all guys were like me, the human race couldn't survive.

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Leonard: Why don't you just tell people you're a zebra?

Sheldon: Why don't you just tell people you're one of the seven dwarves?

Leonard: Because I'm Frodo!

Sheldon: Yes... Well... I'm the Doppler effect!

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[first lines]

Raj Koothrappali: OK, if no-one else will say it, I will. We really suck at paint-ball.

Howard Wolowitz: That was absolutely humiliating.

Leonard: Oh, come on, some battles you win, some battles you lose.

Howard Wolowitz: Yes, but you don't have to lose to Kyle Bernstein's Bar-Mitzvah party.

Leonard: I think we have to acknowledge those were some fairly savage preadolescent Jews.

Sheldon: No, we were annihilated by our own incompetent and the inability of some people to follow the chain of command.

Leonard: Sheldon, let it go!

Sheldon: No, I want to talk about the fact that Wolowitz shot me in the back.

Howard Wolowitz: I shot you for good reason. You were leading us into disaster.

Sheldon: I was giving clear, concise orders.

Leonard: You hid behind a tree yelling: "Get the kid in the yarmulke; get the kid in the yarmulke!"

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Raj Koothrappali: If only I had his confidence. I have such difficulty speaking to women. Or around women. Or at times even effeminate men.

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[last lines]

Cheryl: [in bed with Raj]

[sighs]

Cheryl: I have to say... you are an amazing man. You're gentle... and passionate... and, my God! you are such a good listener.

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Leonard: Are misfiring neurons in your hippocampus preventing the conversion from short term to long-term memory?

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Raj Koothrappali: [dressed as Thor, Norse God of Thunder] Hey. Sorry I'm late but my hammer got stuck in the door on the bus.

Leonard: You went with Thor?

Raj Koothrappali: What? Just because I'm Indian I can't be a Norse God? No, no, no Raj has to be an Indian God. That's racism. I mean, look at Wolowitz. He's not English but he's dressed like Peter Pan. Sheldon is neither sound nor light but he's obviously the Doppler effect.

Howard Wolowitz: I'm not Peter Pan. I'm Robin Hood.

Raj Koothrappali: Really? Because I saw Peter Pan and you're dressed exactly like Cathy Rigby. She was a little bigger than you but it's basically the same look, man.

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