Bobby Singer: You're bickering like an old married couple.
Dean Winchester: No, see, married couples can get divorced. Me and him? We're like, Siamese twins.
Sam Winchester: It's conjoined twins.
Dean Winchester: See what I mean?
Sam Winchester: [Being portrayed in Dean's recap] Dean! This is a very serious investigation. We don't have time for any of your blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah... blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. BLAH!
[Holds/draws out the last "blah"]
Sam Winchester: [In thereal life present time] I don't sound like that, Dean!
Dean Winchester: You do to me.
Sam Winchester: [after Sam discovers his laptop is missing] Dude, y'know, I put up with a lot from you.
Dean Winchester: Whaddya talkin' 'bout, I'm a joy to be around!
Sam Winchester: Yeah? Your dirty socks in the sink, your food in the fridge...
Dean Winchester: What's wrong with my food?
Sam Winchester: It's not food anymore, Dean, it's Darwinism!
Dean Winchester: [Voice over, telling Bobby what happened] What could we do? So, we just kept on digging.
Sam Winchester: You and this guy, Curtis, you were in the same house?
Frat Pledge: Yeah.
Dean Winchester: You heard what happened to him, right?
Frat Pledge: Yeah, he says it was aliens, but, you know... whatever.
Sam Winchester: [softly] Look, man, I... I know this all has to be so hard.
Frat Pledge: Uh, not so much.
Sam Winchester: [extremely sympathetic] But, I want you to know... I'm here for you.
[looking deeply into his eyes]
Sam Winchester: You brave little soldier. I acknowledge your pain.
[awkwardness grows as Sam reaches for him]
Sam Winchester: C'mere.
[Sam grabs the frat pledge in a bear hug and is close to tears as Dean looks away in discomfort]
Sam Winchester: Too precious for this world.
[cut to motel room]
Sam Winchester: I never said that!
Dean Winchester: You're always sayin' pansy stuff like that.
Sam Winchester: [trying to apologize] Um, I just want to say that I'm, uh, um...
Dean Winchester: Hey. Me too.
Bobby Singer: You guys are breaking my heart, could we please just leave?
Curtis: [In between shots] They, uh, they... probed me.
Dean Winchester: They probed you?
Curtis: Yeah! They probed me; again, and again, and again; and one more time.
Dean Winchester: Yikes.
Curtis: And thats not even the worst part.
Dean Winchester: What could be worse? Some alien made you his bitch.
Curtis: They made me slow dance.
[Dancing to "Lady in Red"]
Sam Winchester: How would you feel if I screwed up your Impala?
Dean Winchester: Would be the last thing you'd do.
Sam Winchester: What are you drinking?
Dean Winchester: I don't know, man. I think they're called purple nurples.
Sam Winchester: Dean, did you touch my computer?
Dean Winchester: Uh, no.
Sam Winchester: Eh, well, then why is it frozen at "bustyasianbeauties.com"?
[Dean smiles awkwardly and walks away]
Sam Winchester: Just... don't touch my stuff anymore, okay?
Dean Winchester: [yelling] HEY! Why don't you control your OCD?
Dean Winchester: You think this is funny?
Sam Winchester: Depends, what?
Dean Winchester: The car.
Sam Winchester: what about the car.
Dean Winchester: You can't let the air out of the tires, you idiot. You're gonna bend the rims!
Sam Winchester: Whoa, wait a minute. I didn't go near your car.
Sam Winchester: We should get help. I'll call Bobby, see if he ever ran into anything like this.
Dean Winchester: Oh I'm sure he has it's just your standard haunted campus, alien abduction, alligator in a sewer gig.
Dean Winchester: You have to give those purple nurples a shot... phew!
Dean Winchester: I mean, these punishments, there almost poetic. Actually, it'd be more like a limerick, but still...