Jack's career at GE is on the line with Don Geiss in a coma, one of Liz's old flames comes back to town, and the guys confront the Teamsters on their sandwich day to get an extra sandwich for Liz.
- "30 Rock" - "Sandwich Day" - May 1, 2008
Jack is reading to Don Geiss about capitalism as he lays in the hospital, still in a diabetic coma. He tries to shock him awake by telling him Hillary Clinton is president. He tells him about Devin seizing power and installing Geiss' daughter as CEO. He calls Kathy a wonderful girl. Cut to Kathy trying to push open a Women's Room door that is clearly a pull door.
Jack is at his wits end, mentioning that he has been stripped of his office and has had to begin cutting his own cantaloupe. He's being moved from 52 to 12. He begs Geiss to wake up and starts to cry.
Liz walks into the writers' room and says the craziest thing happened this morning: she was on her treadmill and that her ex-bofyfriend Floyd called. Jenna is surprised Floyd called. Pete is surprised Liz was using her treadmill. She claims she uses it every day. Cut to Liz eating a parfait as she walks very slowly on the treadmill.
Floyd was in town for a meeting but his outgoing flight was canceled because of an impending storm and needs a place to stay. Liz wants to avoid dealing with Floyd because of the unfortunate call she made 8 months ago when another woman answered his phone. Jenna informs her that she needs to make Floyd believe she's doing great. Liz says she is doing great and says for once she wants to be Marcia instead of Jan Brady. She then gets hit in the nose with a ball and says "oh my nose" and says "see it's starting already." Liz sniffs the air and says "ooh sandwich day" and runs off. Frank is explaining the day to fellow writer Lutz. Once a year the teamsters go to a secret Italian sub shop in Brooklyn and bring back sandwiches with magical dipping sauce.
Jack is clearing out his office for Kathy who has a stuffed unicorn on her desk. He tells her "you know who hates unicorns? Mark Wahlberg," as he holds up Marky Mark's framed picture on her desk.
Jonathan is Kathy's assistant now and is aghast at Jack's move. Jack asks what else he can do. He's been "sleeping with the Cindy Crawford of corporations for 22 years and what am I supposed to do now, lie down with some skank like 3M?"
Jonathan asks what about Washington and his friends in the Bush administration? Jack scoffs saying he'd rather work for an American car company than go down with that sinking ship. Jonathan has made him a "Friends 4-Eva!!" collage as a parting gift. Jack refuses it and leaves, as he does Jonathan sings Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You."
Jack goes to the elevator and Liz catches up with him and notices him going to 12. He tries to cover and says he's going to 40...12 which is 52 which is where he works.
The writers are lamenting the end of sandwich day. Tracy, Frank and others notice that Lutz is still eating his and accuse him of savoring it. He says that's not it but that since his surgery he has to eat slowly or his insides will explode. They bully him into scarfing down the rest. As he cries "it's like knives," Tracy notices Liz's untouched sandwich on her desk. They know that taking Liz's food is bad. Flashback to Liz growling "where's my mac and cheese!" and upending the conference table. Tracy points out that as far as Liz knows her sandwich never came. They pounce. Kenneth sees them.
Floyd enters the studio. Liz, decked out in a smoking red dress responds to Floyd's compliment about her looking great by saying "do I? I'm pretty tired from playing as hard as I work." Above the stage Pete is directing flattering lighting and cues a fan to blow Liz's hair as she hands over her apartment key. Floyd thanks her. He asks her out to dinner. He leaves and she begs to be taken out of the dress because she can't breathe.
Liz enters the writers' room and notices the guys are working hard for once. She enters her office and a projectile immediately comes flying out as she walks out brandishing a pointy award statue screaming "where's my sandwich?" They all point fingers at each other. Kenneth blames himself because he let it happen and recites the famous Edmund Burke quote that all it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. Tracy tells Kenneth to "axe" his permission before he quotes him. Liz rubs the edge of her award against Kenneth's face and threatens that if he doesn't get her another sandwich she will cut him so bad that he'll have a chin. And then shouts to the room wicked-witch-style "you'll all have chins!" They're frightened.
Jack arrives on the 12th floor where the fluorescent lighting is fluttering and ugly people in ill-fitting clothes and eye patches lurk about. He tries to get back on the elevator.
He goes to the hospital and tells Geiss that it's snowing out and then starts screaming "wake up!!" in his face.
Liz and Floyd are walking up a snowy Riverside Drive and talking about the wacky effects of global warming. Floyd points out that a tornado in Cleveland last week "took out 3 bowling alleys, a liquor store and the liquor store museum." He asks if she wants dessert and she realizes with alarm that its 4:30. She hasn't been up this late since college. Flashback to Liz with a bad perm in bib overalls working on some kind of nerdy maze drawing involving trapdoors, "Orcs" and "Samir." Floyd's flight is in two hours and he has to go. He admits sometimes he really regrets leaving New York, times like now. Liz asks what New York has that Cleveland doesn't, noting that she's heard they're getting an IKEA. Floyd responds "yeah I'll believe it when I see it. We've just been burned before." He says it was great seeing her and gives her a kiss goodbye on the cheek. He hops in a taxi and takes off.
Back at the hospital Jack is drinking from a paper bag and talking to Geiss about trying to clear his head in the snowstorm. (He tried to catch a snowflake with his tongue but "apparently that's some kind of signal in Chelsea.") He asks for a sign about whether or not he should quit. A voice says "you have to leave." It turns out it's coming from an orderly behind him. He then says "you have to leave GE." Jack is confused. The orderly responds "geriatric extended care, that's what this wing of the hospital is called." Jacks ruminates on this "sign."
