- The Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?
- [Alice checks Hatter's temperature]
- Alice Kingsley: I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
- Alice Kingsley: Sometimes I believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
- The Mad Hatter: That is an excellent practice.
- Alice Kingsley: Do you think I've gone 'round the bend?
- Charles Kingsleigh: I'm afraid so... you're mad. Bonkers. Off your head... but I'll tell you a secret... all of the best people are.
- [from trailer]
- The Mad Hatter: There is a place. Like no place on Earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger! Some say to survive it: You need to be as mad as a hatter.
- [picks up his hat]
- The Mad Hatter: Which luckily I am.
- White Queen: Alice, you cannot live your life to please others. The choice must be yours, because when you step out to face that creature, you will step out alone.
- Alice Kingsley: I'm sorry, Hamish. I can't marry you. You're not the right man for me. And there's that trouble with your digestion.
- [Alice walks over to her sister]
- Alice Kingsley: I love you, Margaret, but this is my life. I'll decide what to do with it.
- [Alice turns to Lowell, meeting his sour look with a stern glare]
- Alice Kingsley: You're lucky to have my sister for your wife, Lowell, and be good to her. I'll be watching very closely.
- [Alice goes up to Aunt Imogene and takes her hands]
- Alice Kingsley: There is no prince, Aunt Imogene. You need to talk to someone about these delusions.
- [Alice walks past Lady Ascot, looking sternly at her]
- Alice Kingsley: I happen to love rabbits, especially white ones.
- [Alice goes up to her mother]
- Alice Kingsley: Don't worry, Mother. I'll find something useful to do with my life.
- [Alice turns to the Chattaway sisters]
- Alice Kingsley: You two remind me of some funny boys I met in a dream.
- Lord Ascot: You've left me out.
- Alice Kingsley: No, I haven't, sir. You and I have business to discuss.
- Lord Ascot: Shall we speak in the study?
- [Alice smiles and starts to head to the house, when suddenly she turns back to the crowd]
- Alice Kingsley: Oh. And one more thing.
- [Alice lifts the hem of her dress to her knees and does the Futterwacken]
- Cheshire Cat: [suddenly appearing]
- [notices the marks on Alice's arm]
- Cheshire Cat: It looks like you ran afoul of something with wicked claws.
- Alice Kingsley: [to herself] I've never stopped dreaming.
- Cheshire Cat: What did that to you?
- Alice Kingsley: Bander who... the bander...
- Cheshire Cat: The Bandersnatch?
- [suddenly appears behind Alice, she turns to face him]
- Cheshire Cat: Well, I'd better have a look.
- Alice Kingsley: What are you doing?
- Cheshire Cat: It needs to be purified by someone with evaporting skills, or it will fester and putrefy.
- Alice Kingsley: I'd rather you didn't. I'll be fine as soon as I wake up.
- Cheshire Cat: At least let me bind it for you?
- [Alice holds out her arm and he wraps the wound with a piece of cloth]
- Cheshire Cat: What do you call yourself?
- Alice Kingsley: Alice.
- Cheshire Cat: *The* Alice?
- Alice Kingsley: There's been some debate about that.
- Cheshire Cat: I never get involved in politics.
- [disappears]
- Alice Kingsley: From the moment I fell down that rabbit hole I've been told where I must go and who I must be. I've been shrunk, stretched, scratched, and stuffed into a teapot. I've been accused of being Alice and of not being Alice but this is *my* dream. *I'll* decide where it goes from here.
- The Mad Hatter: 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.
- Alice Kingsley: Sorry, what was that?
- The Mad Hatter: What was what?
- [continues walking]
- The Mad Hatter: The Jabberwock, with eyes aflame, Jaws that bait and claws that catch, Beware the Jabberwock, my son, The frumious Bandersnatch He took his vorpal sword in hand The vorpal blade went snicker-snack He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back. Its all about you, you know
- Alice Kingsley: I'm not slaying anything. I don't slay, so put it out of your mind
- The Mad Hatter: ...Mind?
- [Hatter stops, puts Alice down on a log, and continues walking]
- Alice Kingsley: Wait! You Cant leave me here!
- The Mad Hatter: You don't slay? Do you have any idea what the Red Queen has done? You don't slay.
- Alice Kingsley: I couldn't if i wanted to.
- The Mad Hatter: You're not the same as you were before You were much more..."muchier" You've lost your "muchness"
- Alice Kingsley: My "muchness"?
- The Mad Hatter: [Points to Alice's heart] In there.
- Stayne - Knave of Hearts: [Stayne sees Alice] And who is this lovely creature?
- The Red Queen: Um, my new favourite.
- Stayne - Knave of Hearts: [to Alice] What is your name?
- The Red Queen: Um.
- Stayne - Knave of Hearts: [to Alice] I believe your name has slipped the Queen's mind.
- The Red Queen: Her name is Um, IDIOT!
- Blue Caterpillar: Who are you?
- Alice Kingsley: Absolem?
- Blue Caterpillar: You're not Absolem. I'm Absolem. Stupid girl.
- The Mad Hatter: Your carriage, my lady.
