- Jack: I wonder if the three of us would've been friends in real life. Not as brothers, but as people.
- Jack: Which direction did your's go?
- Francis: What do you mean?
- Jack: Your feathers... mine blew toward the mountains
- Francis: That's not right. It's not suppose to get blown away. You're suppose to blow on it then bury it.
- Peter: I didn't get that. I still have mine.
- Francis: You guys didn't do it right. I asked if you read the instructions. You did it wrong... I tried my hardest. I don't know what to do.
- Peter: I don't think Dad would've hated it.
- Francis: I only remember certain details, but from what I've been able to reconstruct, it was raining, I was going about 50 miles an hour as I went into a corner, did some wrong steering, wheels went out from me, and suddenly, "Whoo", skidded off the road, slammed into a ditch and got catapulted 50 feet through the air. Little particles of glass and debris were stinging my face as I flew. And for a second, there was just total silence. Just... Then BAM! The bike crashed to the ground, exploded and caught on fire, and then I smashed into the side of a hill with my face. I was driving home. I live alone right now. Anyway, two joggers ran up and started digging out all the dirt that was jammed inside my mouth and my nose and my ears. My brain had stopped, and my heart had stopped, so technically I was dead at this point. They did all the procedures exactly right, as a result of which I'm still alive.
- Jack: Boy.
- Peter: Wow.
- Francis: The first thing I thought of when I woke up was, I wish Peter and Jack were here.
- Peter: What about our snake?
- The Chief Steward: It's dead.
- Peter: He killed it?
- Jack: It's got to be against his religion or something.
- Francis: He has this disease where his head is shaved except he doesn't have to shave it because he can't grow any hair in the first place. Don't talk about it around him though. It might offend him.
- Jack's Ex-Girlfriend: Whatever happens in the end, I don't want to lose you as my friend.
- Jack: I promise I will never be your friend, no matter what, ever.
- Jack's Ex-Girlfriend: If we fuck, I'm gonna feel like shit tomorrow.
- Jack: That's okay with me.
- Francis: You're the two most important people in the world to me. I've never said that before, but it's true, and I want you both to know it. I love you, Peter
- Peter: Thank you.
- Francis: I love you, Jack.
- Jack: I love you, too.
- Francis: How did it get to this? Why haven't we spoken in a year? Let's make an agreement.
- Peter: To do what?
- Jack: Okay.
- Francis: A: I want us be become brothers again like we used to be and for us to find ourselves and bond with each other. Can we agree to that?
- Peter: Okay.
- Peter: Yeah.
- Francis: B. I want us to make this trip a spiritual journey where each of us seek the unknown, and we learn about it. Can we agree to that?
- Jack: Sure.
- Peter: I guess so.
- Francis: C. I want us to be completely open and say yes to everything even if it's shocking and painful. Can we agree to that?"
- [Peter and Jack cock their heads and look at each other. Francis simply continues]
- Francis: Now, I had Brendan make us an itinerary
- Peter: Who's Brendan?
- Francis: My new assistant. He's gonna place an updated schedule under our doors every morning of all the spiritual places and temples that we need to see and expedite hotels and transportation and everything.
- Patricia: God Bless You and keep you with Mary's benevolent guidance in the light of Christ's enduring grace. All my love, Your Mother, Sister Patricia Whitman.
- The Rolling Stones: Don't play with me, 'cos you're playing with fire.