The 59th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards

For years now, award shows have been ruined because the Winners are no longer allowed to give a proper acceptance speech. Soon as they get to the podium, they're faced with a countdown and if they don't finish before the time runs out, music plays. This is absolutely ridiculous, as I've said before. An award show should be about the Winners. Their acceptance speeches should be the focal point of the show. People who produce these shows have obviously lost sight of this fact over the years, unfortunately.

Last night's Emmy broadcast was worthless, plain and simple. Only 2 of the Winners managed to 'beat the clock' and the dreaded follow-up music with any amount of grace: Helen Mirren brilliantly sabotaged the process by making fun of it, and James Spader made jokes the whole time and when the music started, he said "Thank you" and got off.

Sally Field did not do as well. She was trying to say what was on her mind and got flustered when the stupid music began playing, so flustered that she forgot what she wanted to say. She got her train of thought back and then got bleeped because she used the "g" word. Very frustrating, for her and for everyone watching the show, I would imagine. I was frustrated for her.

They had time, however, for all sorts of lame-o musical numbers, attempted comedy repartee (the worst being the exchange between Colbert and Stewart - I think it was them, anyway - my eyes were glazing over by that point) - everything except the actual Winners accepting their actual awards. Enough already! Return these shows to the way they used to be, when the person winning could actually have a few minutes of glory up there, without the unnecessary pressure of a countdown clock and music.

Or if they're going to keep this obscene practice going, here's my suggestion for the upcoming Oscar presentation: have Gordon Ramsey stand in front of each Winner and deride him or her the entire time, as in, "Get off, you donkey! You've had your bloody time! You're worthless! Get off! GET THE #@$! OFF!!"

I realize that the reason this practice started in the first place was because, in the past, some people made acceptance speeches that were considered too long. I think these people are in the minority, however; I believe most professionals have an innate sense of how much time is appropriate when they're in front of a live audience making an acceptance speech. This is another classic example of how the powers-that-be are catering to the lowest possible denominator, to the detriment of everyone else who's either watching the show or actually there, attempting to gracefully accept their awards.