Ashton Kutcher credited as playing...
Reed Bennett
- Julia Fitzpatrick: What do you do with the flowers?
- Reed Bennett: You know the ones that nobody wants?
- Julia Fitzpatrick: So you're giving them a second life?
- Reed Bennett: Yeah, most chaps throw them away. I like the idea that tomorrow somebody's going to see them floating by, wonder where they come from, behind the mystery of it all. I used to, actually, put them together and practice new designs with them and drop them off at a random doorstep with notes in it: "Somebody out there loves you". And they get to thinking, "What if they found out that somebody me? Would they want me to be the one that loves them?"
- Julia Fitzpatrick: I would... want that.
- Alphonso: You don't step in to love, you fall in. Head over heels. Have you ever seen someone fall head over heels in love? It's ugly, bro. Toxic, septic.
- Reed Bennett: How did you and your wife get it so right?
- Alphonso: Easy, I married my best friend!
- Reed Bennett: I thought I was your best friend.
- Reed Bennett: When I was a kid, most of the advice that my dad gave me was crap. But there's one thing that he said that was pure genius... he said, if you're ever with a girl that's too good for you, marry her.
- Reed Bennett: There's this girl.
- Oversized Baggage Agent: Oh don't tell me, that'll take the fun out of guessing. Let's see, this is gonna be a tough one, there's a very pretty girl and she's about to get on a big airplane and if you don't stop her, she'll never know how you really feel.
- Reed Bennett: Not exactly.
- Oversized Baggage Agent: What am I missing?
- Reed Bennett: If she gets on the plane, she's gonna find out the hard way that the guy that she thinks she's in love with is a spineless lying creep!
- Oversized Baggage Agent: That's no good.
- Reed Bennett: No, it is no good. And I can't let that happen. Because this girl, she is great! She's like... like sunshine. Everything is better when she's there. I can't stand the idea of some jerk hurting her, I just can't. I can't.
- Reed Bennett: That's what I'm doing here. Because apparently everyone and their mother felt that way but nobody had the guts to tell me. And now, I'm left with some stupid ring and an empty closet and an ache in my gut the size of Texas because nobody told me.
- Reed Bennett: Did you even consider marrying me?
- Morley Clarkson: Of course I did... but when you ask a girl to marry you, do you want her to just consider it? Or do you want her to just know?
- Reed Bennett: You don't keep inklings to yourself! You share them! You're like hey guy, I got an inkling you're headed for a fall here! That's what friends do, that's common knowledge, it's in the damn handbook!
- Morley Clarkson: And then there's the whole thing with my parents' horrible...
- Reed Bennett: Your parents, wait, hold on, wait a second, just because your parents had a bad divorce doesn't mean that you're going to have a bad divorce. They're not hereditary, it's not like it's contagious.
- Morley Clarkson: You're not getting it. You know the first phone call I made after you proposed was to my office, to confirm my ten o'clock meeting.
- Reed Bennett: What's the greatest love song of all time?
- Alphonso: "Rock and Roll All Night," by Kiss.
- Reed Bennett: That's a stripper song.