Scary Movie V (2013) Poster

(2013)

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1/10
Warn others not to see it!
xdex_corex13 April 2013
I will start off by saying I LOVE the Scary Movie franchise, especially scary movie 3. My girlfriend and I went to see it on the 12th, we were so excited because we both love the previous films. 5 to 10 minutes into it, neither of us were laughing, just straight face. I whispered over to her and told her this is really stupid, she agreed. None of other people that were sitting in the room laugh either. I can't believe we actually sat through the whole movie until the end, since we paid for it already. It had like 3 moments that made us chuckle a bit, but that was it. If I could demand my money back, I would. Little note for the producers- Instead of paying huge amounts of money to the celebrities, how about spend some in developing the story and jokes? I would say this movie *might* make little 10 years old children laugh, but that's about it.

It was so bad that I decided to make an IMDb account to criticize.
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3/10
The perfect film to watch if you want to commit suicide
waqarr4012 April 2013
The latest installment in the series of lazy spoofs, this film offers virtually nothing to its audience, insulting their intelligence for an hour-and-a-half with perhaps the worst collection of blatantly uninspired and recycled gags ever put to into a film.

The horrendous excuse for a plot centers on a suburban wife (Ashley Tisdale) and her dimwitted husband (Simon Rex) moving into a haunted house with their possessed adopted children. From there, the film parodies the biggest blockbusters of the last few years, but does so without a semblance of relevance, creativity or wit.

It says a lot about the film that the only half-laughs to be had come from Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan sharing the opening scene – an incredibly stupid and borderline cringe-worthy, but inexplicably entertaining chuckle at their fall from grace.

It's all downhill from there as the rest of the film plays out as a series of unconnected set pieces seen literally hundreds of times before. Often, such an unappealing movie is still able to salvage hope by suiting itself for a target market, but it is hard to see any audience group, from 15 year old to stoner, defending this abomination.

One would have to drink Lindsay under the table, smoke copious amounts of bud with Snoop Dogg and/or Lion and snort pure tiger blood with Charlie to even come close to drawing any semblance of enjoyment from this disaster. An imminent sweep of this year's Razzies doesn't seem like ironic punishment enough for one of the worst films ever made.
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1/10
Worst movie ever
markfran606013 April 2013
Don't bother going to see this junk. It appears to be very low budget and infantile. I have enjoyed the other Scary movies but this one has no redeeming value. My 15 year old son said it was the worst movie he has ever seen. Disjointed. People were leaving the theater before the halfway point and it is only an hour and a half. There is really not much you can say about it except to wait until it comes out on Netflix and even then it will hard to watch. Honestly I can't believe that after the movie company watched this movie they had the nerve to release it. In my opinion this would hurt your reputation as a Film maker more than helping by a long shot. There is a considerable difference in the quality of this Scary movie and the others, none of the original cast appear in the movie and it seems to be based mostly on paranormal activity, the set becomes very stagnant. My son said that the actual paranormal activity was funnier. My son loves the Scary movie brand, he said this one would give the franchise a bad name and he would give it a -2 if he could.

This is a good reason to use Pirate Bay. The public is certainly being ripped off by paying for this kind of crap.

Anyone who gives this movie a positive review should be suspect. They are either being paid or benefiting in some way.

I like this type of movie - this one is just bad.
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1/10
The worst one of the entire series
ndallas198314 April 2013
The only intelligent actor/actress from the entire Scary Movie series is Anna Ferris. You know why I say that, is because she wasn't in Scary Movie 5. She was smart. I'm not sure exactly what went wrong with this one, but I enjoyed the last 4 a lot more. Given that the 4th one was reaching a new level of stupidity, it was still 10x more funnier than the 5th. I regret paying $10 to watch this. This is the 2nd time in two weeks that I have made the mistake to pay money to see a stupid movie that ended up making me completely question why I go to the movies. Hollywood needs to wake up. Just because you can charge people money to see a movie, doesn't mean you should. Certain movies do not belong at the movie theater, and this one should have been on that list. The director should have never let this movie leave their studio, and for the sake of all of the actors, someone there should have stopped this movie from being produced. Again - I enjoyed the first 4, but I am now done with the Scary Movie saga. Enough is enough, this is just insulting. You can easily tell that even the highest paid actors like Charlie Sheen and that chick from Modern Family, put on a massive layer of suck in their roles. Are we all getting that lazy now days that we are going to record ourselves doing a horrible job, posting it to the world, and expecting money to come rolling in? I think the writers of Scary Movie should delete this one, and make a new Scary Movie 5. The next one that comes out will only be watched on DVD.
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1/10
Worst movie i've ever seen in my entire life.
cragsyj1-292-89018817 April 2013
I've never written a review before, in fact i've never logged into this before, but i HAD to...just to say this is hands down the worst movie i've ever seen in my entire life, people were leaving the cinema and sadly we stayed hoping and wishing it would improve. It didn't!

