Header

Seriously, if you're rained in for the weekend while visiting mom this summer you should probably find something else to watch than HEADER. Or THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE, two post HOSTEL films of the new school of ultra-extreme horror & exploitation entertainment that are setting message boards across the internet abuzz. That people are talking about the film -- or chatting about it, whatever the right term -- justifies its existence. In a sick, demented, completely inappropriate way this is art, like it or not.

That doesn't mean everybody necessarily needs to see it, however. I kind of wish I hadn't. A lifelong lover of horror films including low budget gross out exploitation horror, this film went beyond the pale that I usually confine myself to. But it did so deliberately, with conviction, and had the courage to get down into the cesspool with its viewers. The idea wasn't just to repulse its witnesses, or titillate them, or to push the boundaries and limits of what's permissible. The film does that in the first fifteen minutes & never looks back. It eats up repulsive extreme torture porn for breakfast and regurgitates it back up for lunch, wolfing the filth and bile down a second time with a lip-smacking leer. Shocking its viewers was small potatoes.

I think one of the purposes of the film was to try and push the clock back on how low budget exploitation horror garbage was made; I was reminded of THREE ON A MEATHOOK, the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" films, and the despicable FORCED ENTRY (the first version, that is) as much as I was thinking of DELIVERANCE. Those treasure troves of human creativity were made back when filmmakers weren't obsessed with potentially alienating viewer demographics and went for broke. Likewise, HEADER manages to assail every creature on this Noah's Ark of human failure: Hillbillies, law enforcement, medical professionals, housewives, random people walking down the street, are more or less all devalued into human trash to be chopped up, shot, skewered, stabbed, beaten, whatever you can imagine and then some. The only person in the whole film with any genuine scruples is a drug dealer and even he buys the farm.

The barbarity of the movie's core premise also masks an interesting Tarentino-ish plot about an overworked idealistic ATF agent at the end of his rope whose life spirals out of control during the very gripping final twenty minutes. Which have nothing to do with perverted hillbilly psychopaths ... and yet it does, or rather has to do with the depths to which humans will descend for primal pleasures, a mythical attribute of the cinematic redneck harvested by DELIVERANCE. And the first half of the film serves as an extension of that film's second most famous scene. If you ever wanted to see what the deformed mountain men from DELIVERANCE might be doing back at their barnyard shack when not dry humping canoeists, here's your big chance!

Beyond that however it's an almost impossible film to recommend, a matter not helped by the shot on digital hand-held cam look the film is just as obsessed with as it is the sex & violence. After a while the technique becomes tiresome, as if the filmmakers were saying they were just too punk rock cool for a tripod, or that its storytelling too frenzied for simple pans & zooms. Sometimes they even move the camera deliberately just to show it isn't stuck in one place. The effect of a hand-held shot is best utilized when juxtaposed against more static camera positions in a way that involves the viewer in momentary bursts of action (see ALIEN from 1979 for a masterful example). Without anything to juxtapose it against the effect becomes a method and overpowers whatever visual language the cinematography was trying to employ.

There's also a duality to the film that seems like two different ideas welded together & given a fresh coat of paint that divides the movie into two acts: A first act that wallows in the urinal with the rednecks, and the second act where the ATF agent's ultra-bad day at work comes into play. The first part is more of what I call a Behavior Film where we get to witness various depraved behaviors put on display for our entertainment like a cartoon freak show. It is only when the plight of the agent takes center stage that the film concentrates on telling a story about events happening to people & becomes genuinely interesting. The standout scene being a jaw-dropping monologue by a veteran ATF agent (played by Jim Coope) who obligingly explains what a "header" is while spitting tobacco juice into a paper cup. I won't forget that speech anytime soon, and just like THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE can't help myself from wondering *how* anybody ever thought any of this up.

But still, for an in-your-face, all out assault on good taste you can do a lot worse. Sadly, this will probably make a great party movie, catering to low attention spans, bawdry crass humor, dumb cracker jokes (one of the only demographic groups along with fat guys still fair game to any manner of abuse a writer can hurl at them) and repulsive visual gags. I also like the goofy low budget approach with certain elements like the mail order ATF AGENT shirts that serve as a readymade costume for the feds. There's some good laughs to be had here for sure, though whether or not I would hang around such a party is a different matter. The idea of people actively enjoying this film is even more disturbing than its content, which may have been the ultimate goal.

5/10; As for mom? "Dark Shadows" box set. Never fails!

Oh my God...If you go to church, pick flowers, smile at babies, pet kitties, or generally think people are kind and good, then HEADER is not for you. I left the theater in NYC with a pit in my stomach. I couldn't believe what i saw. what a story! I had to talk to my friends about it the rest of the night just to cope with what I saw. I still tell people about it, which is why i'm here now typing this comment. It's got to be seen. Very original plot. The acting was great, good film-making for an indie. I read a bunch of great reviews on the film too since i saw it, and these reviewers are as excited as i am about it. A desperate ATF officer, drug running, violent hillbillies, a sadistic legless old man in a wheelchair, the brutal act of Headers and a conclusion that surprised me and the gang I was with...It had to be the craziest flick i've ever seen. Edward Lee and Archibald Flancranstin are both going to hell.

See ya there.

This horror film containing a campy sense of humor similar to Sean of the Dead, although with surprising depth is a must see! The controversial themes and definition of a HEADeR is reason enough to check this film out. WARNING... it is so disturbing you won't believe your eyes. The special effects and scoring are fantastic for a low budget indie, true guerrilla film-making at its best. But listen close to Grandpap, the funniest paraplegic white cracker that will make you pee your pants... I promise you don't want to miss a single line! The writing is unbelievably catchy, unconsciously you'll find yourself repeating one liners to your friends and family! Do your self a favor and see this film, a new and innovative movie never done before. You won't be disappointed!

I'm giving this film 1 star not only because it's a terrible movie, but also to show my contempt for people who create fake accounts just to elevate the grades of lousy movies they worked on, or have friends who worked on. Click on the names of every person who posted a positive review of this movie, and you'll see that "Header" is the only film they've reviewed on IMDb. (except one guy who later posted a review of a childhood favorite) These accounts are fake. These positive reviews are all fake. And that absolutely infuriates me. IMDb is such a great way to discover really good obscure films, and jerks like this take advantage of it, create fake accounts claiming that their film is a masterpiece, and ruin the whole experience for all of us.

As for me, this is my first "review" on IMDb and may actually be my last. I specifically created this account because the fake "Header" reviews irritated me so much.

Archibald Flancranstin first flick as a director, made in 2006, immediately got some attention due the reason 'what's a header'. Well, I know and I must say that I wasn't disturbed by it. I guess it must be me by reading all those reviews as one of the most disturbed flicks ever. The idea is okay, but for me it was never gory or as demented as stated elsewhere. After a while I even got a bit bored by the scene's between grandpap and his grandson. The header scene was okay the first time but after a while...Luckily there's another story going on about ATF Agent Stewart Cummings. He's going from researching the header victims towards a world of corruption. The conclusion of his life is the best part of this flick. The effects used for the 'header' are well done as are the shootings of the victims. But overall, after all the fuss about Header I was left with a HEADache.