2.6/10
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25 user 8 critic

Hooking Up (2009)

Unrated | | Comedy, Drama | 21 January 2013 (UK)
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In this over-the-top comedy, the relationships of three girls and fours guys - in affluent, adolescent suburban reality - intersect through the topsy-turvy world of love, power...and hooking up.

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
... Ryan Thompson
... Dr. Jordan
... Mr. Kimbal
... John Johnson
... Colin Winters
Allyson Muñoz ... April Winters
Ted Sangalis ... Tyler Smith
Leah Viens-Gordon ... Michelle Jordan
... Caroline Roberts
... Jess
... Tim
... Dave
Amy Deatrich ... Teacher
Lynn Mastio Rice ... Mrs. Jordan
Natasha Giliberti ... Laura - Party Girl #1
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Storyline

After "hooking up" with a series of guys at a house party, April is the talk of her high school. Her best friend Michelle, envious of all of April's attention, decides to try and follow in her footsteps and become more sexually forward. At the same time, their mutual friend Caroline has become so infatuated with her older boyfriend Ryan that she doesn't realize he's just using her. All the while, John, spends the week informing his two best friends, Colin (April's repressed and confused brother) and Tyler (the subject of Michelle's crush), about obscure sexual urban legends he reads about online, that just somehow end up managing to come true. Throw in the naive principal Dr. Jordan, who also happens to be Michelle's father, and Mr. Kimbal, a chemistry teacher trying desperately to dodge repeated seduction attempts from his students. Written by Anonymous

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

Chicks, cliques...and lipstick! See more »

Genres:

Comedy | Drama

Certificate:

Unrated | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

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Details

Official Sites:

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Release Date:

21 January 2013 (UK)  »

Also Known As:

Cluster  »

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Box Office

Budget:

$400,000 (estimated)
See more on IMDbPro »

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Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

After wrapping up a conversation, inviting a teacher to his cookout, Brian O'Halloran shouts "SCIENCE!" This was improvised after several takes. See more »

Goofs

When playing Scrabble, Michelle scores 37 points for "INFECTIOUS", but her real score would have been 88 points: 38 points for the letters (including the one "double word" and two "double letter" scores) plus 50 points for playing all seven of her tiles. See more »

Connections

Spoofs Clerks (1994) See more »

Soundtracks

I'll See You At The Bottom
Written and Performed by Step Forward
Courtesy of Reaction Records
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User Reviews

Like a porno movie, but without the porn
9 November 2014 | by See all my reviews

This looks like a 70's XXX porn movie where people without the budget or the any near approximation of the talent tried to make an actual narrative film and failed miserably. But the target audience didn't really care because, hey, it was porn. Like a porn movie, the actors in this are all WAY too old for the characters they play. Corey Feldman is supposed to be 25, but was about 40. And I'd guess all the "teenagers" are played by actors at least five or ten years older. Like a porno, the characters are all paper thin and the situations so absurd that this doesn't begin to make it as a serious drama. But if it's supposed to be a comedy, it's not funny, and some things are actually pretty damn unfunny (although the people getting offended or saying it should be "illegal" are overreacting a little).

The problem this movie has is it's NOT a porn movie. There are only a few boring boob shots of the three "teenage" actresses. Instead, it just tries to be REALLY outrageous, kind of like "Clerks", but it REALLY makes you appreciate the relative talent of Kevin Smith. Here you just have horribly misfired jokes about anal sex, incest, "virgins" who perform oral sex on everybody, "glory holes", "seagulling" (don't even ask), cocaine, girls being slapped around and called the "c word" that rhymes with "punt", and perhaps worst of all, washed-up 80's child actor Corey Feldman having sex with three different 15-year-old girls (OK, they're obviously not really 15, but still. . .). The other two name actors, Brian O'Halloran and Bronson Pinchot, manage to maintain what little dignity they had to begin with. O'Halloran plays a characters his own age (the school principal) and Pinchot plays a teacher who fends off one of the teenage girls after she slips off her thong after class and tries to seduce him (in an ACTUAL porno movie, she would certainly have succeeded).

This isn't good. It isn't so bad, it's good. But it IS bad in a horrible, slow-motion car crash kind of way. You can't easily look away (as much as you may want to), and you really have to wonder what was possibly go through anyone's mind here. I'd buy the theory of has-been actors and never-will-be filmmakers getting together to lure impressionable young actresses by making a "movie". But why actually put film in the camera? And why foist something on the public that will actually do MORE damage to your completely moribund career? This is SO bad it's actually kind of fascinating in a morbid way.


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