- Alice Kingsley: A hat?
- The Mad Hatter: Of course. Anyone can go by horse or rail, but the absolute best way to travel is by hat. Have I made a rhyme?
- Alice Kingsley: Who's to say what is "proper"? What if it was agreed that "proper" was wearing a codfish on your head? Would you wear it?
- The Red Queen: [the Mad Hatter is brought into The Red Queen's court] Where is Alice?
- The Mad Hatter: I've been considering words that start with the letter M. Moron. Mutiny. Murder. Mmm-malice.
- The Red Queen: Well, we're looking for an A word right now. Where is Alice?
- Stayne - Knave of Hearts: If you're hiding her, you will lose your heads.
- The Mad Hatter: [as Stayne clutches his throat]
- [strained]
- The Mad Hatter: Already lost them.
- Stayne - Knave of Hearts: Alice has escaped.
- [Red Queen slaps him]
- Stayne - Knave of Hearts: On the Bandersnatch.
- [Red Queen slaps him again]
- Stayne - Knave of Hearts: With the Vorpal Sword.
- [Red Queen slaps him again]
- Jabberwocky: So my old foe, we meet on the battlefield once again.
- Alice Kingsley: We've never met.
- Jabberwocky: Not you, insignificant bearer. My ancient enemy, the Vorpal one.
- Alice Kingsley: Alright, that's enough chatter.
- [Alice slices off the Jabberwocky's tongue]
- Stayne - Knave of Hearts: We're looking for the girl called Alice.
- The Mad Hatter: Speaking of the Queen, here's a little song we used to sing in her honor:
- The Mad Hatter, Dormouse, The March Hare: "Twinkle twinkle little bat, how I wonder where you're at. Up..."
- Stayne - Knave of Hearts: [Wraps arm around Hatter's throat] If you're hiding her you'll lose your heads.
- The Mad Hatter: *Already lost them.* All together now!
- The Mad Hatter, Dormouse, The March Hare: "Up above the world you fly, like a tea tray in the sky. Twinkle twinkle..."
- [first lines]
- Lord Ascot: Charles, you have lost your senses? This picture is impossible.
- Charles Kingsleigh: Precisely. Gentlemen, the only way to achieve the impossible, is to believe it's possible.
- The Mad Hatter: 'Twas brillig/and the slithy toves/did gyre and gimbel in the wabe/all mimsy were the borogoves/and the mome raths outgrabe.
- Alice Kingsley: Hatter, why *is* a raven like a writing desk?
- The Mad Hatter: I haven't the slightest idea.
- The Red Queen: I need a pig here!
- [Live pig is slid under her feet]
- The Red Queen: I love a warm pig belly for my aching feet.
- The Red Queen: And what is this?
- White Rabbit: It's a who, majesty. This is... um...
- The Red Queen: 'Um'?
- Alice Kingsley: From Umbridge.
- The Red Queen: What happened to your clothes?
- Alice Kingsley: I outgrew them. I've been growing an awful lot lately. I tower over everyone in Umbridge. They laugh at me. So, I've come to you hoping you might understand what it's like.
- The Red Queen: My dear girl, anyone with a head that large is welcome in my court. Someone find her some clothes, use the curtains if you must, but clothe this enormous girl.
- Lady Ascot: Do you know what I fear most?
- Alice Kingsley: The decline of the aristocracy?
- Lady Ascot: Ugly grandchildren.
- The Mad Hatter: Rise up against the bloody red queen.
- The Mad Hatter: [Hatter looks scornfully at her]
- The Mad Hatter, Dormouse, Dodo Bird, White Rabbit, Tweedledee, Tweedledum: Down with the bloody big head!
- The Mad Hatter: You could stay.
- Alice Kingsley: What an idea. What a mad, crazy, wonderful idea.
- [They smile at each other]
- Alice Kingsley: ... But I can't.
- Cheshire Cat: Who are you?
- Alice Kingsley: I'm Alice.
- Cheshire Cat: *The* Alice?
- Alice Kingsley: There's some debate about that.
- The Red Queen: How would you like to have your head hacked off?
- The Mad Hatter: [chuckles]
- The Red Queen: Stop that.
- Alice Kingsley: [the March Hare throws some food toward the kitchen entrance as the White Queen enters, and ducks under the tossed food, Alice follows] Is the March Hare here?
- The March Hare: [exclaims] You're late for your soup you we buzzem! You're late for your soup!
- Alice Kingsley: [walks in and tastes the spattered food] Could use some salt.
- The March Hare: Come here, you!
- [the Hare tosses a salt shaker at Alice, who ducks out of the way]
- The Mad Hatter: [from trailer]
- [Meeting the Red Queen]
- The Mad Hatter: You have a regrettably large head! I would very much like to hat it!
- [the Executioner tries to take off the hat of the Mat Hatter at the beheading platform]
- The Mad Hatter: I'd like to keep it on.
- Executioner: Suit yourself. As long as I can get at your neck.
- Dodo Bird: [Watching Alice struggle with size changing] You'd think she'd remember all of this from the first time.