P.J. tries to keep her new relationship from the guys, Brendan works over plans for his new club, and Mike decides to keep his mustache long after the contest is over.
A month after Bobby's canceled wedding, house guest Brandon, though busy working on his club's renovations, detects that P.J. has a lover. His poker-mates mount a stakeout, captained by Mike. Bobby (the secret lover in question who joins to keep his cover) realizes he's become one of them, something well below his cultivated level.
The boys suspect PJ has a secret lover, whom even live-in guest Brendan doesn't know. When they find that Stephanie's been kept in the dark as well, Mike leads the rest in an undercover stakeout to see whom PJ meets up with, not knowing that by including Bobby they're including the object of their curiosity. Meanwhile, as Mike maintains his contest mustache, Brendan pores over plans for his and John's soon-to-open new nightclub.
- Kenny and Bobby are completely shocked. They have never seen anything like it before in their lives. But the club is opening soon, and Brendan MUST work. He's been poring over blueprints and working with the "guy in the hard hat," which IS his official title. Even the smallest change has a profound effect, as P.J. explains when she enters.
P.J. (voiceover) "When something changes with your friends, it's like dropping a pebble in water. You think it's a little thing, but there is a ripple."
This is the cue for Mike to enter, still sporting his mustache, whilst the other guys have reverted to being clean-shaven. This for Brando is a return to his permanent 5 o'clock shadow. Of course, in 20-30 years, Mike will be sporting the Wilford Brimley look---in mustache AND weight, most likely. He doesn't care. His mechanic takes him more seriously, the guy at the newsstand tells him stories about Vietnam, and he actually met the type of women who would enter a wet t-shirt contest. Mike is wondering where Bobby was, as he wanted to set up Bobby with one of the ladies in a wet t-shirt. Bobby is not exactly ready to jump back into the dating pool, but P.J. teases him by saying he should just jump into bed with the first girl he sees. Suddenly, P.J. gets beeped: the Cubs are pursuing a new free agent. She takes off, while Bobby wonders why he didn't get paged. Then he gets paged. Of course, dating Bobby is like throwing a Buick into the pond instead of a pebble, so P.J. had resorted to the work subterfuge and set up the pages. Around the corner, Bobby and P.J. kiss, and he apologizes for choosing to jump into bed with the first girl he sees, which was her.
P.J.: "See, that's why I'm with you. You were the only one in there who heard a word I said."
Two more items of surprise take place in P.J.'s apartment the next morning: she's walking in and Brendan is actually going to work. (Can a Cubs World Series be far behind? I mean, really.) Brendan has to meet the electricians at 8AM, and P.J. tries to cover by saying she was at the gym. Of course, she's not whining about it, and she's still wearing the same clothes. As it stands, P.J. is a horrible liar but very good at turning the conversation away from her.
"Oh, hey. I hear those electrical workers are notorious for being on time."
"Shoot, I gotta go! Do you think Starbucks will be open this early?"
At Crowley's, Mike retains his mustache, and now we know Kenny no longer watches 70's porn because of it. Andy joins them, disguised as a loving and caring husband. Creepy, huh. He's actually cooking dinner (or at least picking it up), and he is bringing Meredith flowers. He's trying to be the Ultimate Husband by being as supportive as possible and picking up the slack. This is how he is able to deal himself a night off each week from it. Brendan has to spill his guts: he thinks P.J. is dating somebody, based on her morning walks of shame. He was able to catch P.J. because of the crazy hours he's been up. It's like he has a job. As Kenny and Mike do their traditional 7th grade "OOOOOHHH's", Bobby covers for himself much better than P.J. did. "Would it be so terrible if P.J. had a boyfriend?"
BRENDAN: "Dude, if she's hiding this guy, he's a total tool and she's ashamed of him. Or, he's totally awesome and she's ashamed of us. Either way, I'm offended." (logic that is simultaneously flawless and pathetic)
Something is clearly going on, although Andy thinking that P.J. is still dating the botanist probably isn't it. Kenny notes that she has smelled slightly different lately, and Brendan noted that she bought a fresh pack of those Venus razors. "It's like shaving with honey." (Mike's mustache seems a lot less weird all of a sudden.) Thankfully, Kenny knows who to ask. They just need to take their shoes off in her new apartment. Stephanie, who seems to have gotten her decorating ideas from Charlotte of "Sex and the City," is just as astounded as the guys are. Stephanie hasn't been told anything, and the last person she discussed with P.J. ended in Stephanie telling her that she was crazy. The guys can't believe that Stephanie doesn't know anything, but Stephanie insists that P.J. hasn't been at her place in weeks. The smoking gun!
