Sir Billi (2012) Poster

(2012)

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1/10
Sean Connery deserved a much better comeback than this!
TheLittleSongbird19 September 2013
Were there reasons in the first place to see Sir Billi? Yes, that it was Sean Connery's comeback, that there are some talented actors on board and that it was billed to be the first animated film to be done entirely in Scotland. Avid fans of the animation medium would find a further reason to see it. It's a shame that such a great and charismatic actor like would comeback with a film that is a contender for the worst film of his career, certainly the worst animated film of 2013 and the worst I've seen in a while.

The only redeeming qualities are the striking Bond-style opening sequence and Dame Shirley Bassey's singing, nice song and she sounds great. You'd think that Connery would elevate things as well, sadly while it was nice to hear him and his distinctive voice his talent is wasted by being given little to do, it makes one wonder what made him break his retirement in the first place. The rest of the cast aren't much better, they lack energy and some of the accents are cringe-worthy.

And there's no better news with the animation, which is really quite bad. The characters are very plastic-looking and the colours are garish. It often looks very freaky-looking as well. The music is not bad-sounding but is not used well, like some lines it can be out of place, and the Bond references were completely pointless, adding absolutely nothing to the story. Were they paying homage to Connery by any chance?

Sir Billi is a very poorly-written film too. The dialogue as a whole is uninspired and unremarkable, ruined further by that it seems to have no idea who it's aiming at. There is a lot of smut and innuendo which will go over kids' heads, if they were trying to widen the target audience they failed at that. Even worse is that not only is the use of it overkill but even adults won't find it funny at all and will find it distasteful instead. The story is dull and incoherent, and filled with too many characters that serve little if anything to the telling of it. Regarding the characters here too, if you are trying to find any to root for, good luck, that certainly didn't happen with me(you might think differently though).

Overall, from a personal subjective opinion Sir Billi was dire with very little good about it. Considering the potential it had it was really disappointing too, Planes and Justin and the Knights of Valour were underwhelming films with some potential, but Sir Billi's potential was even bigger(being Sean Connery's comeback and claiming to be the first animated film from Scotland) and fell flat on its face even harder. 1/10 Bethany Cox
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1/10
This will leave you physically nauseated
bbshockwave16 January 2017
I cannot believe the too high rating of this movie now. My only guess is, all the people who worked on it, and all their families are up-voting it daily. I only learned of it existing now, because it has been rightfully forgotten otherwise since its 2012 release. I had to check the company's website twice to actually confirm that Sir Sean Connery not only acted in this, but was the producer! My only guess is, this being the first Scottish animated movie, he wanted to support his homeland. He should have checked whom he gave his money...

In short,the animation is so ugly with such horrifying character models that I actually felt sick just by watching these... "humans" walk around and talk. The men all have weird pear-shaped heads, while what goes for women look like chimpanzee-faced trolls with exaggerated butts and boobs, and you don't want to see them do a sexy dance... yet that's what they do right in the horrible James Bond ripoff opening. Animals don't look any better, most of them have the exact same model, so a beaver looks the same as a rabbit, just without the ears and with a beaver tail.

The story, if you can call it that, is that two policemen steal a truckload of beavers... for some reason. In a world where animals can talk with humans and wear clothes... is that slavery and kidnapping? And as one beaver kid escapes and is raised by rabbits, the corrupt London cop for some reason makes it his life's mission to hunt him down. Then we cut to our "hero", Scottish noble Sir Billi who is a skateboard-riding grandpa vet and has a pet talking goat called Gordy hanging around with him, who constantly dresses like Uma Thurman from Kill Bill. Confused yet? Good! It does not get any better, with stupid rabbit games of sliding down hills tied to giant logs that naturally cause the beaver and some rabbits to almost die in the river, some American goons and a local Scottish corrupt noble showing up, a Russian sub emerging from the sea, and the most "important plot" of Sir Billi wanting to get into the pants of the "sexy" American sister of the local chimpanzee-woman.

