Mick St. John: [voiceover] When you live forever, it's disappointing how little humans change. Technology, though, it always gets better. If I hadn't become a vampire, I would have missed out on the Internet, TIVO, World of Warcraft... and GPS.
Josef Konstantin: [pulls up in his car, says gleefully] You made the news.
Mick St. John: [disgusted] Great.
Josef Konstantin: Well, apparently attempted murder. The charge against you carries a twenty-year penalty. A fire-arm enhancement adds another fifteen. That's what they called it: enhancement.
Josef Konstantin: Look. Prison is not the vampire's friend.
Mick St. John: No.
Mick St. John: No.
Josef Konstantin: Look on the positive side. In 25 years you'll probably get a book deal.
Mick St. John: [sarcastically] Well, thank you.
Josef Konstantin: You're way off your game, pal.
Mick St. John: What did you say?
Josef Konstantin: You heard me.
Josef Konstantin: Poured myself a drink. You actually drink this stuff? What is it like nonfat soy vegan blood?
Mick St. John: [reaching for glass] If you don't like it...
Josef Konstantin: [pulling glass away from Mick] Never said that.
Mick St. John: You sure?
Josef Konstantin: Get outta here!
Beth Turner: I keep dreaming about you. Why?
[she walks over to Mick]
Mick St. John: [vamped out] Please, don't look at me.
Beth Turner: [looks at the state that Mick's in] Oh my god.
[Mick turns to look at her; his eyes silver and blood drips down his chin; she gasps]
Beth Turner: What are you?
Mick St. John: I'm a vampire.
Josef Konstantin: [Josef has either arm around two lovely women in seductive clothing who are freshies... humans who willingly donate blood to vampires] Which would you like red or white?
Josef Konstantin: [Mick eyes them both prospectively and hungrily] The red.
Josef Konstantin: How many times have I told you not to bother me when I'm eating?
Mick St. John: [Lee Jay is holding a blowtorch to Mick who's been shot with silver bullets and now wants Mick to turn him. Mikc refuses] The last thing this world needs is an eternal you!
70-Year-Old Det. Bobby Desmond: [Mick is fired up about the release of the convict that he helped put away] Now, don't go breaking your hip or anything! Remember we are 70 years old now.
Mick St. John: [Mick smiles as the old detective is blind and can't see that he hasn't aged] I will. Take care Bobby.