Veronica: Sir Cheats-a-Lot. How's business?
Max: It's like no one here wants to do his own work. I've actually brought in employees.
Veronica: Question. Does your team provide study guides for ethics exams?
Max: Every day. Yeah, the irony has kind of faded over time.
Veronica: So we're straight, this girl you love: you don't know where she lives, who she's marrying, or, if I understand correctly, her name.
Max: I know her first name.
Veronica: A triumph.
Veronica: The glass-is-half-full version: Chelsea's not getting married.
Max: Are you serious?
Veronica: Yeah. The half-empty version is... she's a hooker.
Brian: He wasn't a virgin?
Fred: We spent five hundred each on a hooker, and he wasn't a virgin?
Veronica: No, you spent five hundred each, and he's still a virgin.
Veronica: Wait, there really is a Mr. Happyfists? I thought that was just colorful language.
Veronica: When you rip off the breakaway pants, thrust your pelvis towards the bachelorette. Remember, its her special day.