Scary Movie V (2013) Poster


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Don't expect much.
Sleepin_Dragon22 April 2019
It's fair to say that it is the worst of the series, it's let down by some really awful scenes, and some dire performances, but, it still has some of the old magic, and a few times I did find myself laughing. The scene between Sheen and Lohan was perhaps the worst thing I have ever seen, it was appalling, almost like an attempt to replicate the Pamela Anderson scene, but it was just terrible. The Black Swan scenes were lots of fun, and nicely produced, they felt at odds with lots of the film.

Is it the case that people's humour has changed since the early films, or were the jokes simply not funny? Personally I think it's the latter, in fairness though it isn't as if there were great horror movies to parody.

It's poor, but will still give the odd chuckle. 5/10
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I almost regret not walking out of the theater.
naregian13 April 2013
The era of spoof and parody is dead.

Let me start off by saying that I knew this film was going to be horrible from the start. I had read reviews and knew it was bad, but being so infatuated with film and theater, I actually wanted to see the movie to diagnose exactly what made it so horrible. (Insult me if you must, but I have a lot of free time on my hands and I love all kinds of movies.)

I'm not gonna lie, I went into the theater with the hope that on some slight chance, I would enjoy the film. Wrong. The movie was so boring and tasteless that I was actually distracted with my phone for some parts during the film, which is of the utmost rarity for me.

The horrible acting and line delivery dried this film out so much that I don't know where to begin. Ashley Tisdale was definitely not as good as Anna Faris was, and obviously, everyone will compare the two. I hate to admit it, but Mac Miller, Snoop Dogg, and Katt Williams all could have made audiences laugh with the material they were given, but were just too dry.

Admittedly, there were some very rare parts of the movie that had a somewhat witty humor to it, but it was only once or twice, and weak at that. The rest of the stupid slapstick humor was just so lame and dragging. Slapstick humor should stay within the PG level of humor for the kids.

On that note, the movie had overly crude, and just STUPID sexual humor that was just stupid and weak. Even hard R teenage sex comedies are more sophisticated than this. I laughed maybe one time, and it wasn't even a laugh. I kinda exhaled sharply while smiling.

Overall, there was almost no sophisticated or witty humor, horrid acting, and it was all just plain bad. So yes, the reviews are correct, it was horrible. The only reason I give it a 3 instead of a 1 was because hundreds and hundreds of people put months and months of work into an 85 minute piece of what they thought was art, and giving a movie a 1 or maybe a 2 is too disrespectful to the art that is film. (But then again, this movie is pretty disrespectful to the art that is film as well.)
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Terrifying in all the worst ways.
Jonathon_Natsis17 May 2013
It is almost inconceivable to imagine how much effort a group of people would have to put into making a film as bad as Scary Movie 5. The latest instalment in the series of lazy spoofs, not including some unforgivable side projects including Date Movie and Epic Movie, this film offers virtually nothing to its audience, insulting their intelligence for an hour-and-a-half with perhaps the worst collection of blatantly uninspired and recycled gags ever put to celluloid.

The film's horrendous excuse for a plot centres on a suburban wife (Ashley Tisdale) and her dimwitted husband (Simon Rex) moving into a haunted house with their possessed adopted children. From there, the film brings its staple of parodying the biggest blockbusters of the last few years, but does so without a semblance of relevance, creativity or wit.

It says a lot about the film that the only half-laughs to be had come from Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan sharing the opening scene- an incredibly stupid and borderline cringe-worthy, but inexplicably entertaining chuckle at their fall from grace.

It's all downhill from there, though, as the rest of the film plays out as a series of unconnected set pieces seen literally hundreds of times before. Often, such an unappealing movie is still able to salvage some hope by suiting itself for a target market, but it is hard to see any audience group, from 15 year-olds to stoners, defending this abomination.

One would have to drink Lindsay under the table, smoke copious amounts of bud with Snoop Dogg and/or Lion and snort pure tiger blood with Charlie to even come close to drawing any semblance of enjoyment from this disaster. An imminent sweep of this year's Razzies doesn't seem like ironic punishment enough for one of the worst films ever made.

*There's nothing I love more than a bit of feedback, good or bad. So drop me a line on and let me know what you thought of my review. If you're looking for a writer for your movie website or other publication, I'd also love to hear from you.*
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I like all of them
cherold2 September 2013
I like the Scary Movies; all of them. Yes, this one and the one preceding it are probably the weakest of the series, but I still laughed a lot. It's just silly, unapologetically stupid comedy.

