3.1/10
2,323
38 user 26 critic

Ice Spiders (2007)

R | | Horror | TV Movie 9 June 2007
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When a young ski team training for the Olympics arrives at the remote and isolated Lost Mountain Ski Resort to focus on training, they're thrilled to find a retired Olympic skier is there ... See full summary »

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
... Dan 'Dash' Dashiell
... Dr. April Sommers
... Capt. Baker
... Prof. Marks
Noah Bastian ... Chad Brown
Carleigh King ... Brittany
... Frank Stone
Matt Whittaker ... Steven
Clayton Taylor ... Quintin
... Coach Mike
... Coach Palmer
Kiernan Ryan Daley ... Rosen (as Kiernan Daley)
... Perez (as Cory McMillian)
... Mrs. Stewart
... Mr. Stewart
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Storyline

When a young ski team training for the Olympics arrives at the remote and isolated Lost Mountain Ski Resort to focus on training, they're thrilled to find a retired Olympic skier is there to help them train. But their plans are halted when a scientist working at a nearby government lab arrives with the horrifying news that a top secret Government project has produced giant spiders and they have escaped, killing and eating everything in sight. Written by Deeww

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

Hell Has Just Frozen Over.

Genres:

Horror

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for creature violence | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

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Details

Official Sites:

Sci Fi Channel

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|

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Release Date:

9 June 2007 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Cold Snap  »

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Box Office

Budget:

$2,000,000 (estimated)
See more on IMDbPro »

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Technical Specs

Runtime:

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Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

SSG Kevin Marquardson was the military advisor for this film. See more »

Goofs

April states they did their research in Utah because the cold weather was a natural barrier to any potential spider escape, but surely the military could find someplace colder. High temperatures in the Utah mountains often exceed 50 degrees in the summer. See more »

Quotes

Johnny: Take that, Army dudes! We don't need you to kick spider butt.
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Soundtracks

Itsy Bitsy Spider
sung by a soldier
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User Reviews

 
Without question the most gloriously awful movie I've ever had the honor of seeing
10 June 2007 | by See all my reviews

And, if you don't mind my saying so, I've been around. I've seen the legendary "Plan 9 From Outer Space," as well as a whole host of network TV films ("Locusts," "Vampire Bats," "Category 6," "Category 7," "Fatal Contact," whatever the sequel to "10.5" was called) and I stand here before you today to say that cable proves that you don't have to be a venerable broadcast giant to really, really stink.

The plot of the movie is that some government scientists engineer giant spiders in order to harvest their silk for Department of Defense purposes. The only problem is that one of the scientists tampers with the experiment, the spiders get out, and it's up to a fleet of B-actors to stop them or flap on the ground in a spot where a giant spider will later be edited in killing them trying.

This movie enters a qualitative threshold that I did not know could exist. You see, once a film reaches a certain level of "awful," the people involved start to notice (as evidenced by the tongue-in-cheek extra-low budget Adult Swim shows "Saul of the Mole Men" and "Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job"). Somehow, the cast of Ice Spiders was unaware of the lousiness of the film they were making. The only kind of television I've ever seen in my life - which has probably been shortened substantially by the cumulative doses of TV movies I've had over the years - that could rival "Ice Spiders" for quality are commercials made by regional furniture dealerships. Speaking of commercials, kudos to Orkin for their advertising during the world premier of this "film." The computer effects appear to have been designed with software from the 1980s, the acting is beyond awful - and I mean that seriously; some of this comes off like the actors were cold-reading the script - and the overall premise defies description. Thank God I taped it, because somehow I just know that this film can only be enhanced by VHS static lines.


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