You know those kids shows on Disney channel where someone bangs their head and you see kids crying laughing, picture that but even less funny, oh and by the way, constantly through the movie it's people banging their head etc, they've ripped the Disney channel off for comedy and failed, HOW BAD DO YOU HAVE TO BE AT COMEDY???

I'm actually angry at the movie, i got home about 15 minutes ago and i haven't stopped swearing since. Seriously don't watch this movie, don't even watch the trailer. If you see it on a bus stop sign graffiti it.
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3/10
I almost regret not walking out of the theater.
naregian13 April 2013
The era of spoof and parody is dead.

Let me start off by saying that I knew this film was going to be horrible from the start. I had read reviews and knew it was bad, but being so infatuated with film and theater, I actually wanted to see the movie to diagnose exactly what made it so horrible. (Insult me if you must, but I have a lot of free time on my hands and I love all kinds of movies.)

I'm not gonna lie, I went into the theater with the hope that on some slight chance, I would enjoy the film. Wrong. The movie was so boring and tasteless that I was actually distracted with my phone for some parts during the film, which is of the utmost rarity for me.

The horrible acting and line delivery dried this film out so much that I don't know where to begin. Ashley Tisdale was definitely not as good as Anna Faris was, and obviously, everyone will compare the two. I hate to admit it, but Mac Miller, Snoop Dogg, and Katt Williams all could have made audiences laugh with the material they were given, but were just too dry.

Admittedly, there were some very rare parts of the movie that had a somewhat witty humor to it, but it was only once or twice, and weak at that. The rest of the stupid slapstick humor was just so lame and dragging. Slapstick humor should stay within the PG level of humor for the kids.

On that note, the movie had overly crude, and just STUPID sexual humor that was just stupid and weak. Even hard R teenage sex comedies are more sophisticated than this. I laughed maybe one time, and it wasn't even a laugh. I kinda exhaled sharply while smiling.

Overall, there was almost no sophisticated or witty humor, horrid acting, and it was all just plain bad. So yes, the reviews are correct, it was horrible. The only reason I give it a 3 instead of a 1 was because hundreds and hundreds of people put months and months of work into an 85 minute piece of what they thought was art, and giving a movie a 1 or maybe a 2 is too disrespectful to the art that is film. (But then again, this movie is pretty disrespectful to the art that is film as well.)
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Sharknado, without the Sharks or nados
cromwell_31631 July 2013
Take a group of bored actors with nothing in the works, mix in a large number of crew meandering around the Hollywood Hills looking for work, add a 120 pages of random meaningless dialogue (found in a discarded waste bucket next to a photocopier) finally stir it all up and hang around studio parking lots or known eateries of studio big wigs and financiers, ply them with drink and voilà you have this.

A complete waste of time, dull, predictable and as funny as the toothache that kept me up and out watching it (a wisdom tooth), in their defence we (and those behind them) know Sharknado, Megashark etc. are always going to be laughable, the only laughable part of this was how someone, somewhere managed to get it made.

For 1/100,000th of the cost of this the guys behind Birdemic could have bought a second mic that worked and a pair of decent headphones and almost, just almost not have been above this as the worst movie I have seen this year.
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1/10
Terrifying in all the worst ways.
Jonathon_Natsis17 May 2013
It is almost inconceivable to imagine how much effort a group of people would have to put into making a film as bad as Scary Movie 5. The latest instalment in the series of lazy spoofs, not including some unforgivable side projects including Date Movie and Epic Movie, this film offers virtually nothing to its audience, insulting their intelligence for an hour-and-a-half with perhaps the worst collection of blatantly uninspired and recycled gags ever put to celluloid.

The film's horrendous excuse for a plot centres on a suburban wife (Ashley Tisdale) and her dimwitted husband (Simon Rex) moving into a haunted house with their possessed adopted children. From there, the film brings its staple of parodying the biggest blockbusters of the last few years, but does so without a semblance of relevance, creativity or wit.