It's also a series I just have to watch regardless of what people say, because for the entire series, people are been declaring it horrible and not worth watching. Even the first one, which is acknowledged as the best of the series, was viciously slammed when it came out.

As with all the movies in the series, it's very hit and miss. Sometimes it's laugh out loud funny, sometimes it's just unpleasant.

My biggest objection to this one is some of the racial stereotyping. It's not just that racial stereotyping is not a good thing, but that at this point it's been so played out that it's not remotely funny.

Still, overall, I laughed a lot.
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Warn others not to see it!
xdex_corex13 April 2013
I will start off by saying I LOVE the Scary Movie franchise, especially scary movie 3. My girlfriend and I went to see it on the 12th, we were so excited because we both love the previous films. 5 to 10 minutes into it, neither of us were laughing, just straight face. I whispered over to her and told her this is really stupid, she agreed. None of other people that were sitting in the room laugh either. I can't believe we actually sat through the whole movie until the end, since we paid for it already. It had like 3 moments that made us chuckle a bit, but that was it. If I could demand my money back, I would. Little note for the producers- Instead of paying huge amounts of money to the celebrities, how about spend some in developing the story and jokes? I would say this movie *might* make little 10 years old children laugh, but that's about it.

It was so bad that I decided to make an IMDb account to criticize.
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A Nutshell Review: Scary MoVie
DICK STEEL2 May 2013
I thought after some days of hectic work I'd pick the funniest film on release this week to laugh my rear off, but unfortunately Scary Movie 5 turns in a disappointing form, with the Wayan brothers abandoning their franchise for A Haunted House instead. Despite having David Zucker in a writing capacity, this installment seems finally to have run out of steam in its long-running franchise, one which took the horror films in between them and give them the spoof treatment. And the lack of material shows despite the seven year absence, having to touch non-horror films as well given the wafer thin content upon which to draw inspiration from and to make fun of.

And you would think that their crowning glory, having the two Tinseltown folks who can't seem to get out of trouble and the wrong side of the limelight - Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan - would be a tad interesting, but it's not. Both look like they were in it for the paycheck, and couldn't care less to ham it up a little. The jokes they partook in were really bad, with absolutely nothing to laugh at or about, and if they were to think they have a second career as comedians, they just might want to think again, given their lack of comic timing.

No spoof of any horror film today would be without the Paranormal Activity style of video cameras being mounted almost everywhere, with the playback naturally being remotely hilarious, especially when people tend to miss the whole point of what they were hoping to see. Forming the basis for whatever semblance of a storyline is that of Mama, which involves Jody (Ashley Tisdale) and Dan (Simon Rex) picking up three spooky kids, thrown into a mix of Paranormal Activity, complete with a haunted house, Mama, and a housekeeper whose antics were probably the best bits in the film.

Then came some other story development that linked up Black Swan, RIse of the Planet of the Apes and Evil Dead, for the most parts, and so you have one really amalgamated piece of narrative that had tried its best to blend these diverse stories together, but as it turned out, someone forgot to include genuine comedy in the film, short of tapping into the same old bags of toilet humour just for laughs. Some worked, and most didn't. Perhaps it is time to retire the franchise, for good. Even A Haunted House, was miles better than this, without having its jokes run stale, or feeling forced.