Back at Liz's place the alarm goes off and the news comes on talking about the freak snowstorm and a tornado in Detroit, which put out several fires. Liz pulls herself up to answer the phone. It's Jenna who wants to know how it went with Floyd. Liz gloats about how he said he wished he hadn't left NYC. She says the next time he hooks up with a "cornpone tranny" he'll be thinking of how awesome she was. She walks outside her door to pick up the paper and Floyd is standing there and sees her bed head, make-up free face and retainered teeth and screams "crone" and Liz hisses witchily in surprise.
Tracy, Frank, Lutz and Kenneth are plotting to get Liz her sandwich. Tracy figures as an international star the teamsters will feel honored that he's even talking to them. He walks into the Teamster office and does a little dance for them. Brian Dennehy is their leader and tells Frank and Lutz to kiss. Frank goes in for it but Lutz resists and says all they want is a sandwich or the name of the place. Dennehy asks why the sandwich place would want to be overrun by a bunch of sissies. (Dennehy is looking trimmer and sporting a fun little gray mustache.)
Lutz tries to commiserate that he knows what long-haul trucking is like since after his junior year at Oberlin he and his friends road-tripped to South by Southwest. Dennehy slams a bat down on his desk and tells him he has a lot of nerve and that they have to earn the knowledge of the sandwich shop's whereabouts in a competition. Kenneth hopefully asks "Bible trivia?" Dennehy responds drinking contest.
Back at Liz's apartment she hastily takes out her ponytail holder and retainer and asks why Floyd is back. Cut to Floyd at the airport being told that not just his flight but his airline is canceled. He apologizes for barging in. They laugh uncomfortably. Then Liz bursts out with "who was that bitch who answered your phone 8 months ago?" She asks what her lower back tattoo is, "a Chinese symbol she thinks means peace but actually says I have Chlamydia?!" Floyd is glad she asked and feels bad they never got to talk about it and didn't want to bring it up last night because they were having so much fun. Just as he's about to explain his cell phone buzzes (even though he has just said it was dead) and he sees that he can make a flight in 40 minutes. He decides talking with Liz is more important than his partner meeting with Peter Venkman. (Fun fact: that's the name of the Ghostbuster played by Bill Murray). She tells him to go but to call her. He says he will and goes.
In Jenna's dressing room Lutz, Tracy, and Frank are trying to convince her to compete in the drinking contest. She asks "what am I 12 and at my boyfriend's frat party?" They say they need her: Lutz can't drink because of his surgery; Kenneth won't drink (or gamble or drive on the freeway) because of his religious beliefs; Tracy can't because he still has his "Hollywood Sock" on (he says this while pulling up his pants to show off his alcohol monitoring device); and Frank can't because he's on antibiotics from digging around in his ear looking for his lucky penny. Jenna says she will do it "but only for the attention." Jack pops his head in to ask them to tell Lemon to find him on 12. They look at him askance and he says that of course that's a joke. They all laugh. Frank then asks if Jack can make the Teamsters tell them where they get the sandwiches. Jack replies "only if you beat them in a drinking contest, it's in their contracts."
Liz is power walking while singing Meredith Brooks' "Bitch" aloud along with her iPod. She runs into Floyd eating an ice cream cone on a park bench. He acts busted and admits there was no text for a flight, and that he does have one later but he just didn't want to talk about that stuff. Liz is hurt that he lied. He wants to fast forward to being friends again. She punches him and realizes he told her his cellphone was dead and makes the Peter Venkman connection, crying "You used Ghostbusters for evil!" He gets mad and says he honestly doesn't know what girl Liz is talking about and says he's single, a lawyer, and wears nice coats. "I'm the Michael Clayton of Cleveland." Liz retorts that she hopes his car blows up. (Like in "Michael Clayton"). He retorts that he asked her to move to Cleveland and she broke up with him. She says she'll move to Cleveland when they get an Ikea : "Never" and stalks off. He says angrily to her back "don't you deprive the good people of Cleveland an IKEA."
The drinking contest has commenced. Dennehy throws one back. Jenna begs the others for help saying she's had ten shots. They point out it's only been five. She clarifies that she means today. Dennehy says she fought a good fight but she can't win. Kenneth is sad.
Then in quick succession Frank finds his lucky penny, Tracy's monitor goes dead, and Kenneth observes that the shots smell just like "hill people milk" and they all commence helping Jenna drink.
A sandwich has appeared on Liz's desk and she wonders how they did it. Cut to the Teamsters office where Jenna is sitting on Dennehy's lap and the whole gang is slurring their way through "Danny Boy."
Jack catches up with Liz and asks why she's showing up to work at 6:30 p.m. She tries to say she was working from home and then spills the beans on the Floyd saga. Jack tells her to minimize regret- like the ones he has about not getting Geiss' offer in writing- and tells her she's young and hasn't blown it completely and tells her not to start now. Liz rushes off to the airport, sandwich in hand.
She goes to the ticket counter and buys a cheap ticket to get through security. Security won't let her through with the sandwich because the dipping sauce is more than 3 oz. Liz explains her predicament in needing to catch up to Floyd. The sassy black female TSA agent calls it a cliché. Liz calls her a cliché. TSA agent lady tells her to leave the sandwich. Liz hesitates and instead scarfs the sandwich down. TSA lady thinks choosing the sandwich over the guy certainly is less clichéd. Liz says she can have it all and eats the sandwich very quickly.
She finds Floyd and apologizes. Floyd apologizes and asks if they're friends now. He tries to give back her key and she tells him to keep it. Floyd rushes to his flight as Liz overhears the news coming from a nearby monitor: Jack Donaghy has been chosen by the Bush administration to become homeland security director of crisis and weather management.