Tony Soprano: It's in his blood, this miserable fuckin' existence. My rotten, fuckin' putrid genes have infected my kid's soul. That's my gift to my son.
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I know all this is difficult but I'm very glad we're having this discussion.
Tony Soprano: Really, really? 'Cause I gotta be honest, I think it fuckin' sucks.
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What does?
Tony Soprano: This. Therapy. I HATE this fuckin' shit! Seriously, we're both adults here, right? So after all is said and done, after all the complainin' and the cryin' and all the fuckin' bullshit... is this all there is?
Tony Soprano: I came here today to tell you, in all seriousness, that I'm done. I did what you said. I gave it a lot of thought and I decided, once and for all, it's over. The truth is this therapy is a jerk-off. You know it and I know it.
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I actually don't know it but please continue.
Tony Soprano: It's a jerk-off.
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Yes, you've said that.
Christopher Moltisanti: I look in her eyes, man, and she looks back at me...
Paulie Walnuts: How the fuck do I put myself up for adoption?
Christopher Moltisanti: What?
Paulie Walnuts: Nothin'. Go ahead.
Christopher Moltisanti: She ain't adopted Paulie.
Paulie Walnuts: I'm kiddin'. What were you sayin'?
Christopher Moltisanti: My point... What the fuck?... It's babies. They're the future. You realize by the time Caitlin's outta college it'll be like the year 2027 or somethin'.
Paulie Walnuts: She takes after you she won't be outta fourth grade by then. 'Course by that time she'll be workin' here so who gives a shit.
Carmela Soprano: It's better to have loved than lost, A.J. It's better to have loved and lost, A.J.
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano Jr.: [incredulous] What?
Tony Soprano: It is.
Christopher Moltisanti: You ain't seen this many cops lined up since the centennial of Dunkin' Donuts.
Carmela Soprano: You've heard the term "comfort food". Maybe it'll make you feel better.
Anthony Soprano, Jr.: I know this is hard for you to believe, but food may not be the answer to every problem.
Tony Soprano: Neither is acting like a whiny little bitch.
Tony Soprano: These fuckin' women, they'll drive you nuts with their emotions and whatnot. And I know it feels like you're never gonna love anybody again. But trust me, there's millions of girls that are dyin' to meet a guy like you. I see 'em every day.
Anthony Soprano, Jr.: Oh, right. I'm so special.
Tony Soprano: You're damn right you are. You're handsome, and smart, and hard worker, and - let's be honest - white. That's a huge plus nowadays... Go out and get a blowjob.
Anthony Soprano, Jr.: I don't want a blowjob!
Tony Soprano: Keep your voice down.
Anthony Soprano, Jr.: Why? Who's listening out there?
Tony Soprano: Nobody.
[Carmela opens the door]
Anthony Soprano, Jr.: Ah, fuck me!
Christopher Moltisanti: My friends have abandoned me. I've been totally fuckin' ostra-fied.
Stan: [Talking privately in a stairway] your boss is your uncle?
Christopher Moltisanti: Yeah.
Stan: That's got to add to the source.
Christopher Moltisanti: [Referring to Tony] we used to be some pair.
Stan: you produce movies? the stress is already too high.
Christopher Moltisanti: I have a happy marriage but there was a woman she worked with us in a club we had, she became a problem that had to be dealt with and I sided with him, but he never really appreciated it give, give, give, it's all I ever do.I think that's where our relationship got poisoned.
Tony Soprano: [sees Chris barbecuing] Oh, look at that wrist action! All those years yankin' it are finally startin' to pay off.
Christopher Moltisanti: [raises glass] To business.
Paulie Walnuts: You're goin' to jinx me? Toast with water?
Christopher Moltisanti: Club soda. What's your problem?
Paulie Walnuts: You got the problem, my friend. You're a real fuckin' drip lately.
Christopher Moltisanti: When I was usin', I was a disgrace; now I'm sober, and I'm a drip. The fuck you want from me?
Paulie Walnuts: How's about bein' normal? That so fuckin' hard?
Christopher Moltisanti: Actually, yeah, Paulie, for some of us it is.
Paulie Walnuts: Don't get cunty, I'm breakin' your balls... What do ya say we take a ride? A little prime rib, on me.
Christopher Moltisanti: Maybe next time.
Paulie Walnuts: What are you watchin' your cholesterol now too?
Christopher Moltisanti: Yeah. Fuckin' hilarious.
[gets up and leaves]
Christopher Moltisanti: You know, and I know, they were there to boost that shit.
Paulie Walnuts: It couldn't wait, OK? I promised a load to Lenny down the Joint Fitter's Union.
Christopher Moltisanti: What do I give a fuck? It ain't my union!
Paulie Walnuts: Lower your voice, I got neighbors.
Christopher Moltisanti: Fuck your neighbors! When are you gonna pay me?
Paulie Walnuts: When you suck the money out of my ass! Now get the fuck out!
Tony Soprano: What the fuck's with you?
Carlo Gervasi: Root canal, they got me on oxycodone. My whole fuckin' head is numb.
Tony Soprano: Well, that answers some questions.
Tony Soprano: You knock off early, we, uh, go back to your place, christen those new sheets you were telling me about.
Lori: The man with the plan, huh?
Tony Soprano: Uh, the man with the erection.