Netherbeast Incorporated (2007) Poster

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4/10
Didn't care for it
slasher92118 May 2007
I had this movie described to me as a vampire comedy, so I figured I'd like it. It isn't, and I didn't.

The thing is, these creatures aren't vampires - they're a new type of creature that I hadn't heard of yet. Which is great, 'cause we need some original ideas in a world of remakes and sequels. Unfortunately, though, since these are new creatures the filmmakers spend most of the movie explaining to us who they are, their history, their likes and dislikes, how they live, how they die, etc. This goes on . . . and on . . . and on. It constantly interrupts the movie. The filmmakers try to make these scenes of exposition visually interesting but it all comes across like a Powerpoint presentation.

Exposition aside, the story itself is pretty good but I would have liked to have had things explained in a more sophisticated way.

The comedy is there in spurts but it is too uneven throughout the film. The opening scene and the film's climax are the two funniest things in the film. Throughout the rest, though, it felt like a big inside joke that I wasn't in on. Some scenes fall completely flat, some resort to toilet humor, and some make no sense.

As far as actors go, Darrel Hammond is funny doing what is essentially his Bill Clinton routine from SNL. His opening scene is hilarious, but unfortunately he takes a backseat quickly. David Foley is completely wasted in a flat role. I couldn't believe that they bothered to cast one of the funniest men alive and have him do nothing interesting. Jason Mewes pops up for a pointless buddy role halfway through the film. Judd Nelson definitely steals the show as the movie progresses and is at his best in the film's climax.

My other gripe is that the chemistry between the lead actor and the main girl felt very forced. I didn't buy their relationship for some reason.

Overall, it provides a few laughs but feels like a missed opportunity. I would suggest it on DVD only to fans of independent cinema who can get over things like horrible lighting and camerwork. This is one of those movies that will probably get a cult audience but everyone else will hate.
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1/10
disappointing
llanley9318 May 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Netherbeast is a good example of why some ideas have to be made as independent films. First, its story isn't interesting enough to appeal to general audiences. Second, the quality of the movie is pretty bad for a few reasons.

I hoped it would be better considering the cast had a couple of people I'd actually heard of in it and it was billed as a comedy. Although it tries to be slapstick-y a couple of times nothing seems to work. The jokes just aren't funny and most of the dialog is flat or very forced. Robert Wagner plays the president and adds nothing special to the role that an unknown actor could have. In Dave Foley's scenes, he seems like he has nothing to do. The non-marquee actors are awkwardly unnatural. Steve Burns does the best of anyone in the cast with what he was given, but is still not enough to make this entertaining.

The movie's concept, which is told from inside a group of exiled 'mutants', is not done in any way that is new. The main plot, which I guess is closest to a who-done-it, is pretty weak too, is short on clues and has an ending that is really telegraphed. Netherbeast does a lot of explaining to make up for a lack of real story-telling, mainly relying on the tired voice-over treatment to do it. It doesn't do a good job of making the viewer care about what is being said or why they should care.

With the writing, acting and production quality of the film itself, the whole thing seems more amateurish, like a student film, more than an indy picture. I'd recommend skipping it.
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4/10
Goofy comedy that falls flat
terrencepatrix24 October 2008
Just finished watching Netherbeast Incorporated and well...it had a few moments. It star's a pretty well-stocked cast and a moderate budget. The general plot is a re-invention of the vampire, and the movie spends about 1/3 of it's time explaining just what they are. For one thing, they're not that different than normal people...except for the fact that well...they eat normal people to survive. The Netherbeasts, as they like to be called, spend their lives in a corporate building, protected from the outside world. It's kind of like Office Space for vampires. They do office work...except they don't retire after 30 years...for some of them it goes on for several decades. Their current lifestyle is in danger from outside sources which is actually more of a sub-plot to their everyday normal office lives.

The problem I had was that the majority of the jokes just fell flat. Whereas I had a few chuckles, they were all delivered dead-pan without any enthusiasm whatsoever. I understand they're portraying the boring office life, and that these netherbeasts are in somewhat of a rut having the same routine for decades at a time, but the delivery of the humor should have been more engaging. The main story is really just kind of going on in the background while a forced romantic story is developing...and the rest of the cast just enters screen to say their lines and walk off. The acting was pretty sub-par, and the lines in general had a scripted sound...the sort where they literally just read it before the director said action.

