Two and a Half Men (2003–2015)
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That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami 

Charlie tries to set up Alan with the sexy and rich new next-door neighbor who is looking to settle down. But when Charlie discovers her secret history as a drunken slut, he decides to go after her himself.


Gary Halvorson


Chuck Lorre (created by), Lee Aronsohn (created by) | 5 more credits »


Airs Fri. Mar. 01, 9:30 PM on IFC





Episode cast overview:
Charlie Sheen ... Charlie Harper
Jon Cryer ... Alan Harper
Angus T. Jones ... Jake Harper
Conchata Ferrell ... Berta
Brooke Shields ... Danielle Stewert
Deprise Brescia ... Vanessa (as Deprise D. Brescia)
Carly Thomas Smith ... Eva (as Carly Thomas)


Alan complains to Charlie that Jake had access to his computer with a 'saucy' movie, starring his present fling Vanessa. Berta refuses to buy the acidophilus (somehow healthy) milk Alan insists on. Jake's chucked-down skateboard proves a painful obstacle for Charlie everywhere in and around the beach house. Charlie's attractive, classy new neighbor Danielle is filthy rich since her divorce eight years ago, and the marrying kind. When Danielle asks for the same milk, Charlie hopes to match Alan to her so he can be free again, actively Cupid-coaches the romantic moron, and actually gets them dating repeatedly. Danielle admits to Charlie all her relationships failed because once drunk, she becomes a bisexual slut, twisted enough for the ladies-man to chase and steal her himself. After a glass too many, Danielle proposes a trio, the brothers refuse. Shopping in person for the damned milk, Charlie meets Eva... Written by KGF Vissers

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis


Comedy | Romance


TV-14 | See all certifications »






Release Date:

5 February 2007 (USA) See more »

Also Known As:

That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami See more »

Company Credits

Show more on IMDbPro »

Technical Specs


Sound Mix:




Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1
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Did You Know?


When Alan is showing Berta the acidophilus milk, the position of the carton in his hand clearly changes between shots. See more »


Alan Harper: [to Charlie] Because, there's only two reasons you *ever* set me up with a woman. Either you need somebody to keep the emotionally disturbed, or cross-eyed, or hermaphroditic best friend busy while you do the pretty girl, or... Ok. I guess there's just one reason.
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References The Godfather: Part II (1974) See more »


Two and a Half Men - Titelsong
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User Reviews

Beautiful Brooke
15 March 2016 | by jimreilly43See all my reviews

Funny, funny episode about sexy new neighbor Danielle played by the beautiful Brooke Shields. Brooke turns out to be quite the comedienne. Excellent work by her as she drinks up glasses of liquor while visiting her neighbors and before long is coming on to Charlie. Brooke has a body that is fantastic and she certainly is convincing as a sexy drunken slut. As usual one track mind Charlie is all about bedding anything that walks regardless if he was trying to set up his "roommate" Mainly for Brooke fans and she does deliver. Brooke must be in her glory now with the big emphasis on eyebrows lately. Other than Brooke run of the mill, Charlie trash.

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