Kevin and Andy team up to reclaim the stolen Dunder Mifflin parking spaces, which forces them into a showdown with the other four bosses of the office park. Meanwhile, Michael becomes fascinated by a woman modeling chairs in a catalog.
- An office next door is renovating and the construction crews are taking up some of the spaces. Oscar and Andy have nowhere to park.
Jim and Pam explain there is a satellite parking lot across the street. "Tell them what we saw today, Jim."
"Today we saw a junkyard dog, attacking the bones of a rotisserie chicken," Jim says.
Says Pam: "Nature."
Kevin vows to quit, while Andy complains about losing a penny out of his loafers on the walk.
Michael tries to decide upon a new chair. But he's found someone in the catalogue to distract him - for three weeks. Pam cares because she's getting his old one.
Michael is transfixed by the chair model. "You just know there is a side of her that could just curl up on the couch."
He thinks fate brought him that catalogue. No, it was Pam.
Michael talks about being single. "I'm optimistic. Because I'm desperate, and desperate situations yield the quickest results."
Creed checks in with Pam on the status of Michael's chair decision. He's getting her old one.
Michael announces that anyone planning to fix Michael up should use the chair model on page 85 as a template.
He talks to people in the office about getting set up with their friends, striking out with Kevin then Oscar.
Phyllis announces that she has a friend who's "gorgeous and has a feisty personality."
Michael asks various questions about her and then asks if an average size rowboat could support her.
Phyllis doesn't answer for a moment then admits, no, it couldn't.
What is wrong with these people, Michael wonders in his solitude.
"Dating shouldn't be hard for somebody like me, but it is, and you know why? Because nobody here is willing to help me," he announces.
He tells the office he needs help, because "I want to play ball with my kids before I get too old, and before that happens, I need to get laid." "I'm a catch and I'm not going to be the one who got away."
Dwight passes out index cards for them to write the name of a woman for him to date by the end of the hour - or they're fired.
Andy and Kevin complain about the walk to the lot. Michael, who has an assigned parking space, tries to imagine what it would be like not to have one. He makes a thinking hard face.
In the breakroom, Stanley decides there's no one he hates enough to inflict Michael upon them. Jim writes down Pam's mom. Phyllis writes down her fat friend and says he can just deal.
Michael calls the first name, Wendy, a "hot and juicy red head." It rings. "Wendy's," the voice answers. Michael plows bravely on, "Hi, Wendy, this is Kevin's friend Michael." Informed he's not speaking to Wendy, he asks for her to be put on. "Dude, this is a Wendy's restaurant." Burned. Ah, but who has not found sweet succor in a triple with cheese now and then?
Dwight promises to bring Michael the chair model. He makes some calls. Turns out she died in a car accident.
Michael is shaken. She was so young. He takes a moment.
Trying to cheer him up, Pam gives him a name. Her landlady.
"No question about it, I am ready to be hurt again," he says.
Still perturbed about the parking, Kevin decides it's time to assemble the five families - the heads of the five companies in the office park. Michael, Bob Vance (Bob Vance refrigeration), Paul Faust, W.B. Jones and Bill Cress ("Bill Cress is super old and really mean," Kevin says).
Michael blows him off, Kevin calls the meeting anyway.
Michael goes to a coffee shop to meet Pam's landlady. When she's not as hot as he'd hoped (average, but not uncute), he pretends he's not Michael. The barista calls him out by finishing his hot chocolate. Awkward.
They sit down to talk, Michael keeps his hand on his face - he can't look at her. He starts complaining it's hard to meet people. He shows Landlady a picture of Jan, mentioning the boob job. "She was just crazy-smart, really manipulative."
Margaret the landlady decides it's time to head out. "I enjoyed this conversation," he tells her. "It was like talking to a sweet, old lady on the bus." She says: "That's incredibly rude." "Now you ruined it," he says.
Back at the office, Andy and Kevin preside over a meeting of the four families. "Michael Scott could not make it today thanks to an unforeseen prior engagement," Andy says.
They announce the purpose of the meeting. Stalling, then asking for their spaces.
The dudes agree surprisingly quickly.
Michael comes back and yells at Pam for setting him up, not making any more sense than he usually does.
Jim strolls over to Pam. "Margaret? You just got yourself kicked out of your apartment." She doesn't care, she doesn't like it there anyway, she'll just move.
Wait for it...
Jim calls her a slob and she tells him she'll just move in with her boyfriend because he's kind of a slob, too. "Ok, let's do it." "No, I'm not going to move in with anyone unless I'm engaged." "Have I not proposed to you yet?" "No, I don't..." (She looks at her ring finger) "Well, that's coming," he promises. "Oh, right now?" "No. I'm not going to do it right here, that would be rather lame." "Ok, so then when?" "Pam, I'm not going to tell you. I hate to break it to you, but that's not how that works." "Oh right." "I'm serious. It's happening. And when it happens, it is going to kick your ass, Beesley, so stay sharp." "I've been warned."
Wait. Was that a worried look on Pam's face after Jim walked away? Is there a little 'runaway bride' syndrome in Pam?
Cut to Jim, talking to the camera. He's not kidding. He looks around and then pulls out a box with a ring. He got it a week after they started dating. Awwwww.
Michael comiserates with Dwight. Dwight suggests he needs closure on a relationship that really affected him, but Michael isn't clear what that means. Dwight thinks that means he needs to say good-bye.
Kevin and Andy return, triumphant at having reclaimed their spaces. Andy does a robot dance in the lot.
Michael and Dwight go to say good-bye. In a cemetery.
Good-bye to the chair model. She was in a car crash. Stoned, apparently.
Michael mourns the loss of the one person meant for him. "What do you do?" he asks.
Duh. "Wait til next year's chair catalogue comes out, wait for someone who's still alive," Dwight answers.
Jim and Pam leave work. He pauses dramatically and gets down on one knee on the sidewalk. She holds her breath.
"Hey, Pam, will you... wait for me one second while I tie my shoe?"
She gives him a playful swat , because having your hopes and dreams for the future toyed with by someone as adorable as Jim isn't all that bad. They walk away holding hands.
Back at the cemetary, Michael sings good-bye to the chair model lady to the tune of "Miss American Pie." Coming soon to an iTunes near you.