It had it's funny moments, but from the cast involved I just kinda expected better. For all the actors and comedians I recognized this was probably their worst work that I've personally seen. I wouldn't say avoid this movie, but I wouldn't be rushing out on release day to grab it. If you're more into a small budget, mild dark-comedy, somewhat laggy feeling film...give it a go.
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10/10
Hilarious indie comedy!
KevIsKing3 April 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I caught this at the AFI Film Fest here in Dallas this past Friday. It was one of the funniest damn films I've seen. I thought it was going to have a little more horror since it's about vampires. It's not scary at all but there's a lot of laughs.

A lot of the cast and crew were there because it was the World Premiere. Jason Mewes was there. He wasn't in the movie as much as I hoped he would be. The host of Blue's Clues (Steve Burns) was the main character, and he's a really good actor. But its Darrel Hammond who steals the show as the boss who gets "vampire Alzheimer's" and throws the company (made up entirely of vampires) into chaos.

There are so many funny lines and scenes in it that I'd love to spoil for everyone, but you owe it to yourselves to see them first hand. Most of the funniest material was in very questionable taste. There's a vintage recruiting poster on the wall that says "Love Those Cripples" accompanied by a one-legged employee with a robotic arm. And watch for the scene where an engineer explains why the scrotum is impractical. Priceless.

I'm a big fan of all kinds of comedies, and this is one of the smartest, most entertaining indie comedies I've seen.
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9/10
great writing, playful cast and funny movie; vampire humor at it's best.
ampglittergirl30 April 2007
What's better than one Ronalds Brother? Two Ronalds Brothers. Oh, and don't let me fail to mention the great writer, playful cast and, for lack of a better term, FUNNY movie. There was considerable buzz surrounding NetherBeast Incorporated at the Phoenix Film Festival seemingly due to the recognizable names involved. But that simply wasn't the case at all. The buzz came from the audience who seemed to thoroughly enjoy the film. I was, personally, very excited about the Phoenix Film Festival this year because of the lineup. I got an opportunity to see a few of the films and NetherBeast Incorporated, hands down, stole the 'show'. I had heard they had a good showing at the Dallas festival so was intrigued. With witty and comical characters, such as Darrell Hammond's Turner, Steve Burns' Otto, Bob Rue's Bunyan Pritchett and Cathy Rankin's Jewel, the movie bled with refreshingly lighthearted vampirical humor. And who doesn't love a little vampirical humor??? Not only was the film original, but the players (in real life) were approachable and are genuinely deserving of the favorable recognition they seem to be getting. I know that I, along with my friends, thoroughly enjoyed the showing and look forward to experiencing this cinematic playmate again when it gets picked up for national distribution; which I have no doubt it will.

'NetherBeast Incorporated' has a fresh take on vampire lore. In the film, the vampires or NetherFolk, as they prefer to be called, are just like you or me. Except they eat human flesh. They're not monsters, nor do they kill their dinner. There are plenty of people dying these days to not have to do that. While the NetherFolk all work at Berm-Tech Industries, they also pretty much live, eat and breathe in the building. The film centers around this concept and delights in the overall design; including the original script, score, and visual satisfaction that we don't often see with first time feature length directors and producers. Right on Ronalds Brothers and thanks for the 90 minutes you've created.
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3/10
Insipid.
scrapmetal727 March 2009
Warning: Spoilers
The first scene of this movie is the best scene, and as soon as it's over the movie falls flat on its face and never gets up. Darrell Hammond and Dave Foley are the only things worth watching in this movie, and they are given almost nothing to do. At some point, the producers should have realized what was going on, thrown out the script, and let Hammond and Foley improv their own movie. Whatever they'd have come up with would have been miles better than the nerdfest that this film is.

What is the problem? Well, for one thing, this is one of those "vampire" stories where the writers think they have to cleverly re-invent the vampire mythos for the hundredth time. And in this case, their re-invention is not at all clever, and is so contrived that the movie has to be narrated, so they can endlessly explain their idea of how the vampire thing works. It takes a lot away from the flow of the film. You'd like to see the story unfold, but the idiotic protagonist has to keep interrupting with dumb little explanations, of dumb ideas, accompanied by cartoons and dumb 50's music.

If you don't like narrated movies, or sci-fi nerd movies, you won't have any patience for this kind of thing.

The story is lame and dull. Only Darrell Hammond and Dave Foley are worth watching, even though Foley is tragically underused yet again. Amy Davidson plays a temp who follows movie logic and immediately hits on the nerd protagonist, again a nerd movie trope. In reality, hot young temps don't come on to whatever shlub showed them around on their first day. She also has one of the most embarrassingly stupid scenes in recent movie memory, where she has a little monologue about how much ventriloquists turn her on. I can't respect any actress who wasn't smart enough to turn down a part like this.