It says a lot about the film that the only half-laughs to be had come from Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan sharing the opening scene- an incredibly stupid and borderline cringe-worthy, but inexplicably entertaining chuckle at their fall from grace.

It's all downhill from there, though, as the rest of the film plays out as a series of unconnected set pieces seen literally hundreds of times before. Often, such an unappealing movie is still able to salvage some hope by suiting itself for a target market, but it is hard to see any audience group, from 15 year-olds to stoners, defending this abomination.

One would have to drink Lindsay under the table, smoke copious amounts of bud with Snoop Dogg and/or Lion and snort pure tiger blood with Charlie to even come close to drawing any semblance of enjoyment from this disaster. An imminent sweep of this year's Razzies doesn't seem like ironic punishment enough for one of the worst films ever made.

*There's nothing I love more than a bit of feedback, good or bad. So drop me a line on jnatsis@iprimus.com.au and let me know what you thought of my review. If you're looking for a writer for your movie website or other publication, I'd also love to hear from you.*
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1/10
Basically, an exploitation film for weed- and gangsta rap-obsessed 13-year-olds
elinguation28 April 2013
I really don't know where to even start with this, so let's just get started. This movie is not funny. There you go - it fails as a comedy. In addition to that, it's dumb, mean-spirited, and in poor taste, and I think you're going to agree with me about that even if you like stuff that is in poor taste. I mean, this is basically an exploitation film for weed- and gangsta rap-obsessed 13-year-olds. It covers all the bases: sex scene involving clowns and ponies, sex scene involving pool cleaning machines, dildo collections being found by small children, things getting stuck up dogs' anuses, a scene featuring Snoop Dogg (or Snoop Lion or whatever he insists that people call him now) and a giant blunt, etc. Wow, this is multiplex entertainment in 2013?

I saw the first Scary Movie and thought it was pretty amusing in places. I'm also a huge fan of totally absurd slapstick comedies like Airplane and the Naked Gun movies. What is it exactly that makes this film so awful where the others, at least on some level, succeeded? I can't think of any way to explain it except this: watching Scary MoVie is the film equivalent of eating White Castle sliders for an hour and a half, washing them down with a gallon of Mountain Dew, topping it all off with seven pounds of cheesecake and then doing the Mentos and Coke thing (featured in this film, incidentally) so you can projectile-puke the stuff you just ate all over your friends who were expecting it and think it's funny. Truly, honestly, that's the caliber of stuff you're going to subject yourself to for 90 minutes if you insist on watching this.

The movie tries to make fun of Inception, Black Sawn, Evil Dead, etc., but it seems to me that you have to actually be smarter than something if you want to effectively make fun of it. Instead, they should make a movie that makes fun of all the Scary Movie movies. Honestly, they should be pretty easy targets. This movie does not have the minimum level of intelligence required to comment about anything at all. The best it can do is make "peehole" jokes and try to get the audience to laugh at monkeys flinging poo at the wall. No, it's really not funny.

I'm racking my brains trying to recall if there was anything at all good about this film. I do remember laughing at a couple of the gags. That sex scene with clowns and ponies was actually somewhat amusing - there, I said it. I'm afraid this review is going to come off the wrong way because it sounds like I refuse to watch stuff that pushes boundaries of good taste. Hardly, man. I even liked Videodrome, which Roger Ebert called "nauseating." The real problem is that this film uses boundary-pushing as an excuse to be stupid. In reality, it's about as intelligent as a stoned middle school dropout, incidentally the only type of person I can imagine enjoying this.

I was about to start getting depressed about the state of the world given that this kind of obvious dog dookie is considered entertainment, but it doesn't seem that other people found it all that entertaining either. I watched at least two couples walk out of the theater before the end of the film, so ultimately I'm concluding that there's probably some reason to have hope about the future of this planet. Thanks, Scary MoVie! Not that there's anything to be thankful for except that no one actually came up to me and hit me in the head with a shovel while the film was playing. They'll probably include that in part six.
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5/10
Don't expect much.
Sleepin_Dragon22 April 2019
It's fair to say that it is the worst of the series, it's let down by some really awful scenes, and some dire performances, but, it still has some of the old magic, and a few times I did find myself laughing. The scene between Sheen and Lohan was perhaps the worst thing I have ever seen, it was appalling, almost like an attempt to replicate the Pamela Anderson scene, but it was just terrible. The Black Swan scenes were lots of fun, and nicely produced, they felt at odds with lots of the film.

