Vampire Killers (2009)

Their women having been enslaved by the local pack of lesbian vampires thanks to an ancient curse, the remaining menfolk of a rural town send two hapless young lads out onto the moors as a sacrifice.

Director:

Phil Claydon

Writers:

Stewart Williams (screenplay), Paul Hupfield (screenplay)

Stars:

Paul McGann, James Corden, MyAnna Buring

1 win & 1 nomination.

Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Silvia Colloca	...	Carmilla
Margarita Hall	...	Daughter of Darkness 1
Sianad Gregory	...	Daughter of Darkness 2
Mathew Horne	...	Jimmy
Lucy Gaskell	...	Judy
Emma Clifford	...	Ms Rossi
James Corden	...	Fletch
Travis Oliver	...	Steve
Susie Amy	...	Blonde
MyAnna Buring	...	Lotte
Louise Dylan	...	Anke
Ashley Mulheron	...	Trudi
Tiffany Mulheron	...	Heidi
John Pierce Jones	...	Landlord (as John Pierce-Jones)
Steve Clark-Hall	...	Sidney Goatherder No.7 / The Storyteller

Storyline

Centuries ago, Baron Wolfgang MacLaren vanquished the Vampire Queen Carmilla in the remote Cragwich; however, before decapitating the evil vampire, she curses the locals and descendants of the baron, swearing that every woman would turn into a lesbian vampire on the eighteenth birthday. On the present days, the clumsy and naive cuckold Jimmy is dumped again by his girlfriend Judy and misses her. His best friend Fletch is fired in his job of clown after hitting an annoying boy. The two friends are broken and decide to camp in the countryside to forget their problems, and Jimmy throws a dart in a map in a pub to decide where they should go. They head to Cragwich and when they arrive in the bar Baron's Rest, they see four hot girls leaving the place in a Kombi. The innkeeper offers the old Mircalla cottage in the woods for them, the same place the girls will lodge. Meanwhile, Lotte, Heide, Anke and Trudi have trouble with their van and Jimmy and Fletch reach them in the forest and they ...

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Plot Keywords:

lesbian vampire | female nudity | lesbian | lesbo | vampire | 

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Taglines:

After Twilight, The Real Party Starts

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Genres:

Action | Comedy | Fantasy | Horror

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Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for language, sexual content and horror violence

Did You Know?

Trivia

Writers Stewart Williams and Paul Hupfield were challenged to think of the dumbest and yet most commercial title possible for a film, Lesbian Vampire Killers was the answer. They then went away and wrote the script.

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Quotes

Fletch: Yep, lesbian vampires. Just another one of God's cruel tricks to get on my tits. Even dead women'd sooner sleep with each other than get with me it would appear. But eatin' me alive, oh no, that's fine. Next time he'll have me bummed by a big gay werewolf I swear.

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Connections

Spoofs Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

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Soundtracks

General Custard
Written by Barrie Gledden (as Gledden), Kes Loy (as Loy) and Richard Lacy (as Lacey)
Licensed courtesy of Audio Networks

User Reviews

Cheesy but I liked it.

This is without a doubt a movie all teenage boys wish they could have made. Dumb without a doubt. No real worth other than cheeky humor and showing off women in a tawdry way. But come on this is what the entire movie was about.

I hope that the budget wasn't all that much so that maybe they can do a sequel with werewolves so that Fletch can get what he asked for in this movie.

To all the people out there why slam a movie when the movie was made to be like this. It's not like they were trying to make another Dracula (1992). This was nothing but fun campy humor. And well done at that.

Details

Country:

UK

Language:

English

Release Date:

20 March 2009 (UK)

Also Known As:

Vampire Killers

Filming Locations:

Luton Hoo Estate, Luton, Bedfordshire, England, UK

Box Office

Cumulative Worldwide Gross:

$3,276,702

Company Credits

Production Co:

Alliance Films, Momentum Pictures, Velvet Bite

Technical Specs

Runtime:

86 min 88 min (European Film Market)

Sound Mix:

Dolby Digital

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

2.35 : 1