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Title: Machete (2010)
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| Cast overview, first billed only: | |||
| Danny Trejo | ... | Machete | |
| Robert De Niro | ... | Senator McLaughlin | |
| Jessica Alba | ... | Sartana | |
| Steven Seagal | ... | Torrez | |
| Michelle Rodriguez | ... | Luz | |
| Jeff Fahey | ... | Booth | |
| Cheech Marin | ... | Padre | |
| Don Johnson | ... | Von | |
| Shea Whigham | ... | Sniper | |
| Lindsay Lohan | ... | April | |
| Daryl Sabara | ... | Julio | |
 |
Gilbert Trejo | ... | Jorge |
| Ara Celi | ... | Reporter | |
| Tom Savini | ... | Osiris Amanpour | |
| Billy Blair | ... | Von's Henchman | |
The highly skilled Federale Machete is hired by some unsavory types to assassinate a senator. But just as he's about to take the shot, he notices someone aiming at him and realizes he's been set up. He barely survives the sniper's bullet, and is soon out for revenge on his former employers, with the reluctant assistance of his brother Cheech Marin, who has become a priest and taken a vow of nonviolence. If you hire him to take out the bad guys, make sure the bad guys aren't you! Written by rmlohner
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Of all the movies i have EVER seen in a theater.....i can say with no doubts in my mind, that the most fun i have ever had, was with 2007's "Grindhouse". It is cinematic fun at it's purest. It reminded me why it is still fun to go to the movies. So when i heard that they were making one of the fake previews into an actual full length feature, i became just as excited as i did 3 years ago.
Okay, just so i am clear with everyone......i am aware, and i appreciate the difference between "Dumb/Funny" and "Dumb/Dumb". And by that i mean it's funny when a movie is being dumb on purpose. I love it, and i laugh hysterically. A good example of this would be "Planet Terror" or "Evil Dead". But sometimes, the movie can get a little ahead of itself and not focus on making the story fun as well, which is a key element if you want your movie to be considered a fun "B" movie. "Machete" fell into the category of Dumb/Dumb.....which to me is a major disappointment.
Dare i say that the movie lost focus of actually being a "Grindhouse" movie? You bet i do. It was clear that Robert Rodriguez was aiming this story towards the recent events that are taking place in Arizona. By making stupid inspirational lines of dialogue that were not entertaining, but boring as all hell. Needless to say, it felt like a movie that was trying to make a political statement, as opposed to a cheesy drive-in action flick. Don't get me wrong, the movie had a few elements that would pop out and make you laugh, just like you were hoping for........but they were not at every turn. In fact, you were almost begging for them. And it was due to this........first off, i love Danny Trejo, and i think him as a main character is awesome......but he came off as so dull and lifeless, it was almost hard to root for him. Secondly, the action was fun, but it came in very small doses. Which is really surprising to me, because Rodriguez is normally a huge fan of blowing up everything.....and i thought he was going to go over the top with this one because, well, it's suppose to be a 70's type action flick. Instead, it just came off as dull and half witted.
Bottom Line......i gotta be honest, I'm a little upset with this one. I had really high expectations, and this movie fell way short of them. In my opinion, Rodriguez can't make sequels. To sum it up......he did the same thing to "Grindhouse", that he did to "Desperado". So if you actually liked the movie "Once Upon a Time in Mexico", then maybe you'll like this. But i gotta tell ya, it certainly isn't the Grindhouse spin-off i was hoping for.