St Trinian's may market itself as a school for "young ladies" but, under the "leadership" of Miss Fritton, nothing could be further from the truth and anarchy is rife. Bank debts and the reforming agenda of a new Minister of Education put the school under threat though and, despite the many factions within the school, all must come together if they are to save the school and prevent them all being sent to a "proper" school by its closure.
Let me set out the scene here because I think it is important for you to understand "how" I saw this film to help you read my opinion in context. I'd had this film for a while on rental DVD but never really was too keen to see it and my girlfriend had zero interest. So one night she was away for work and I had been hanging out drinking too much beer and enjoying a taste of temporary single life. Cutting a long story short, I ended up tipsy and decided to watch this film for some silly laughs. So to say the least I was in the best state possible to forgive this film and enjoy it. So it says a lot that I found it tiresomely unfunny and entirely pointless.
The question of whether or not the world needed a St Trinian's remake was one that didn't concern me at the time but, thinking about it, it really doesn't. Originally the films were not that great but at least the issue of schoolgirl were made in a bit more innocent times and not a period where child abuse and the sexuality of children is a regular subject of headlines and concern. So it is not an easy watch with modern eyes to see women dressed as schoolgirls oozing stockinged sexuality all over the screen, pouting like there is no tomorrow. Not that I minded that too much in my drunken state but it was still not that comfortable to watch. Regardless though I was not here to make moral judgements but rather to laugh and this was the bigger problem there wasn't a single one to be had in the whole sorry affair. I could cope with the silly tone but this in itself is not "comedy" and, aside from the odd line here and there that was OK, most of it is just poor.
The cast can do very little other than embarrass themselves although they are very good at that. Everett, Firth, Fry and Brand do themselves no favours and other than the money I cannot see what attracted them to do it. The girls all pout and slink around the place but none of them are genuinely sexy even Karan is lifeless, a surprise considering she sent thrills through me in Darjeeling Limited. This is a real shame because, other than the supposed sex appeal of the majority of the cast, none of the "girls" offer anything else of value or interest.
That St Trinian's is rubbish will surprise few people but it really is a harsh judgement that even when drunk and looking for basic, easy fun it still managed to totally fail me. Unfunny, unsexy and totally unnecessary.
