A group of assorted Americans survive a plane crash in a Caribbean island, and discover it is infested with crawling snakes and other venomous beasts. Even worse, terrorists are preparing a full out war on America with a biological weapon.
One morning, a young man wakes to find that a small, disgusting creature has attached itself to the base of his brain stem. The creature gives him a euphoric state of happiness but demands human victims in return.
Ensemble drama about conversations overheard in a bistro: two chess players see unfolding dramas, a couple on an uncomfortable blind date, a crumbling marriage, and film-noir fans that think they're witnessing a real-life murder.
A homeless war-veteran with a chequered past must rely on a side of himself once thought buried when he and his companions are targeted by three vicious psychopaths wearing Santa suits on Christmas Day.
Stuart W. Bedford
After a worldwide nuclear war, where 68% of the male population was wiped out and virile men becoming a rarity, Sam Hell, a scavenger and a highly virile man, is assigned to help rescue a group of fertile women kidnapped by humanoid frogs.
After Archie shoves the car jacker into the trunk, the would-be thief shoots a hole in the lid through which his blood squirts as he is made into 'fuel'. The hole, and the rag Archie uses to block it, are no longer visible when Archie throws the crippled veteran into the trunk, but reappear later in the film when he pulls out the rag so that the car will run out of 'gas'. See more »
Let's cut straight to the chase. You've invented what we've been calling in official documents, a blood car. You beat us when we didn't play fair, so now we've all agreed to act civil. Civility. Civilian. The civil war? They all started the same way, Archie. The Civil war was started over people using other people - black people-as servants. Not really like humans, but like animals, to pull carts and plant vegetables. And you know all about vegetables, don't you? It was a good idea, but it ...
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Eco-friendly porn-trash to go. Large car? Just supersize!
Do you worry about the price of fuel? If the price continues to rise, only the richest dudes will drive cars. Cars will regain their rightful place as 'babe' wagons. In this eco-friendly age where wheatgrass is the new cool, clean-cut kindergarten nerd Archie hangs up his teacher hat and goes home to work on a new invention a car powered by the green slime itself.
Archie stops for supplies at the vegan store where a prim and proper bespectacled girl sells him wheatgrass while sketching artistic pornography ("your cum tastes like tofu") under the counter. Across the yard at the meat stall is a more predatory chick whose intentions are more openly high octane kinky sex. As they compete for his affection, Archie accidentally discovers that blood added to wheatgrass makes the engine work a treat. He even dispenses with the wheatgrass. Archie is a vegan, so killing small animals causes him great emotional anguish. Even more when they won't stay still. But having bagged a few quadrupeds there is even more anguish when he realise the car wants human blood or nothing.
Blood Car is a crisply-made, ultra low-budget movie that has been compared to the Troma films or those of Russ Meyer and John Waters. Low-tech special effects, bouncing bosoms, and hilariously tongue-in-cheek. For the first hour, I was spellbound by its audacity, the thumbing at convention, and never knowing where it was going next. The sight of Archie on a bike, wielding an axe and chasing two FBI men, reminded me of the luckless cyclist hero-nerd from Peter Jackson's early movie, Braindead. But then it struck me. Blood Car was made by talented people who knew their trash movies. And good lighting. And good cinematography. But it was also a mish-mash of many styles. It lacks consistency. Acting is (at best) caricature. And for all the gore, sex and violence it still lacks bite. Political satire here entertains rather than protests. Blood Car's limits are tamely within those defined by the Meyer and Waters it emulates. It had no real axe to grind against Hollywood as does Troma. It reeks of clever students showing off.
But although I was ultimately disappointed, I was still entertained for over an hour. It was the low-brainer I needed after an overly-serious and slightly soul-destroying morning. Like the girl who flashes her tits at Archie to get a lift, and is then lured into the boot to see the puppies, I had been happily hooked. It would sound mean to say I'd been had. Even if it's true. And, like me, I bet you want to look in the boot . . .
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