Vampire Killers (2009)

Their women having been enslaved by the local pack of lesbian vampires thanks to an ancient curse, the remaining menfolk of a rural town send two hapless young lads out onto the moors as a sacrifice.

Director:

Phil Claydon

Writers:

Stewart Williams (screenplay), Paul Hupfield (screenplay)

Stars:

Paul McGann, James Corden, MyAnna Buring

1 win & 1 nomination.

Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Silvia Colloca	...	Carmilla
Margarita Hall	...	Daughter of Darkness 1
Sianad Gregory	...	Daughter of Darkness 2
Mathew Horne	...	Jimmy
Lucy Gaskell	...	Judy
Emma Clifford	...	Ms Rossi
James Corden	...	Fletch
Travis Oliver	...	Steve
Susie Amy	...	Blonde
MyAnna Buring	...	Lotte
Louise Dylan	...	Anke
Ashley Mulheron	...	Trudi
Tiffany Mulheron	...	Heidi
John Pierce Jones	...	Landlord (as John Pierce-Jones)
Steve Clark-Hall	...	Sidney Goatherder No.7 / The Storyteller

Storyline

Centuries ago, Baron Wolfgang MacLaren vanquished the Vampire Queen Carmilla in the remote Cragwich; however, before decapitating the evil vampire, she curses the locals and descendants of the baron, swearing that every woman would turn into a lesbian vampire on the eighteenth birthday. On the present days, the clumsy and naive cuckold Jimmy is dumped again by his girlfriend Judy and misses her. His best friend Fletch is fired in his job of clown after hitting an annoying boy. The two friends are broken and decide to camp in the countryside to forget their problems, and Jimmy throws a dart in a map in a pub to decide where they should go. They head to Cragwich and when they arrive in the bar Baron's Rest, they see four hot girls leaving the place in a Kombi. The innkeeper offers the old Mircalla cottage in the woods for them, the same place the girls will lodge. Meanwhile, Lotte, Heide, Anke and Trudi have trouble with their van and Jimmy and Fletch reach them in the forest and they ...

---

Plot Keywords:

lesbian vampire | female nudity | lesbian | lesbo | vampire | 

---

Taglines:

After Twilight, The Real Party Starts

---

Genres:

Action | Comedy | Fantasy | Horror

---

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for language, sexual content and horror violence

Did You Know?

Trivia

Writers Stewart Williams and Paul Hupfield were challenged to think of the dumbest and yet most commercial title possible for a film, Lesbian Vampire Killers was the answer. They then went away and wrote the script.

---

Quotes

Fletch: Hahahahahahahaha! It's got a big metal cock for a handle!

---

Connections

Spoofs Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

---

Soundtracks

Under The Moon Of Love
Written by Tommy Boyce (as Boyce') and Curtis Lee (as Lee)
Published by Universal Music Publishing MGB Ltd
Performed by Showaddywaddy
Licensed courtesy of Demon Music Group Ltd (P) 1976

User Reviews

Entertaining Silliness

Centuries ago, Baron Wolfgang MacLaren vanquished the Vampire Queen Carmilla (Silvia Colloca) in the remote Cragwich; however, before decapitating the evil vampire, she curses the locals and descendants of the baron, swearing that every woman would turn into a lesbian vampire on the eighteenth birthday. On the present days, the clumsy and naive cuckold Jimmy (Mathew Horne) is dumped again by his girlfriend Judy (Lucy Gaskell) and misses her. His best friend Fletch (James Corden) is fired in his job of clown after hitting an annoying boy. The two friends are broken and decide to camp in the countryside to forget their problems, and Jimmy throws a dart in a map in a pub to decide where they should go. They head to Cragwich and when they arrive in the bar Baron's Rest, they see four hot girls leaving the place in a Kombi. The innkeeper offers the old Mircalla cottage in the woods for them, the same place the girls will lodge. Meanwhile, Lotte (MyAnna Buring), Heide (Tiffany Mulheron), Anke (Louise Dylan) and Trudi (Ashley Mulheron) have trouble with their van and Jimmy and Fletch reach them in the forest and they offer a ride to the guys to the cottage. They introduce themselves as students of folklore and they are researching the Vampire Queen Carmilla. When Fletch believes that he will have a night of beer and sex with three sexy girls and Jimmy and Lotte have a crush on each other, the cottage is surrounded by a group of lesbian vampires that vampires intend to use Jimmy and Lotte's blood to bring Carmilla back to life. They are abducted by the vampires, but Fletch escapes and meets Reverend Vicar (Paul McGann) that tells him that Jimmy is a descendant of the baron and only hope to stop the evil curse of Cragwich.

The B-movie "Lesbian Vampire Killers" is indeed an entertaining silliness with a funny story, supported by a stylish cinematography, very sexy women and two imbeciles in the lead roles. There are many good moments, and I particularly liked when Jimmy invites by chance the lesbian vampires to enter in the cottage; or the reference to a gay werewolf inclusive in the very last scene; or when Judy meets her lover at his home. This movie will certainly never be nominated to an Oscar and is not recommended to intellectuals or fans of art movie; however, for an average viewer like me that knows what might expect from a movie with the title "Lesbian Vampire Killers", he or she will not be disappointed and will certainly laugh a lot. The beautiful and sexy actresses have been very well cast by the producers. My vote is six.

Title (Brazil): Not Available (only on 30 October 2009)

Details

Country:

UK

Language:

English

Release Date:

20 March 2009 (UK)

Also Known As:

Vampire Killers

Filming Locations:

Luton Hoo Estate, Luton, Bedfordshire, England, UK

Box Office

Cumulative Worldwide Gross:

$3,276,702

Company Credits

Production Co:

Alliance Films, Momentum Pictures, Velvet Bite

Technical Specs

Runtime:

86 min 88 min (European Film Market)

Sound Mix:

Dolby Digital

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

2.35 : 1