The many cameo appearances, do nothing to save the film from its depths of woeful scenes trying their hardest to pass off as comedy. And as if sitting through the film isn't torture enough, you can elect to stay until after the end credits to extend that dreaded feeling for a scene longer.
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The worst one of the entire series
ndallas198314 April 2013
The only intelligent actor/actress from the entire Scary Movie series is Anna Ferris. You know why I say that, is because she wasn't in Scary Movie 5. She was smart. I'm not sure exactly what went wrong with this one, but I enjoyed the last 4 a lot more. Given that the 4th one was reaching a new level of stupidity, it was still 10x more funnier than the 5th. I regret paying $10 to watch this. This is the 2nd time in two weeks that I have made the mistake to pay money to see a stupid movie that ended up making me completely question why I go to the movies. Hollywood needs to wake up. Just because you can charge people money to see a movie, doesn't mean you should. Certain movies do not belong at the movie theater, and this one should have been on that list. The director should have never let this movie leave their studio, and for the sake of all of the actors, someone there should have stopped this movie from being produced. Again - I enjoyed the first 4, but I am now done with the Scary Movie saga. Enough is enough, this is just insulting. You can easily tell that even the highest paid actors like Charlie Sheen and that chick from Modern Family, put on a massive layer of suck in their roles. Are we all getting that lazy now days that we are going to record ourselves doing a horrible job, posting it to the world, and expecting money to come rolling in? I think the writers of Scary Movie should delete this one, and make a new Scary Movie 5. The next one that comes out will only be watched on DVD.
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Starts off completely wrong aka Paranormal Mama
kosmasp13 October 2013
But maybe that is why in the end I kind of enjoyed some of it. Not the beginning bit, mind you! Even Charlie Sheen explaining that (which is the only thing worse than his skit/intro with Lohan) does not make it better. We get, the two of them are making fun of themselves. Not something that is particular funny though.

The rest of the movie though: There are a few things, that were so silly that I had to laugh. Maybe it only makes sense or is kind of funny, if you have seen the other movies. Like "Mama" or "Paranormal Activity" which are the biggest influences here. If you have seen Haunted House (which I watched after Scary Movie 5) before you watch this, you might even like it more than I did. Regular Anna Faris is not back this time, but we get another actress who's doing a decent job of replacing. Though I guess if you were a fan of Farris, than you might be mad at her (not her fault though).

By far not the best spoof I've seen, but if you let yourself to it (and be silly) this actually has some funny moments (don't let that stupid beginning ruin the whole movie for you).
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Unbelievably sh!t
STAR RATING: ***** Saturday Night **** Friday Night *** Friday Morning ** Sunday Night * Monday Morning

I'm used to seeing spoofs where I know the films that are being parodied, but the recent crop of franchised, sanitised horror films have failed to catch my attention, so it was no help that I hardly even knew any of the films Scary Movie 5 was sending up. But know them or not, what can't be denied is what started out as an inspired, refreshing, if gross and thoroughly none PC idea got completely carried away with itself and just descended in to painfully unfunny dross. And so this fifth instalment, coming seven years after the last one, has an air of desperation about it, like some lazy studio executives thinking up something cheap and heartless for a quick buck. They've certainly failed to provide something even vaguely resembling a coherent plot, and so Scary Movie 5, lacking the Wayans Brothers touch that got it started, is left to just drag on in to the wilderness.

Barely 70 minutes long, it's hard to think how something so short could be so torturous, but as it drags along without the merest hint of a laugh as it does, it becomes even more of a painful slog to the end. I'm just glad I didn't really pay to see it. NO STARS
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Worst movie ever
markfran606013 April 2013
Don't bother going to see this junk. It appears to be very low budget and infantile. I have enjoyed the other Scary movies but this one has no redeeming value. My 15 year old son said it was the worst movie he has ever seen. Disjointed. People were leaving the theater before the halfway point and it is only an hour and a half. There is really not much you can say about it except to wait until it comes out on Netflix and even then it will hard to watch. Honestly I can't believe that after the movie company watched this movie they had the nerve to release it. In my opinion this would hurt your reputation as a Film maker more than helping by a long shot. There is a considerable difference in the quality of this Scary movie and the others, none of the original cast appear in the movie and it seems to be based mostly on paranormal activity, the set becomes very stagnant. My son said that the actual paranormal activity was funnier. My son loves the Scary movie brand, he said this one would give the franchise a bad name and he would give it a -2 if he could.

This is a good reason to use Pirate Bay. The public is certainly being ripped off by paying for this kind of crap.

Anyone who gives this movie a positive review should be suspect. They are either being paid or benefiting in some way.

I like this type of movie - this one is just bad.
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Worst movie i've ever seen in my entire life.
cragsyj1-292-89018817 April 2013
I've never written a review before, in fact i've never logged into this before, but i HAD to...just to say this is hands down the worst movie i've ever seen in my entire life, people were leaving the cinema and sadly we stayed hoping and wishing it would improve. It didn't!

You know those kids shows on Disney channel where someone bangs their head and you see kids crying laughing, picture that but even less funny, oh and by the way, constantly through the movie it's people banging their head etc, they've ripped the Disney channel off for comedy and failed, HOW BAD DO YOU HAVE TO BE AT COMEDY???

