Vampire Killers (2009)

Their women having been enslaved by the local pack of lesbian vampires thanks to an ancient curse, the remaining menfolk of a rural town send two hapless young lads out onto the moors as a sacrifice.

Director:

Phil Claydon

Writers:

Stewart Williams (screenplay), Paul Hupfield (screenplay)

Stars:

Paul McGann, James Corden, MyAnna Buring

1 win & 1 nomination.

Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Silvia Colloca	...	Carmilla
Margarita Hall	...	Daughter of Darkness 1
Sianad Gregory	...	Daughter of Darkness 2
Mathew Horne	...	Jimmy
Lucy Gaskell	...	Judy
Emma Clifford	...	Ms Rossi
James Corden	...	Fletch
Travis Oliver	...	Steve
Susie Amy	...	Blonde
MyAnna Buring	...	Lotte
Louise Dylan	...	Anke
Ashley Mulheron	...	Trudi
Tiffany Mulheron	...	Heidi
John Pierce Jones	...	Landlord (as John Pierce-Jones)
Steve Clark-Hall	...	Sidney Goatherder No.7 / The Storyteller

Storyline

Centuries ago, Baron Wolfgang MacLaren vanquished the Vampire Queen Carmilla in the remote Cragwich; however, before decapitating the evil vampire, she curses the locals and descendants of the baron, swearing that every woman would turn into a lesbian vampire on the eighteenth birthday. On the present days, the clumsy and naive cuckold Jimmy is dumped again by his girlfriend Judy and misses her. His best friend Fletch is fired in his job of clown after hitting an annoying boy. The two friends are broken and decide to camp in the countryside to forget their problems, and Jimmy throws a dart in a map in a pub to decide where they should go. They head to Cragwich and when they arrive in the bar Baron's Rest, they see four hot girls leaving the place in a Kombi. The innkeeper offers the old Mircalla cottage in the woods for them, the same place the girls will lodge. Meanwhile, Lotte, Heide, Anke and Trudi have trouble with their van and Jimmy and Fletch reach them in the forest and they ...

---

Plot Keywords:

lesbian vampire | female nudity | vampire | lesbian | vampire comedy | 

---

Taglines:

THEY WON;T GO DOWN WITHOUT A BITE... (all-caps U.S. one sheet)

---

Genres:

Action | Comedy | Fantasy | Horror

---

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for language, sexual content and horror violence

Did You Know?

Trivia

Writers Stewart Williams and Paul Hupfield were challenged to think of the dumbest and yet most commercial title possible for a film, Lesbian Vampire Killers was the answer. They then went away and wrote the script.

---

Quotes

Fletch: Hahahahahahahaha! It's got a big metal cock for a handle!

---

Connections

References The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

---

Soundtracks

General Custard
Written by Barrie Gledden (as Gledden), Kes Loy (as Loy) and Richard Lacy (as Lacey)
Licensed courtesy of Audio Networks

User Reviews

Modern day Abbott and Costello meet the Lesbian Vampires

So I can't understand the poor rating for this film, except to think it was marketed to the wrong people (by accident).

What this film is not... 1) A horror film. There are no scares, it's not a fright fest. It's not even really what I would term "gory". 2) This is not Evil Dead, or Shawn or the Dead, but more like Army of Darkness. 3) This is not a porn film, there is little nudity, but if you like to see hot ladies, barely clothed, then...

What this film is... 1) Pure camp and all out laughs 2) lots of action and hilarious special effects. 3) An amazing soundtrack even for a high budget A movie. 4) Non stop memorable scenes and one liners. Based on a lot of reviews from IMDb, critics, and other sites, it seems many who watched this film expected something quite different. To me it's a modern day comic masterpiece Cordon as Fletch and McGann as the Vicar were my favorite characters. The beautiful lead vampires played by Silvia and Vera were amazing and right there as well. The rest of the cast (Mathew and Myanna especially) were also great and did just what they needed to do.

This movie is fun sober or wasted. Enjoy either way just take things a little less seriously...

Details

Country:

UK

Language:

English

Release Date:

20 March 2009 (UK)

Also Known As:

Vampire Killers

Filming Locations:

Luton Hoo Estate, Luton, Bedfordshire, England, UK

Box Office

Cumulative Worldwide Gross:

$3,276,702

Company Credits

Production Co:

Alliance Films, Momentum Pictures, Velvet Bite

Technical Specs

Runtime:

86 min 88 min (European Film Market)

Sound Mix:

Dolby Digital

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

2.35 : 1