Universal Soldiers is set on an isolated island where a US military instillation named Camp Jacob has been used as the site for a research programme to develop the ultimate weapon with enhanced fighting & survival capabilities, several prototype cyborg soldiers have been created. Unfortunately they have run amok killing most of the human soldiers leaving only a handful to try & fight them off as the enhanced soldiers kill the survivors off one-by-one. The only hope is to radio for assistance & an air-strike but getting to the main computer & the equipment needed involves a long trek across open ground with the enhanced cyborg soldiers in pursuit...
Directed by Griff Furst this is yet another rip-off by The Asylum who take a popular Hollywood film, slightly change the title & make the worst low budget film imaginable to maximize profits (they really don't spend anything on the crap they make) & hope innocent people like you will be fooled into thinking it's a sequel, connected to the Hollywood film or is the Hollywood film. Take Universal Soldiers for instance, obviously made to capitalize on the JCVD & Dolph Lundgren sci-fi action film Universal Soldier (1992) the two titles are almost identical with the exception of an 'S'. That's how this company works, at least the makers of the rip-off films from the 70's & 80's were interested in still producing decent entertainment but The Asylum just churn out crap. Universal Soldiers is easily one of the worst films I have ever seen, Universal Soldiers is one of those films that defies any attempt to convey just how awful it is, Universal Soldiers is one of those films where you really need to see it to realise how awful it is but don't take that as a recommendation since it's painful to sit through. At a mere 80 minutes it's still boring & dull, the plot is awful & mainly consists of a few military soldiers running around a few fields for over an hour. Seriously, 90% of Universal Soldiers is set in a field. The character's are awful, the dialogue is awful & the plot makes zero sense anyway. Why, if these enhanced soldiers are so advanced, can they not find a better way to communicate with each other than drawing symbols on rocks? What's wrong with radios? You would have thought they would have one built in or something. Why, if these enhanced soldiers are so advanced, do they kill people with wooden spears? Surely a bullet would be better? What do they do with the weapons they steal from the dead soldiers? At the end one has trouble opening a door while two are taken out by a skinny little woman using nothing more than a branch. Hardly the fearsome state of the killing machines they are constantly described as. There are so many things wrong with Universal Soldiers it's scary, probably the cheapest looking & frankly crappiest film I've seen in ages.
As well as being a conceptual disaster with an appalling script that makes no logical sense Universal Soldiers is also technically awful from the sound mike picking up wind that obscure the dialogue to scenes that go from bright daylight to dark evening within itself to some absolute rank CGI computer effects. The Universal Soldiers themselves are embarrassing, guy's dressed in black with what look like cardboard attachments from silly looking shoulder pads to something on their back to a rubbish looking face mount that seems to do nothing. These cyborgs are meant to have incredible eyesight but every time we get a point-of-view shot it's blurry & all one primary colour like red or green & there are these random numbers that don't seem to indicate this & every cyborg has it's name at the top of it's field of vision, presumably in case it forgets it. The action scenes are awful, guns don't seem to fire at random intervals, there's no excitement & no attempt at making something entertaining has been attempted here. There's a bit when the soldiers reach the armoury & I was thinking 'right there's going to loads of weapons here' but when they open it up there's like five small handguns on the wall.
I would have thought the budget for this was less than a hundred grand, shot entirely in some fields & a few sheds the costumes, music & effects are all poor. Of course Universal Soldiers has absolutely nothing to do with Universal Soldier & feels more like Predator (1987) & The Terminator (1984) rip-offs. The acting is awful with most of the cast just screaming, screeching & shouting.
Universal Soldiers is surely the worst film of 2007, it's got to be a contender for the worst film I have ever seen too & I've sat through some stinkers. There is not one positive aspect about Universal Soldiers, seriously if you think big Hollywood studios make the worst films & think smaller budget indie films are better than I present Universal Soldiers as evidence. I honestly can't see how anyone could gain any entertainment from this atrocious film.
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