I'm actually angry at the movie, i got home about 15 minutes ago and i haven't stopped swearing since. Seriously don't watch this movie, don't even watch the trailer. If you see it on a bus stop sign graffiti it.
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Watchable silliness
pmtelefon16 November 2020
"Scary Movie V" wore me down after a while and I ended up kind of liking it. It's helped a great deal by a very game cast. They all know that it's a silly movie and they seem to be having a good time. Ashley Tisdale is the biggest surprise for me. Not only is she very dreamy looking but she also gives a fearless and very funny performance. What she does in this movie is no easy task. She does a great job. The rest of the cast is also very good. Once I got into the groove, "Scary Movie V" ended up being worth the watch.
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Sharknado, without the Sharks or nados
cromwell_31631 July 2013
Take a group of bored actors with nothing in the works, mix in a large number of crew meandering around the Hollywood Hills looking for work, add a 120 pages of random meaningless dialogue (found in a discarded waste bucket next to a photocopier) finally stir it all up and hang around studio parking lots or known eateries of studio big wigs and financiers, ply them with drink and voilà you have this.

A complete waste of time, dull, predictable and as funny as the toothache that kept me up and out watching it (a wisdom tooth), in their defence we (and those behind them) know Sharknado, Megashark etc. are always going to be laughable, the only laughable part of this was how someone, somewhere managed to get it made.

For 1/100,000th of the cost of this the guys behind Birdemic could have bought a second mic that worked and a pair of decent headphones and almost, just almost not have been above this as the worst movie I have seen this year.
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Only good for a few chuckles
DarkVulcan296 May 2013
They through a lot of parodies at you in this fifth installment, and there where only 3 or 4 times that I laughed, but for the most part I'm just staring at the screen and wondering how is this funny. It seems that the filmmakers are trying to too hard to be funny, and the more they are trying they fail completely failed. But I can see the parts where they where not trying so hard, are probably the parts that i was laughing.

Ashley Tisdale who I don't doubt is a very talented actress, but is incredibly bland here, nothing she does just does not jump out at you. Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan are pretty good spoofing themselves, but lets face they are already become parodies of themselves at this point. Simon Rex is alright, but really he is just there also. Not as bad has Movie 43, but still not as funny has it tried to be, but still good for a few chuckles.
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"Scary Movie 5"- Unwatchable.
TedStixonAKAMaximumMadness13 November 2016
Look, I'm not going to sit here and try to explain and justify my enjoyment of the first four entries in the long-running "Scary Movie" series. It's trash in every capacity, plain and simple. Cynical, trendy trash that only seeks to quickly capitalize on whatever is new or hip with filmgoing crowds through only the most base and lowest-common of denominators. Not a single film in the franchise could be called "art." And yet... I get a kick out of them. Particularly the second and third films, which were actually very amusing. They may be trash, but they're fun trash. Enjoyable trash. Entertaining trash. Trash with a charming cast and just enough chuckles to make them worth a go on a slow, rainy day at home. Yeah, you'll feel your IQ dropping during some of the stupider moments of those previous films, but they were never so bad as to be offensive or outright dismissed.

Then there's "Scary Movie 5." ...whelp, this series was fun while it lasted, I guess.

I'll level with you. This is one of those very rare occasions where even trying to force myself to watch a movie in order to be able to write a fair and balanced IMDb review, I just couldn't. I honestly was unable to. I had to start skimming through because the film was making me angry. Furious even. How could a series that was honestly never more than just silly, broad parody fall so hard, so quickly? It's shocking just how aggressively unfunny and tedious a film this is. Even by the midway point of the opening scene- a brutally prolonged "Paranormal Activity" parody involving Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan trying to make a sex tape- the humor had been completely sapped and it was running on fumes.

And this downward spiral only continued with each passing scene, every awkwardly contrived pop-culture reference and all the nonsensical attempts at lampooning then-recent releases. Essentially a melding of "Mama", "Paranormal Activity", the rebooted "Planet of the Apes" series and "Black Swan" with a smattering of plot elements from other major films, the storyline is a fundamental mess, with only the most tenuous of connections to string together the constant barrage of shockingly dead on arrival humor. Yes, you could argue that the fourth film's combination of "Saw", "The Grudge" and "War of the Worlds" was messy and contrived... but at least it tried. This one can't even muster up the energy to do that.