Steve Burns as the protagonist is just in the way. A Simon Pegg wannabe.
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8/10
Dilbert meets Dracula
tony-watts6 May 2008
saw this last at the 7th London Sci-Fi and Fantasy Festival. It was absolutely brilliant - good laughs in all the right places and not blindingly gory. The general understated tone makes it all that more enjoyable.

The cast was also great - nobody so big it takes your eye off the ball but some familiar faces; Dave Foley from some episodes of 'Scrubs' and Jason Mewes from the 'Jay and Silent Bob' movies were both a pleasant surprise.

Thank you to the creators! I've been waiting for a good 'vampire' movie since Coppola did his take on Dracula. I will be buying this on DVD and looking forward to watching other Ronalds/Dellis projects in the future.
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9/10
Netherbeast is a winner!
Rockaura7419 April 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Most definitely the most hilarious Indie Comedy I've seen in quite awhile. The Ronalds Brothers have a very bright future ahead of them, but the future may be right now...Steve Burns, Amy Davidson, Judd Nelson, Dave Foley, Jason Mewes, Robert Wagner and Darrell Hammond all signed on for this picture. Big names and the brothers are moving on to their next project after this amazing first effort.

I got to see their Arizona premiere at the Phoenix Film Festival, and I throughly enjoyed my time with Netherbeast Inc. What a great screening. Also during the Q&A I found the Ronalds Brothers so enjoyable.

The back-story was complicated, but I thought it was some imaginative story telling with the whole power point presentation images. A group of office workers who just happen to be the walking undead, how can this not be funny? Steve Burns really does steal the show and his performance is flawless and Amy Davidson is just so darn cute in her role. They were the heart of the movie and they made the movie very, very enjoyable.

Great job Ronalds Brothers I cannot wait to see your next project, PetRock. :) Also, Netherbeast has to be picked up for distribution. I cannot wait for the rest of you people to see this very funny film.
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7/10
A business of vampires
chelano15 August 2010
I really found the story to this film interesting. You see a lot of vampire movies out there and the vampires are usually all the same or have a lot in common. This is a strange take on vampires. They have about 10% in common with vampires you usually hear about and it is a bit humorous that they all live in a business building that is one of the highest grossing businesses. You can also say they are a little like a vampire zombie mix. The cast is OK. Some better than others. You will see side characters like Robert Wagner or Jason Mewes. Darrell Hammond is one of the head vampires, but his acting was a little off. The 80s star Judd Nelson is in it and he was OK. I always liked him better in his teen days though. Dave Foley is hard to take seriously, but in this role, he kind of fit. The main role was Steve Burns and I think he did a great job. The one thing I enjoyed about this film was the dialog. It really had some catchy words that you can sit and love to listen to. Explanations of how the vampires came to be would be a good example. So overall, it was an enjoyable movie. The only really problems were some slow parts and part of the cast that really didn't seem into it.
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7/10
A good time, even with too much information
jdevriend1 April 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I saw this as part of the AFI Dallas film festival. The movie looks good - it was shot in high-definition video - and it has a zany premise. Imagine a company run entirely by vampires, and all the twists on the usual office environment that that entails. Then one of the managers loses his mind, some of the other workers turn up dead (with stakes driven through their hearts, of course), and he hires a non-vampire to replace one of them.

Genius performance from Darrell Hammond as the company's president, who underplays his entire character and starts spouting off pointless corporate buzzphrases as he gets dumber and dumber. Steve Burns also does well as a do-gooding office drone who is left to train the new hire.

I thought the movie did a little too much explaining when it came to the backstory and some of the truths and myths about vampires. The story would get on a roll, get some good laughs in, and then suddenly it would stop down for 1-2 minutes at a time to fill in some details that you didn't always need. (Although one of them was hilariously random - apparently one of our former U.S. Presidents was a vampire.) I could have used a lot more Jason Mewes, too.

Overall it's good entertainment and probably destined to have a long life in midnight-movie series.
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8/10
Funny flick!
RomoTakesTheSnap7 June 2007
Saw it at the Dallas Film Festival where the whole audience laughed their butts off. It was one of those movies I'll need to see twice to catch the jokes I missed. Lots of great visual humor, too. Jeeves the stuffed dog and the cripple poster were so tasteless but so funny. I probably didn't need to see that dude with the thong, but even that was hilarious. I loved Hammand and Burns, truly outstanding performances. Judd Nelson was good and nerdy. I agree with others who said Dave Foley was wasted in the part he played, but he was still very solid in a more dramatic part. And finally Mewes didn't just play Mewes. Amy Davidson is cute as a button as the new human employee. I didn't recognize Robert Wagner (with a beard as President Garfield) until he spoke. Then I knew.

