David Goodman is on the pick of his career as a PR executive when he suddenly loses his chance for a big promotion and, unfortunately, his sight at a street attack. Soon after a message is ... See full summary »
A headstrong animal-rights activist group plans a raid on a bio-tech company to stop the cruelty. They discover the true nature of the experiments that are really taking place. As they ... See full summary »
A young women suffering memory loss and psychological issues after surviving a brutal attack, tries to piece together the clues surrounding her attack and its similarities to a series of ... See full summary »
Twisted, apocalyptic satire, THIS IS NOT A MOVIE envisions the end of the world through the bi-polar mind of a strung-out pop-culture addict. Starring Edward Furlong and Peter Coyote, with a jagged, atmospheric score from Slash.
Murder, mystery and mayhem as B movie fan, Adam Waltz, wins Walk on Role in a film Featuring Scream Queen, Cassie Blue. Thinking his luck had changed for the better he steps into chaos with a killer loose and no one on the production safe. Adams role gets bigger with the murder of an actress, studio chief's low-budget thriller becomes big with the new publicity... Everyone is a suspect. Who is the killer? Why are they doing this? and who is next?Written by
Pretty good if you like watching a drunk actor destroy himself
The plot: Furlong is a fat drunk that lives on a futon in LA. He apparently has no job and likes watching terrible horror movies. He is also creepy because he followed his girlfriend from Georgia or somewhere that has fake accents. At the beginning Furlong tries, but sounds like he's doing an Australian accent and then just drops it.
Lucky for him, he wins a contest and gets to be an extra in a horror movie (but it's a pirate movie?). When he meets the actors, they're all stuck up bitches except for the most famous one who falls in love with his doughy belly, jaundiced eyes, and puffy black sandbags that float under his eyes on that big chubby cheeked face of his.
At one point they go swimming together, but he won't take of his shirt because he has D-cup man-boobs. They then have sex and are in love. All the while everyone on the film is getting murdered and there are two cops (candyman and apparently a former prostitute) in all of LA that can handle the case.
Eventually nothing makes sense and Furlong is dark and mysterious and sexy and I totally bought the hot chicks interest in him. There's one good actor in the movie. He's an old guy and probably thought this was a serious film. He must be retarded because his dialog was apparently written by Christopher Reeves, after the accident.
I imagine this is how the script went.
Scene: Old man and candyman discuss the depths of man's soul while smoking Kools. Fat drunk actor meanwhile see's a dead women in the dailys. Hot chick loves fat drunk actor because he doesn't believe in showers or sleep. Ghost makes old man shoot himself in the head but the movie just will not end. Fat drunk actor who has sex with hot chick after being cast as an extra is suddenly a famous movies star and at the screening totally pisses of his ex-girlfriend and she makes a face like she farted and got poop got in her mouth. The curtain falls.
Overall I give it a ten.
8 of 16 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?
| Report this