Story goes that the production was a bit of a mess, with upwards of half the film being hastily re-written, re-shot and re-edited during last minute pick-ups barely two months before release without the participation of original (and solely credited) director Malcolm D. Lee. And it shows. Badly. Even giving it the biggest cut of slack I can, it feels like a mish-mash of several different visions and just stinks of a perplexing combination of apathy and desperation. I have a feeling you can tell which scenes were re-shot and which were in the original version as the tone and feeling will radically change from scene to scene. Some scenes feel like soulless attempts at patching together jokes whereas others feel like everyone was trying... way too hard. And as a result, it comes off disjointed and honestly just uncomfortable to watch.

Even the return of Simon Rex in a starring role after his turn as a supporting character in the previous two films (albeit as a new character here) can't save this trainwreck... and I'm one of the people who actually really enjoyed his work in those films as the lovable goofball. Then again, he's the only returning co-star of any previous films, with series leads Anna Faris and Regina Hall- the two beating hearts of the entire series- having long since jumped ship. So I don't know what I expected. If the franchise film can't even attract the attention of its own lead cast members and instead has to upgrade a smaller supporting cast member to be the new star, it's usually not the best of signs.

While it may not be quite as condescending and grating as, say... a "Seltzerberg"-level parody, there's just no salvaging any laughs here. It's a confused, contrived, unfunny and even uncomfortable experience trying to watch "Scary Movie 5", and try as I might... I couldn't do it. It's up there with "Going Overboard" and "Fat Slags: The Movie" as one of the most inherently unwatchable comedies I've ever had the displeasure of witnessing.

I really have no other choice but to give "Scary Movie 5" a tragic 1 out of 10. It's a shame.
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As Far as Parodies Go This Wasn't That Bad
view_and_review10 June 2015
I had lost count of the Scary Movies. I actually thought I'd already seen this one. They're all one big blur with the exception of the first Scary Movie; that was undeniably the best and it went downhill after that. I believe there was a sharp drop after Marlon and Shawn Wayans left the franchise.

At any rate, it was on Netflix so I figured there was no loss if I watched it to see if in fact it was one I'd seen already. Well, it wasn't and I did enjoy it. The main spoof was the movie Mama which I have seen so I was able to understand many of the references. Parodies are typically bad so this one was probably above average for a parody. It wasn't too vulgar, the slapstick and physical comedy wasn't too over the top, I got to see both Sheen and Lohan ridicule themselves. Not too bad.
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Looks Like Everyone Would Want Their Name Off This Disaster
Michael_Elliott1 May 2013
Scary Movie V (2013)

BOMB (out of 4)

Wow, an American comedy from 2013 that makes INAPPROPRIATE COMEDY seem a little funnier. I'm not even going to waste my time giving any sort of plot synapses because this thing is just so horridly bad that you can't help but wonder a few things. Apparently 60% of this movie was re-filmed by David Zucker because the original movie from Malcolm D. Lee just didn't work. Considering how awful this theatrical version is, one really has to wonder how much worse the original could have been. The big "draw" to this is that it spoofs other 2013 films like MAMA and it even spoofs EVIL DEAD, which was released a week earlier. The MAMA spoof takes up the majority of the running time and there are simply no funny moments. I sat there in the empty theater just shocked that anyone would want to admit that they were involved in this thing. The jokes were just downright funny with the majority of them being physical stuff but it simply wasn't funny. The EVIL DEAD stuff got a couple small laughs but certainly not enough to save the picture. Even worse is the BLACK SWAN stuff that just seems to be out-dated and, again, unfunny. Ashley Tisdale and Simon Rex play the main couple but add zero. Katt Williams is really bland in his brief role and even Snoop Dogg and his pot jokes can't do anything. Oh yes, there's also the Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan stuff, which gets the film off to a very bad start. I guess Sheen just doesn't care what it does and Lohan has nothing better to do since she's now been in two horrid films in 2013. SCARY MOVIE V is without question one of the worst films I've ever sat through and trust me when I say I've watched some bad stuff. There were several times where I thought about walking out of the screening but I stuck in there to the end so that will show how dumb I was.
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Basically, an exploitation film for weed- and gangsta rap-obsessed 13-year-olds
elinguation28 April 2013
I really don't know where to even start with this, so let's just get started. This movie is not funny. There you go - it fails as a comedy. In addition to that, it's dumb, mean-spirited, and in poor taste, and I think you're going to agree with me about that even if you like stuff that is in poor taste. I mean, this is basically an exploitation film for weed- and gangsta rap-obsessed 13-year-olds. It covers all the bases: sex scene involving clowns and ponies, sex scene involving pool cleaning machines, dildo collections being found by small children, things getting stuck up dogs' anuses, a scene featuring Snoop Dogg (or Snoop Lion or whatever he insists that people call him now) and a giant blunt, etc. Wow, this is multiplex entertainment in 2013?