I really dug all the backstory parts explaining how the company came to be. I read a complaint here saying that the flashbacks looked like a power point project. Dude, it was SUPPOSED to be a power point project! You have to stick around until the end of the movie to discover why.

I recommend this movie to anyone who enjoys a good laugh and can appreciate a great tasteless joke.

Eye of the jackal, baby!
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9/10
Clever Comedy Never Stoops to Camp Nor Shock to Get Laughs
elderdanaz21 September 2008
Warning: Spoilers
This fun satire gives us a look behind the closed doors of Berm-Tech Industries, a phone manufacturing corporation based in Arizona. What we find is an office of eclectic characters who are all "netherfolk", which should not be confused with "vampires". These netherfolk just want to live in peace, even though they admit they are dead and do need to eat human flesh and drink blood. No worries though because they have connections so they are always well- stocked.

The story revolves around the manager, Turner Claymore, played wonderfully deadpan by SNL alum Darrell Hammond, who comes down with a form of netherfolk Alzheimers, known as the Retardations. This tragic disease causes him to forget that he and his fellow workers are all netherfolk. The movie starts with him staking co-worker Mike, when he "discovered" he was a vampire. Later he brings in a corporate productivity analyst, played by Judd Nelson, and also hires a human named Pearl, played by Phoenix-native hottie Amy Davidson, to take over Mike's position.

The movie is told from the point of view of Otto Granberry, played by Steve Burns -- yes Steve of Blues Clues fame. I laughed when I caught a glimpse of the signature blue paw- print on his desk in one scene. I may have to watch it again to see if these were anywhere else. He and Pearl start a small office romance, which was full of awkward innocent goofiness.

The plot, like the blood, thickens when other employees go missing as does the source of their unnatural power, the Netherstone. I won't try to explain this one. Not that it might spoil the plot, and not that it reeks of a Deus Ex Machina. It is a creative plot device and I'll just sound like I have the Retardations if I try to explain it. Speaking of exposition, there is a lot of it in the movie since the netherfolk are not really vampires. I thought it was fun and familiar, like the interjections of Douglas Adams' Hitch-hiker's Guide to The Galaxy, or like a typical corporate Powerpoint presentation.

This clever comedy never stoops to camp nor shock to get laughs. There are some heavy- handed one-liners scattered throughout the film. Oh, and scrotum-engineering jokes. There's very little gore, and what is there is cartoonish in its subtlety. If I have any complaints it is that Dave Foley is underutilized as Henry, and Jason Mewes (snoogans!) is relegated almost to a cameo role as "Waxy" Dan Paraffin. The real cameo by Robert Wagner as President James Garfield is cute and ties everything up in a nice little bow.

All in all this is a refreshing look at the vampires of corporate America. It makes me even more proud to know the producers, Dean and Brian Ronalds, are local brothers who filmed the whole movie in and around Phoenix. At the Q&A that followed the showing, they announced that the DVD will be released Dec. 9, 2008, and I will definitely pick this one up.
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6/10
Some good laughs...
JoeB1317 December 2009
Warning: Spoilers
A lot of comedy movies suffer from the problem is that they are built on one joke, which they drag out for 90 minutes. This is probably Netherbeast's flaw. the plot is that a company that only employs vampires was set up in the 1880's to give them a safe place to work. So there is the juxtaposition of typical office life jokes in the vein (no pun intended) of "The Office" or "Dilbert" against the fact that they are all vampires.... ha ha.

The nerdy hero vampire is smitten with the new human hire who was brought on board by the CEO, who is suffering from Vampire Alzheimer's and has forgotten he is a vampire. Meanwhile, there is a scheme going on in the office for a few vampires to make themselves more powerful.

It's a fun little film.
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Some good potential let down by constant narration and rewriting of history/vampires.
changedname15 May 2011
Darrell Hammond is really, really good in this as a smooth talker, and much of it is KIND OF funny/quirky. It had a lot of potential, but this movie commits 3 cardinal sins.

1. They directly contradicted everything commonly known about vampires and they did it with impunity, in this smartassed matter-of-fact kind of way from a really annoying voice. It is possible to do this to an extent at the beginning to set the "rules" for the world. But continually sarcastically making fun of and contradicting the very fundamentals of vampire folklore is NOT ON. If common vampire rules are so "wrong" then maybe they should quit thinking of themselves as "vampires" to begin with, it's not what they call themselves.

