Solely to get to a surfing girl, Charlie mounts his own board which had been gathering dust since he moved to Malibu, and nearly drowns at the first wave; he gets shark hallucinations and 'instinctively' tongue-kisses the burly lifeguard who resuscitates him mouth-to-mouth, but the worst thing is a vision of his dead father telling him to take care of mother Evelyn Harper. Alan first bitches dad didn't even mention him, but finally comes along to the dreaded dragon. She slips out to Alan his conception was a gas station condom accident, announces minor 'woman surgery' the next day and is invited to the beach house after what turns out to be plastic surgery, a fat transplant Jake calls 'her butt is in her lips'; in no time she angers both sons to despair again. Then Charlie finds out that 'father's voice' actually was just an old gangster movie on video, so when his life-savior asks him for a coffee, presumably eager for more French kissing...
Did You Know?
[Evelyn comes in with her lips grotesquely swollen
What happened to your mouth?
I just had a little procedure.
What kind of procedure?
They sucked some fat out of her ass, and shot it into her lips.
What did they do... use the *whole* ass?
References The Wizard of Oz
Two and a Half Men - Titelsong
(uncredited) See more