I saw the first Scary Movie and thought it was pretty amusing in places. I'm also a huge fan of totally absurd slapstick comedies like Airplane and the Naked Gun movies. What is it exactly that makes this film so awful where the others, at least on some level, succeeded? I can't think of any way to explain it except this: watching Scary MoVie is the film equivalent of eating White Castle sliders for an hour and a half, washing them down with a gallon of Mountain Dew, topping it all off with seven pounds of cheesecake and then doing the Mentos and Coke thing (featured in this film, incidentally) so you can projectile-puke the stuff you just ate all over your friends who were expecting it and think it's funny. Truly, honestly, that's the caliber of stuff you're going to subject yourself to for 90 minutes if you insist on watching this.

The movie tries to make fun of Inception, Black Sawn, Evil Dead, etc., but it seems to me that you have to actually be smarter than something if you want to effectively make fun of it. Instead, they should make a movie that makes fun of all the Scary Movie movies. Honestly, they should be pretty easy targets. This movie does not have the minimum level of intelligence required to comment about anything at all. The best it can do is make "peehole" jokes and try to get the audience to laugh at monkeys flinging poo at the wall. No, it's really not funny.

I'm racking my brains trying to recall if there was anything at all good about this film. I do remember laughing at a couple of the gags. That sex scene with clowns and ponies was actually somewhat amusing - there, I said it. I'm afraid this review is going to come off the wrong way because it sounds like I refuse to watch stuff that pushes boundaries of good taste. Hardly, man. I even liked Videodrome, which Roger Ebert called "nauseating." The real problem is that this film uses boundary-pushing as an excuse to be stupid. In reality, it's about as intelligent as a stoned middle school dropout, incidentally the only type of person I can imagine enjoying this.

I was about to start getting depressed about the state of the world given that this kind of obvious dog dookie is considered entertainment, but it doesn't seem that other people found it all that entertaining either. I watched at least two couples walk out of the theater before the end of the film, so ultimately I'm concluding that there's probably some reason to have hope about the future of this planet. Thanks, Scary MoVie! Not that there's anything to be thankful for except that no one actually came up to me and hit me in the head with a shovel while the film was playing. They'll probably include that in part six.
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An inglorious ending, even if it's not as bad as everyone says.
filipemanuelneto31 January 2021
Okay, this film is not a good one. But honestly, I didn't think it was as bad as everyone says it is. For me, the worst film in the franchise was the second on the list. Anyway, this film is bad, and that is indisputable. With him, it seemed, definitely in a definitive way, a franchise that had an unusually long life, considering the kind of films presented.

The biggest problem with the film is not being funny. The jokes are within the standard of the franchise, but they are lukewarm, they bet a lot on eschatological humor (I don't know what's worse, that or the sexual obsession that abounds in teen comedies) and the fact that we easily predict them takes away from them grace. Some satires (like the one made for the films "Mama" and "Cabin in the Woods") did not work, although the script also seemed to me within the standard that the franchise has accustomed us to. There was a lack of a more competent and funny cast, in addition to the firm hand of a director capable of demanding more from everyone involved. Zucker, who signs the script, is good at making comedies when he can do anything he wants, and he has already demonstrated it, having been responsible for "Scary Movie 4", for me the best film in the franchise. But he is not alone here, neither in the direction nor in the script, and I do not know how well the joint work went.

The cast is amateur, to be nice. I don't know where they were recruited, but what gives the film some life is decent acting and Ashley Tisdale and Erica Ash alongside some of the cameos: the opening scene, with Linsay Lohan making humor out of her own personal misfortune, it just doesn't become infamous because she's comfortable with it, and Snoop Dogg doesn't seem to know how it got there.
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I Don't Get the Hate...
ivern-326-71163619 July 2013
This movie came out so late here in Norway! Jesus!