Is it the case that people's humour has changed since the early films, or were the jokes simply not funny? Personally I think it's the latter, in fairness though it isn't as if there were great horror movies to parody.

It's poor, but will still give the odd chuckle. 5/10
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1/10
You couldn't pay me to see that again.
sam-burf14 April 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Beyond rubbish. The only reason i didn't give this film a rating of absolute 0 is because IMDb didn't allow me to. In all honesty, the CIA should probably adopt this film as a method of torture in Guantanamo.

The opening scene was probably the most humorous part of the film, even that was only a mild chuckle. The rest of the film was filled with random rubbish that no one in the cinema found amusing. Through out the whole film I only heard one laugh, and even that was from some women sat in front of me whose husband had just asked her what the hell they were watching.

If you're considering watching this film, please don't waste your time. Watching this film will make you realize how precious your time is. You could tell that the rest of the audience was thinking this as well, simply from the way everyone more or less leaped out of their seats as soon as the ending credits appeared on the screen. This film will make you want to cry with disappointment, please, for your own sake, DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM.
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1/10
"Please run as fast as you can"
johen9220112 April 2013
Let me first start by telling you that I really wanted to rate this movie a 1/2 star, but the system they have set up here wouldn't allow me too. This movie was one of the top 10 worst movies that I have ever seen before in my "ENTIRE" life. Why? First lets start with the plot, Oh! I'm sorry there was none!!! All I will say is "KEEP YOUR MONEY" this was $15 that I could have spent on something worth while. I actually spent more time looking at my watch than I did the movie, because it was just that awful. Malcom Lee you must really needed the money, because this movie sucked!!! I am so used to seeing very funny skits with the previous scary movies. In my opinion this movie series has been going to the dogs ever since the Wayans Brothers stop contributing to the funny nature of this series. Also, the movie is more sexual in content than I would have liked and I really believe it should have been Rated R instead of PG-13. The acting is very poor in this movie and you would think with the actors that were involved you would have expected it to be very humorous. I cant tell you how long the movie was because after an hour I just couldn't take it anymore so my wife and I walked out of the movie.
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1/10
Seriously don't bother...
terence66614 April 2013
Warning: Spoilers
This must be the worst film i've seen in the cinema, OK I wasn't expecting much this was just embarrassing and it isn't the least bit funny. The script and storyline are poor, the sequences are just mixed up and jumbled and you never know what's really going on, sketches that drag and drag to fill the majority of the film. No wonder the franchise was halted for so many years it's a joke. Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan only have a minute of screen time and the Mike Tyson cameo is pretty lame.

Overall one of the worst and definitely not worth the money at the cinema or a DVD purchase.
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1/10
Terrible movie
darin_lanes6 May 2013
This is a complete waste of time. The script seems rushed and if you have epilepsy please do not go it will cause you a seizure in the club scene (which is completely pointless). The beginning is pretty much filler just to say they have Charlie Sheen and Lyndsey Lohan in the credits (which is the only part they take in the movie (first 10mins). I promise this movie will disappoint unless you're a teen which you may find poop and fart jokes funny. I didn't go to this movie thinking it was going to be good, I actually was looking forward to the parodies which were very weak and since when is planet of the apes a scary movie?
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1/10
"Scary Movie 5"- Unwatchable.
TedStixonAKAMaximumMadness13 November 2016
Look, I'm not going to sit here and try to explain and justify my enjoyment of the first four entries in the long-running "Scary Movie" series. It's trash in every capacity, plain and simple. Cynical, trendy trash that only seeks to quickly capitalize on whatever is new or hip with filmgoing crowds through only the most base and lowest-common of denominators. Not a single film in the franchise could be called "art." And yet... I get a kick out of them. Particularly the second and third films, which were actually very amusing. They may be trash, but they're fun trash. Enjoyable trash. Entertaining trash. Trash with a charming cast and just enough chuckles to make them worth a go on a slow, rainy day at home. Yeah, you'll feel your IQ dropping during some of the stupider moments of those previous films, but they were never so bad as to be offensive or outright dismissed.

Then there's "Scary Movie 5." ...whelp, this series was fun while it lasted, I guess.

