Scary Movie 5 (2013)
Snoop Dogg: When we get this reward, we gonna get ourselves a boat, some bitches and a shark
Mac Miller: Why are we gonna need a shark?
Snoop Dogg: We just gon' need one.
Martin: Caesar has got to show some human intelligence at that board meeeting or...
Dan: Caesar's probably smarter than half of those board members.
Dan: I know what you're going to say, if he's so smart, why is he in the cage?
Martin: You're in the cage.
Jody Campbell: So, a demon is the worse thing you can have?
Priest: No, ma'am, an STD is the worse thing you can have.
Lindsay Lohan: I don't want to end up all over the Internet. I pride myself on keeping a low profile. My private life is private... wait, what are all these?
Charlie Sheen: Oh, just some movies I rented.
Lindsay Lohan: Me and Brandy, missionary?
Charlie Sheen: A tale of two girls who become nuns.
Lindsay Lohan: And what are all those?
Charlie Sheen: Oh, it's just your standard home security setup, basic run of the mill.
Lindsay Lohan: And why do you need security cameras pointing at your bed.
Charlie Sheen: In case a burglar tries to steal my sex tapes.
Charlie Sheen: Do me a favor. Promise me you won't drive.
Lindsay Lohan: That's sweet. You're worried about me driving.
Charlie Sheen: I'm worried about me. I'm a pedestrian.
Pierre: Alright, attention! I do not wish to repeat myself. I repeat, I do not wish to repeat myself.
Snoop Dogg: Told you that shark was gonna come in handy.
Jody Campbell: Hi, we're looking for a book that can stop evil spirits.
[to Dom after hitting Charlie]
Lindsay Lohan: You were driving.
Jody Campbell: I feel like there's something in this house.
Peter: Okay, well let's at least finish the song. Everyone hold hands... except for Eric.
Peter: I'm gonna need a little help, I have to go to the bathroom. My penis is in the corner.
Eric: This is fucked up.
Jody Campbell: Gort klaatu barada nikto, it says the curse ends with one word: Adunda.
Dom Kolb: You need to clear your subconscious, and watch what you think about. Nothing crazy.
Jody Campbell: Right. Like having your crotch burst into flames.
Charlie Sheen: I've come back from worse than this.
Lindsay Lohan: I don't wanna end up all over the internet. I pride myself in keeping a low profile. My private life is private.