Anyway, Scary Movie V is the latest installment in the Scary Movie franchise. In this one, most of the cast from the previous movies are absent. That's not a good sign. In this one, we get parodies of more recent movies, like Paranormal Activity, Mama, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and ... The Shawshank Redemption? Oh well, only two of those are horror movies, but oh well...

I'm gonna cut right to the chase. This movie is not horrible. If you thought the previous ones were funny, you're gonna think this one is funny. In fact, I find Scary Movie V to be one of the funnier movies in the series. That may be because I've seen most of the movies parodied in this one, as opposed to the other ones where there's only a couple parodies per movie I actually get.

Anyways, back to the point: Everyone seems to hate this movie, and I say: What do you except? Do you really want a clever comedy with smart humor and jokes that you are gonna remember your whole life? No. The Scary Movies are stupid. Some of the stupidest movies ever, but that doesn't matter, because they know it. They don't try to make it good, they're just making another Scary Movie.

I think a lot of people have forgotten to have mindless fun with comedies. Everyone expects a comedy to be memorable these days. Yes, this movie's not the most fun you'll have in the theater, but it is a fun movie to watch with friends none-the-less.

Again, if you like the other Scary Movies, there's no reason not to watch this one: It's pretty much a modern take on the same formula that's been going on for 13 years now. It's good for what it is.
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By far and away the worst of the series
TheLittleSongbird17 July 2013
The first Scary Movie was very entertaining if rather mindless, 2 is uneven though much better than what is often said about it, 3 was a mixed bag and 4 was poor and until now was the worst of the four. This fifth entry was just awful with no redeeming values, the only movie of the series to be on the same level as rubbish like Disaster Movie and Epic Movie and actually comes dangerously close to being even worse. Visually it's cheap, with the way it's shot and edited strongly reminiscent of a poorly done direct-to-video movie and that is the same with the sets. The soundtrack is generic and like a noisy music video with a lot thrown in for the sake of it and very little adds anything to what is going on. The dialogue toe-curlingly bad in how inane and excessively vulgar it is. Nothing about it is funny or witty, much of it is immature and insulting, if the writers were clueless as to what was funny that comes through loud and clear. The funniest it gets? "Help, there's a mad demon in my house", and if you're thinking that that is also stupid, you're right, it is. There is not much story here to speak of, it was just an excuse seemingly to cobble together genre send-ups and parodies and the sheer idiocy only increases. And none of these are funny, some of the gags are drawn out to an unbearable degree, the ones sending up horrors like Evil Dead have nothing atmospheric, scary or remotely creepy about them and the bulimia and pregnancy gags were tasteless(and not mildly, this is more above-borderline offensive, in quite some while no other movie has evoked a reaction as extreme as this). There's even a surreal spoof on Fifty Shades of Grey, which came across as out of place. The acting is awful, and even that is an insult to the word awful. It wasn't a problem that the original cast weren't there, what was was that none of the actors had any spirit and energy to their performances, the few actors who do have some talent are wasted and some overact, Ashley Tisdale being the worst offender. Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan send themselves and their tabloid reps embarrassingly, the Paranormal Activity spoof wasn't scary or halfway amusing in the slightest. In conclusion, a complete mess and by far the worst of an overall hit-and-miss movie series. 1/10 Bethany Cox
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A new low for the Scary Movie series.
BA_Harrison30 July 2018
Most spoof movies tend to be a bit hit and miss; Scary Movie V is all miss. Its targets are a selection of recent horror movies - Mama, Paranormal Activity, Insidious and The Evil Dead - and, for no discernible reason at all, non-horror hits Inception, Black Swan, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and 50 Shades of Grey.

Having already suffered through part 1-4, I was expecting part 5 to be bad (Anna Farris went so far as to get pregnant to avoid appearing in this one), but I never imagined it could be this awful! It's 88 minutes of utterly puerile, laugh-free nonsense that feels like it was written by a bunch of teenage boys (and not very smart ones at that).

A jaw-droppingly terrible sex scene starring Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan, Snoop Dogg raiding a marijuana farm, a crap Leonardo DiCaprio lookalike, monkeys throwing poop, a little girl humping someone's leg, a baby on fire, and a wild pool party held by automated pool cleaning machines (yes, you read that correctly!): just a few of the unbelievably dreadful moments in this total wreck of a movie. Rarely has $20million been so poorly spent.