I'll level with you. This is one of those very rare occasions where even trying to force myself to watch a movie in order to be able to write a fair and balanced IMDb review, I just couldn't. I honestly was unable to. I had to start skimming through because the film was making me angry. Furious even. How could a series that was honestly never more than just silly, broad parody fall so hard, so quickly? It's shocking just how aggressively unfunny and tedious a film this is. Even by the midway point of the opening scene- a brutally prolonged "Paranormal Activity" parody involving Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan trying to make a sex tape- the humor had been completely sapped and it was running on fumes.

And this downward spiral only continued with each passing scene, every awkwardly contrived pop-culture reference and all the nonsensical attempts at lampooning then-recent releases. Essentially a melding of "Mama", "Paranormal Activity", the rebooted "Planet of the Apes" series and "Black Swan" with a smattering of plot elements from other major films, the storyline is a fundamental mess, with only the most tenuous of connections to string together the constant barrage of shockingly dead on arrival humor. Yes, you could argue that the fourth film's combination of "Saw", "The Grudge" and "War of the Worlds" was messy and contrived... but at least it tried. This one can't even muster up the energy to do that.

Story goes that the production was a bit of a mess, with upwards of half the film being hastily re-written, re-shot and re-edited during last minute pick-ups barely two months before release without the participation of original (and solely credited) director Malcolm D. Lee. And it shows. Badly. Even giving it the biggest cut of slack I can, it feels like a mish-mash of several different visions and just stinks of a perplexing combination of apathy and desperation. I have a feeling you can tell which scenes were re-shot and which were in the original version as the tone and feeling will radically change from scene to scene. Some scenes feel like soulless attempts at patching together jokes whereas others feel like everyone was trying... way too hard. And as a result, it comes off disjointed and honestly just uncomfortable to watch.

Even the return of Simon Rex in a starring role after his turn as a supporting character in the previous two films (albeit as a new character here) can't save this trainwreck... and I'm one of the people who actually really enjoyed his work in those films as the lovable goofball. Then again, he's the only returning co-star of any previous films, with series leads Anna Faris and Regina Hall- the two beating hearts of the entire series- having long since jumped ship. So I don't know what I expected. If the franchise film can't even attract the attention of its own lead cast members and instead has to upgrade a smaller supporting cast member to be the new star, it's usually not the best of signs.

While it may not be quite as condescending and grating as, say... a "Seltzerberg"-level parody, there's just no salvaging any laughs here. It's a confused, contrived, unfunny and even uncomfortable experience trying to watch "Scary Movie 5", and try as I might... I couldn't do it. It's up there with "Going Overboard" and "Fat Slags: The Movie" as one of the most inherently unwatchable comedies I've ever had the displeasure of witnessing.

I really have no other choice but to give "Scary Movie 5" a tragic 1 out of 10. It's a shame.
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1/10
Wow! This is the pits!
austinpwillcut16 June 2016
All I have to say is this is the worst of the franchise and really sucks, what happened to make people want to create a POS like this? David Zucker you should be ashamed for producing this and ripping people off! The Wayans bros. need to come back! This shouldn't be making a dime, it is trash and not funny! Ashley Tisdale is a Disney has been and so is everyone else here. The jokes were written on a nap kin by a toddler, these are the worst gags ever, I am not kidding! Dimension films does not care about making good stuff and that's why they are douche bags! This is proof! Do yourself a favor and watch Airplane instead, at least it's funny and not retarded like scary movie farts(excuse me, 5!. This franchise is dead.
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1/10
I used to like parody films, but this...
akiskanaris8 September 2013
I have seen all Scary Movies, Disaster Movie, Superhero Movie, Epic Movie etc, and almost every time I was enjoying it, because of some funny scenes. If you like this type of movies - even if not, sometimes -, you can laugh out loud and have a good time either alone either with party. I am not saying that those films are the best way to spend your time with friends, but it could be a good - just good - choice. Definitely better than watching a horror movie like Scream, Paranormal Activity etc, in my opinion.

However, in the case of Scary Movie 5, things are, unfortunately, different. What I am trying to say, is that this movie is not even amusing. Scary Movie 5 is really boring. The first time I tried to see the movie, I stopped watching at 30 minutes. The second time I was determined and, honestly, I tried to see the whole movie from the beginning, but it was hard. I asked myself: "Why are you doing this to yourself? What's the purpose?", and I stopped watching again.