STEPHANIE: "Oh, my God! Do you know what this means?"
BRENDAN: "That you haven't met him because he's even worse than us?"
STEPHANIE: "That means she is seeing someone and she didn't even tell me! That little tart!"
Kenny convinces the guys to leave before Stephanie gets on a roll. That, and the ballpoint pen in his pocket is about to ruin Stephanie's white leather couch.
Bobby and P.J. meet at the coffee shop, because apparently this show doesn't get enough comparisons to "Friends." Bobby is confused as to what to say when everybody thinks P.J. is dating. P.J. is actually uncertain if she and Bobby ARE dating. Well, they are seeing each other, they're not just hooking up, so that would likely mean they are dating.
BOBBY: "So, we are dating. So, I should I tell the guys?"
P.J.: "No, no, no! Those guys are like a school of piranhas. They will take the baby deer that is our relationship and they will tear it to bits."
BOBBY: "What is a baby deer doing in the Amazon?"
P.J.: "It's lost its way?"
Bobby has to concede that P.J. is right. She gives the example of how Brendan has his dream job, and is being teased mercilessly about it. Bobby agrees, because watching Brando work is like watching a bear try to fold a map. ("Wow! I'm doing it, too! What have they done to me?")
Bobby would like to put the situation aside for now, but a van decides to pull up instead. Mike, who apparently watched the Beastie Boys' "Sabotage" video too many times as a kid, gets him in the van and hands him a walkie-talkie. All of them are going on a stakeout to discover P.J.'s new boyfriend. Bobby...correction, "Little Bear"...is not exactly thrilled. They pull up to the restaurant where P.J. and Stephanie are having dinner. While Stephanie tries to pry the new guy's name, the boys contemplate who the guy could be. There's the philanthropist with the Porsche, the food critic at the Sun-Times, the triathlete from the gym, or Jeremy Piven. The stakeout seems to be falling apart, though. Brendan has to run to the club for an emergency, Bobby doesn't even want to be there, and Andy can't seem to get a pizza delivered to four guys parked in a gray minivan across from a grade school. (can't imagine why)
Fortunately, Stephanie has better luck with P.J. Of course, she completely reverses her prior advice to P.J. about how dating Bobby is crazy. Certainly no crazier than carrying a walkie-talkie into the restaurant with her. She seems to be playing the Nina Meyers to P.J.'s Jack Bauer. Thankfully, nobody gets killed, but the guys in the van must depart immediately, as "the Jackal" has ratted them out (although she wanted to be "Lady Danger").
P.J. decides she must tell the truth before things get more ridiculous, like Bobby grilling her on all these men she seems to be dating. It would seem Bobby's been brainwashed by the guys, because he agrees to be the new "inside man" and find out about P.J.'s date. Thankfully, reality sets in and he sees what is going on. He agrees with P.J. to just tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may. No need to call; Mike busts in on them full of paranoia about P.J.'s "boyfriend." P.J. tells Serpico to radio the other guys and come on up. After a slight communication problem on how to communicate, P.J. communicates that she and Bobby are dating.
KENNY: "What Bobby?"
P.J.: "This Bobby! Right here."
The guys try to come to grips with this information. Of course, Mike wants to know if they are...well, it's hard to say the term he uses, but it ends with "Sheboygan," for some reason. The guys are stammering for what to say.
P.J.: "Okay! You can ask one question!"
BRENDAN: "When did it start?"
MIKE: "Does she put out on the first date?"
KENNY: "Are her feet soft?"
However, as Bobby points out, the guys can ASK questions. There was no rule about answering them. Fortunately, Andy wants to get the poker game going, but since everybody has to work tomorrow, including Brando, they'll only have one tournament tonight.
P.J.: (voiceover) See? Eventually, the ripples go away and things return to normal. Until the next pebble."