This was expanded from a 2006 short into a full 1 hour 40 minutes movie, and it shows, because barely anything happens in it. It has a surprising amount of VA and singer talent attached to it, I can only guess out of love for their homeland or pity, but this should have never been made. It looks like "A Car's Life" or "What's Up" or any of the other terrible Disney-ripoff dime a dozen cash-ins, and Sean Connery should have considered what he agreed to fund and star in. I don't recommend watching this, except maybe to riff it.
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1/10
Sir Billi
jboothmillard6 September 2020
Warning: Spoilers
The great Scottish actor and former James Bond star retired from acting in 2006, three years after his role in the awful film The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, but he did return once or twice for voice acting roles. He returned to the role of 007 for the video game From Russia with Love, and his most recent role was in this cartoon, Scotland's first CGI animated feature. Basically, in the west coast highland village of Catterness in Scotland, many animals are being murdered by a team of villainous policemen, including Officer McKenzie (Ford Kiernan) and Officer McTavish (Greg Hemphill). One of the animals to escape captivity is illegal fugitive, Bessie Boo the beaver (Valentina Hartmann), who was raised by rabbits and is now on the run. Meanwhile, Sir Billi (Sir Sean Connery) is the eccentric retired veterinarian of the remote village, respected and adored by the townspeople. He relies on a number of gadgets and his skateboard to get him through the day, as well as his companions, including Gordon (Alan Cumming), a goat who believes he is a dog. When Bessie comes along and asks for Sir Billi's help, he is thrown into an adventure that will take him across treacherous ravines and hazardous waters. Along the way, he encounters many other characters, including American oddball Patty Turner (Ruby Wax), aristocrat Lady Serena Sedgewick (Larry Sullivan), temptress baroness Chantalle McToff (Miriam Margolyes) and her husband Baron McToff (Taggart's Alex Norton), an Admiral (Patrick Doyle) who is afraid of water, and plucky pilot duck Vicky (Regina Reagan). In the end, Sir Billi saves the day and is praised as the "Guardian of the Highlands". Also starring Barbara Rafferty as Bessie's Mom, Elliot Doyle as Master Jake, Jamie Still as Wee Dave the rabbit, Amy Sacco as Toni Turner, Ford Kiernan as Banjo Barry, and John Fortune Fraser as Uncle Red. I question if Connery knew what he was getting into when he provided his voice, along with other talented stars like Cumming and Margoyles? I'm not surprised this has got a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes; it is abysmal. The animation is charmless and awful quality, the script and plot, including animals talking and predictable dialogue, is terrible, the attempts of humour, including James Bond jokes, are unfunny, the Dame Shirley Bassey song accompanying the Bond-style opening sequence, is wasted, and it just feels rather creepy and cringy. This is definitely up there with the worst cartoon movies I have ever watched, a truly atrocious animated adventure. Very poor!
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1/10
Wow....
mkbordner18 March 2020
This has got to be the worst film I've ever seen. The animation is difficult to look at. The characters are rather creepy (why exactly does the goat wear clothes and talk??). And the story, what there is of it, makes little to no sense.
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1/10
Sean Connery didn't deserve this
joshuajteller1 November 2020
Rest In Peace Sean Connery you deserved a much better end to your career then this movie. May your legacy not be defined by this movie but by your amazing work In other films 😔
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2/10
This is computer animation hell
xanderblue-1217830 August 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Story 2/10 Animation 1/10 Characters 3/10 I walked out of this in the 13 minutes of the movie.
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10/10
Never Been More Shaken...
christianvols19 November 2019
A very powerful film dealing with complex issues like coming to terms with aging, police brutality, and animal abuse. While kids may find these thematic elements surprising, you'd be wise to force your kids to watch it, as it'll open their naive eyes to the way the world truly is: broken.

In the introduction to our protagonist: "Sir Billi", whose royal title juxtaposing with his dirty and worn attire, says a thousand words in an image I DARE you to find duplicated in some overly pretentious "cinema" like Citizen Kane. It is in this simple yet powerful depiction of riches turned to rags that unlocks the world that the characters of this movie inhabit. Not even wealth can bring you happiness, nor friends, nor family as indicated by Sir Billi's emotional coldness towards his daughter and grandson as he abandons his direct family for the companionship of an anthromorphic goat. The only thing that can you bring you happiness in the world of this film is the somber realization and acceptance that the only guarantee in life is death. Billie tries to warn the animals of this fact, but seeing as they are animals, they barely listen, which is in itself, a clever allegory for the real truth seekers out there pointing out the faults in today's modern society while the sheep are content with just feeding upon the grass of lies and discontent.

In a cold world that not even Scorsese could fully realize in Taxi Driver, Billi, in the twilight of his years, finds his only meaning in the metaphorical breaking of his shackles which were thrusted upon the common people by the strong arm of the law. Billi threatens a police officer with his own brute force, promising to "give him one", and allows Billi to reject the claim that police lives truly matter. In this film, no life matters more than the other, because the filmmakers in a genius way show us that life truly has no meaning except the one we assign it to. We hear of Billi's past adventures but we never see them. Are they the wistful and somber recollections of an old rapscallion wishing for the days of old? Or are they indicative of an ever darker theme rearing its ugly head? The filmmakers are supremely genius for never outright mentioning Billi has dementia, but leaving it open to interpretation, something even Kubrick wouldn't dare leave open-ended.

In the end, Sir Billi is really about the human condition and the flaws within us all. I find it to be a more revealing film each time. With its subtle storytelling techniques and intelligent characters, I couldn't think of a better film for Connery to close the curtains on his illustrious career. Himself now a mirror image of Sir Billi: A broken man, trying to find meaning in the twilight of his years in a world that has passed him by.
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1/10
My nation didn't deserve this abuse.
worldsworstwryter17 January 2022
This movie is the worst thing that has ever happened to my beautiful country. Honestly it was painful for me to even sit through it, but somehow I endured the torture.

I've never been so insulted in my life. : (
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1/10
This movie sucks
srmorin22 November 2020
This movie fricken suck so bad that's all you need to know
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9/10
"aye've sheen things you peeple woodnt believe..."
zanzibarslimm3 June 2020
Warning: Spoilers
A surprisingly somber character study into a man past his prime, trying to skateboard from the ghosts of his past. Our protagonist holds a mirror to the society we live in and makes it hard to look away. A piece of film for true cinephiles but punctuated with enough humor to appeal to a wide audience. Although some of the more intense, psycidelic scenes might be too much for un-initiated; it is certainly worth the trip. Not bad for the first animated film produced entirely in Scotland and the last film of Sir Connerys' career
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1/10
If I could I will put it 0 stars!
pipecano26 February 2021
Don't even watch this movie, you will THROW UP! , I AM NOT KIDDING, YOU WILL REALLY THROW UP! Rating: 0.5/10.0
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1/10
I pity Sean Connery and everyone who saw this movie
o-25601-7450921 March 2022
I created an account just to review this. I am convinced that I died pressing play on this movie and the whole thing was the hell that awaited me in the afterlife. I have no clue why some people painfully subject themselves to this. This movie has a non-sensical plot, boring characters and absolutely horrendous visuals. I'm convinced that 70% of the budget was on Sean Connery, 1% for the animation and 29% crack for the production team. 0/10 would not recommend.
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10/10
Anime Masterpice
BabyDexter444425 September 2021
To Be Fair, You need a High IQ to understand the complex themes of Sir Billi, it's 100% Scottish, and is so smart, that only intellects like I, can understand it.

It's also 100% better than "The Loud House" movie.
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