If you are in a good mood, and you want to see something that will help you, prefer Airplane, Naked Gun, Life of Brian or some other parodies. Maybe those movies not extremely funny, but I think they're better from the 5th Scary Movie. I don't recommend it, it's unworthy.
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1/10
Worst Scary Movie (Any Movie) of All Time!
pooyan-nabipour31 August 2013
I can't even explain how I wish to take back the 86 minutes of my life. It is a movie by which all badness can be measured.This movie can be turned into a documentary or training material for the novice filmmakers to show them what to avoid making.I pity those who watched it in cinema without the ability to fast forward it. This movie fails across the board. It fails in acting,directing, cinematography, jokes and any other conceivable cinematic component. Even the movie's behind the scenes sucks (Although much funnier than the movie itself). The only reason I didn't just throw my TV set out of the window and then shoot myself was that I didn't want even my tombstone to keep its record. Be safe and keep away!
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1/10
Unbelievably sh!t
davideo-230 August 2013
STAR RATING: ***** Saturday Night **** Friday Night *** Friday Morning ** Sunday Night * Monday Morning

I'm used to seeing spoofs where I know the films that are being parodied, but the recent crop of franchised, sanitised horror films have failed to catch my attention, so it was no help that I hardly even knew any of the films Scary Movie 5 was sending up. But know them or not, what can't be denied is what started out as an inspired, refreshing, if gross and thoroughly none PC idea got completely carried away with itself and just descended in to painfully unfunny dross. And so this fifth instalment, coming seven years after the last one, has an air of desperation about it, like some lazy studio executives thinking up something cheap and heartless for a quick buck. They've certainly failed to provide something even vaguely resembling a coherent plot, and so Scary Movie 5, lacking the Wayans Brothers touch that got it started, is left to just drag on in to the wilderness.

Barely 70 minutes long, it's hard to think how something so short could be so torturous, but as it drags along without the merest hint of a laugh as it does, it becomes even more of a painful slog to the end. I'm just glad I didn't really pay to see it. NO STARS
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1/10
A terrible instalment to the hilarious franchise
tom-ko15 May 2013
When I sat down at the pictures to watch this film, I had no idea that I was about to waste 90 minutes of my life. When I got there, my expectations were right in the middle of low and high. I left the cinema regretting I had ever gone to see it.

Scary Movie 1,2,3 and 4 all had stories that made sense to parody a range of different horror films. They all had a unique story that combined lots of different films. However Scary Movie 5 doesn't make sense, doesn't make you laugh and has terrible acting.

Like everybody else in the Cinema, i did not laugh once (Apart from laughing at how bad it was) I left the cinema unsatisfied and unwilling to ever watch it again.

Scary Movie is one of the worst films I have ever seen and definitely will never be seen by me again.
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1/10
A Nutshell Review: Scary MoVie
DICK STEEL2 May 2013
I thought after some days of hectic work I'd pick the funniest film on release this week to laugh my rear off, but unfortunately Scary Movie 5 turns in a disappointing form, with the Wayan brothers abandoning their franchise for A Haunted House instead. Despite having David Zucker in a writing capacity, this installment seems finally to have run out of steam in its long-running franchise, one which took the horror films in between them and give them the spoof treatment. And the lack of material shows despite the seven year absence, having to touch non-horror films as well given the wafer thin content upon which to draw inspiration from and to make fun of.

And you would think that their crowning glory, having the two Tinseltown folks who can't seem to get out of trouble and the wrong side of the limelight - Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan - would be a tad interesting, but it's not. Both look like they were in it for the paycheck, and couldn't care less to ham it up a little. The jokes they partook in were really bad, with absolutely nothing to laugh at or about, and if they were to think they have a second career as comedians, they just might want to think again, given their lack of comic timing.

No spoof of any horror film today would be without the Paranormal Activity style of video cameras being mounted almost everywhere, with the playback naturally being remotely hilarious, especially when people tend to miss the whole point of what they were hoping to see. Forming the basis for whatever semblance of a storyline is that of Mama, which involves Jody (Ashley Tisdale) and Dan (Simon Rex) picking up three spooky kids, thrown into a mix of Paranormal Activity, complete with a haunted house, Mama, and a housekeeper whose antics were probably the best bits in the film.