1/10, for the lovely Ashley Tisdale, who I'm guessing didn't watch the previous movies before signing on the dotted line, and because 0/10 is still not an option.
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Why does this movie even exist.
slicedbread11730 August 2013
This review won't take very long, as there are literally zero positive things to say about this film. It is beyond awful, one of the worst films I've seen ever, period. The movie didn't have me laughing once, the script seems to have been written by a room full of monkeys. The acting was awful and the effects (audio and visual) were laughable to say the least. I mean, this movie seemed like it was literally pulled from the trash and put in the theaters. The first Scary Movie wasn't half bad, but holy crap this series has gone done quicker than Lindsey Lohan's career. I just really don't know what else to say, the movie had absolutely no entertainment value of any kind, anywhere in the film.

While I understand this movie is a parody and is supposed to be a "so bad it's good" movie, someone could make a parody of this movie it's so bad. Simply put, Scary Movie 5 is far and away the worst film of 2013, and possibly the worst film I've seen in my entire life.

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It's alright but what did you expect, class?
bassrourke12 April 2013
Charlie Sheen is himself and very funny in the opening scenes with Lindsay Lohan sending each other up perfectly. Forget plot, it's a Scary Movie film, just like Hot Shots, Not Another Teen Movie, Epic Movie, Superhero Movie and so on.... just a reason for a series of good and not so good parodies of pop culture films. And, in this case the book 50 Shades of Grey gets a look in with the unlikely pairing of Jerry O'Connell & Mike Tyson appearing opposite Ashley Tisdale in that sequence. My highlights were the Black Swan & ongoing Paranormal Activity rip offs, especially the pool cleaner party. Look at it this way, it's mindless fun, better with a beer in hand. It has it's moments and for those who care, stay on AFTER THE CREDITS for an extra scene. Ashley Tisdale is brilliant at the dead pan comedy required although I did miss Anna Faris a little.
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BAD and not in a good way
bob-rutzel-128 August 2013
Don and Judy Sanders (Simon Rex & Ashley Tisdale) believe their family is being terrorized by a demon and must find a way to have this stop. This the basic plot. The rest are just skits that revolve around humans and demons to basically spoof other scary movies. None are funny or even come close to being funny.

Being the brave soul I took out Scary Movie 5 (ah, but you knew it was a comedy and not scary) and found it quite unfunny and mostly annoying. . Some have said that this movie spoofs a lot of other scary movies. I wouldn't know, but if you have seen those movies, it will be up to you to decide what skits herein this movie spoofs. I could care less. But, I did learn that this was not a funny movie.

It's true that the promos led me to believe I might enjoy this one. Wrong again. And, I was sure that the Mandatory Hollywood Rule for Silly and Stupid things would play a large part. And, without fail, they did, big time throughout the entire movie.

This movie is all raunchy slap-stick and done badly by everyone. There was no one in charge of anything.

There are a lot of stars in here for cameo purposes. I found the Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan skit shown in the promo to be good. I laughed when Sheen was pulled out of bed by a demon and his jewels stopped his flight into the door. Ouch, ouch, ouch! Sorry, but that was funny. However, that scene WAS NOT in the movie. Fooled again. They used another unfunny skit to Benny Hill music.

Celebs I recognized: Snoop Dog, Heather Locklear, Jerry O'Connell and Mike Tyson and there are others whom I have no knowledge of. Other actors were made up to look like the real stars for example: Leonardo DeCaprio and the movie character: Madea. .

What you will see: adults hitting kids, fecal fights, child's hair on fire, things shoved up rectums, a lot of fighting some with fists and pots and pans, pies and fruit made with fecal matter, kids humping legs, a microwave being humped…… I just cannot go on with this.

There are outtakes after the movie and none, again, are remotely funny. You will see some mouthing language that you didn't hear during the actual movie.

There is a Narrator throughout and he sounded very much like Morgan Freeman, but it was Josh Robert Thompson instead.

To give credit to this movie for spoofing other movies would be wrong because everything was done in ultra raunchy and disgusting ways. Basically, what we have is raunchy slap-stick throughout. (1/10)

Violence: Yes. Sex: Simulated often. Nudity: No, but they came close. Lesbians: Soaping in the shower and later kissing. Language: Soft Stuff, but the outtakes had characters mouthing the other stuff.
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