2. What the hell is with this using Alexander Graham Bell? My perception of Bell will forever be tainted by this nonsense. Bell did not agree to his name and image being used like this, I think it's so unfair to do this to a deceased person. I rarely even like watching fictional depictions of real people like for instance Darwin, because I cannot trust the depiction of it, but this is just ridiculous.

3. They should have done all the narration and backstory at the start, not continually narrated throughout the whole thing and continually butchering your perception of vampires by pretending these were anything like vampires.
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6/10
I never though I'd be giving my heart to another man.
lastliberal20 January 2009
A bloodsucking corporation is nothing new, but a corporation full of blood suckers is interesting and really quite funny.

There were really not outstanding performances in this film, although Amy Davidson was cute as the human hire in the corporation. Most of the cast contributed to the humor, so it was a group effort.

The PowerPoint's throughout were really funny and added to the comedic atmosphere of the film.

The corporation is dealing with a CEO with Alzheimer's, while a hostile takeover is happening.

It was definitely a different approach to the vampire story.
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7/10
A good film but it does not result completely satisfactory
Argemaluco26 January 2009
The best way to describe Netherbeast Incorporated is like this : The Office with vampires.It results to be an unusual but entertaining combination although the potential could have been exploited better.The idea behind this movie is pretty ingenious and,thanks to the very good cast there are many sympathetic and funny scenes.Plus,this movie makes some incisive commentaries on the corporative mentality of our days,with the vampires subtext working as a metaphor of many situations from an office.But,while the screenplay offers many positive elements,it also shows many negative elements.The story does not always flow naturally and it sometimes feels diffuse.The mythology the screenplay uses to explain the origins and methods from the vampires results arbitrary and unnecessarily complex.It seems screenwriter Bruce Dellis had the necessity of inventing new rules and dug conditions with the only function of adding tension and drama to a formula which would have worked better with a simpler focus.I had previously mentioned the cast is very good.Veteran comedians Darrell Hammond (known for his extraordinary parody of Bill Clinton in Saturday Night Live) and Dave Foley (famous for his participation on the excellent sitcom Newsradio) bring excellent performances in this movie,but I think the members from the cast who mostly stand out are Steve Burns and Amy Davidson.There are also some famous actors in this movie (Robert Wagner,Judd Nelson and Jason Mewes) but their performances are short on time as well as on enthusiasm.They just did not seem to be too interested on their characters.I liked Neatherbeast Incorporated and it kept me entertained.But its potential could have gone more far away and the fails from the screenplay I mentioned avoid me to stay completely satisfied with this movie.Still,this film deserves a recommendation.
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9/10
Reel Thoughts: Work Sucks
EchoManNV21 September 2008
Warning: Spoilers
And you thought your job bites, sucks and drains the life out of you?! The folks at Berm- Tech Industries, a shadowy telecom company located in downtown Phoenix, wouldn't have it any other way. Unfortunately, change is a-comin', heralded by company president Turner Claymore (SNL's Darrell Hammond) plunging a wooden stake into company suck-up Mike. Mild-mannered Otto Granberry (Steve Burns from Blue's Clues) is called into the big guy's office and asked to handle things, but he's understandably distracted by Mike's lifeless body. "Mike was a vampire," Claymore explains, leading to one of the most unusual, funky and offbeat comedies you'll see all year.

The opening scene is almost an exact recreation of Dean and Brian Ronalds' hilarious short film, The Netherbeast of Berm-Tech Industries, Inc., which skewers corporate management and bureaucracy. It turns out that the folks at Berm-Tech are a tight-knit "family" with a bloody secret that's about to be exposed. Hammond and Burns join Dave Foley (Kids in the Hall), Judd Nelson (The Breakfast Club), Jason Mewes (Clerks), Amy Davidson (8 Simple Rules) and Robert Wagner (Hart to Hart) as President Garfield in the daft, deftly written and produced comedy. Local luminaries like Robyn Allen and Laura Durant also play featured roles, but Bruce Dellis's script and the Ronalds Brothers' twisted sense of humor are the real stars of the film. Funny riffs abound, as does bloody cartoon gore, but Netherbeast Incorporated steers clear of the X-rated humor and language that's such a routine part of Judd Apatow's comedies.

It's not a seamless film, and the ending does get a little too convoluted for its own good, but Netherbeast Incorporated is a hundred times smarter and funnier than any of the Epic- Superhero-Disaster-Meet the Spartans movies. Any film that has a character exclaim: "For the love of Laura Keene!" (The actress/manager who invited Lincoln to Ford's Theatre) definitely has my heart!
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