Then came some other story development that linked up Black Swan, RIse of the Planet of the Apes and Evil Dead, for the most parts, and so you have one really amalgamated piece of narrative that had tried its best to blend these diverse stories together, but as it turned out, someone forgot to include genuine comedy in the film, short of tapping into the same old bags of toilet humour just for laughs. Some worked, and most didn't. Perhaps it is time to retire the franchise, for good. Even A Haunted House, was miles better than this, without having its jokes run stale, or feeling forced.

The many cameo appearances, do nothing to save the film from its depths of woeful scenes trying their hardest to pass off as comedy. And as if sitting through the film isn't torture enough, you can elect to stay until after the end credits to extend that dreaded feeling for a scene longer.
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5/10
It's alright but what did you expect, class?
bassrourke12 April 2013
Charlie Sheen is himself and very funny in the opening scenes with Lindsay Lohan sending each other up perfectly. Forget plot, it's a Scary Movie film, just like Hot Shots, Not Another Teen Movie, Epic Movie, Superhero Movie and so on.... just a reason for a series of good and not so good parodies of pop culture films. And, in this case the book 50 Shades of Grey gets a look in with the unlikely pairing of Jerry O'Connell & Mike Tyson appearing opposite Ashley Tisdale in that sequence. My highlights were the Black Swan & ongoing Paranormal Activity rip offs, especially the pool cleaner party. Look at it this way, it's mindless fun, better with a beer in hand. It has it's moments and for those who care, stay on AFTER THE CREDITS for an extra scene. Ashley Tisdale is brilliant at the dead pan comedy required although I did miss Anna Faris a little.
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7/10
I Don't Get the Hate...
ivern-326-71163619 July 2013
This movie came out so late here in Norway! Jesus!

Anyway, Scary Movie V is the latest installment in the Scary Movie franchise. In this one, most of the cast from the previous movies are absent. That's not a good sign. In this one, we get parodies of more recent movies, like Paranormal Activity, Mama, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and ... The Shawshank Redemption? Oh well, only two of those are horror movies, but oh well...

I'm gonna cut right to the chase. This movie is not horrible. If you thought the previous ones were funny, you're gonna think this one is funny. In fact, I find Scary Movie V to be one of the funnier movies in the series. That may be because I've seen most of the movies parodied in this one, as opposed to the other ones where there's only a couple parodies per movie I actually get.

Anyways, back to the point: Everyone seems to hate this movie, and I say: What do you except? Do you really want a clever comedy with smart humor and jokes that you are gonna remember your whole life? No. The Scary Movies are stupid. Some of the stupidest movies ever, but that doesn't matter, because they know it. They don't try to make it good, they're just making another Scary Movie.

I think a lot of people have forgotten to have mindless fun with comedies. Everyone expects a comedy to be memorable these days. Yes, this movie's not the most fun you'll have in the theater, but it is a fun movie to watch with friends none-the-less.

Again, if you like the other Scary Movies, there's no reason not to watch this one: It's pretty much a modern take on the same formula that's been going on for 13 years now. It's good for what it is.
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1/10
it sucks!
zbeltran327 April 2013
Honestly I don't have much to say about it, other than it was horrible in all the senses, I thought the 4th was the last one, and it should had stay like that, cause now this one adds to the list as the worst of the whole scary movie collection. It was so kiddy in some stuff and overly done I honestly don't know what they were thinking or even if they were thinking when they did this movie, just awful. I liked more a haunted house and that is a lot to say cause it wasn't that good either but at least it made me laugh a few times, well maybe the only thing i like more than the haunted house is that they didn't go showing butts around or sexual actions every 5 seconds, I am not saying they don't, but is less than the others. I still don't recommend anyone to see it, not even in red box wait it to be on TV :)
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1/10
Never waste your time on this movie.
buktopster7 June 2013
I might go paragraphs berserk about how boring and unfunny this movie is but I will not. I am just going to tell you that even Movie 43 was funnier than that. Hell, even the American Pies (Book of Love, Band Camp, Beta House) are like a masterpieces compared to this. NEVER. WATCH. THIS.

The minimum required lines for a review are ten so I am just wasting lines now. I have nothing more to say but warn anyone who might consider even paying to see this movie at a cinema... I would however give money to ban this utter nonsense from ever seeing a DVD. Don't be fooled by the SCARY MOVIE title. It's just nothing like the old movies WHICH WERE FUN.

NEVER. EVER. WATCH. THIS.
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