CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (TV Series)
Greg Sanders: "You'd think she'd know better than to wear white on the bride's big day." A dame was dead, but enough about her. The air was hot and heavy with wrong, making me thirsty, thirsty for a tall drink of water. That's when I saw her: a flower, but not the kind you pin on a lapel. She was long-stemmed.
Sara Sidle: All right, Raymond Chandler, we get it.
Greg Sanders: Those weren't just Miracle bras. They were creating four Wonders of the World.
Jill Shoemaker: For the past six months she made my life Hell, and so I told anyone who would listen that she should die a fiery death. So now everyone's going to think that I killed her.
Gil Grissom: Would you like to be more specific?
Jill Shoemaker: Okay, well, when we got engaged, she ran into the backyard and she screamed "Why, God, why me?" Okay, she wore white today! She, she, she invited Adam's very, very attractive, very, um, single ex-girlfriends. When she found out I had registered for sporting goods, she went behind my back and she changed the registry to housewares saying I had better learn how to cook! Okay, I'm a vegetarian, and she demanded roast beef! Um, oh and then there's the toast... the toast!
Gil Grissom: Are you trying to make me think that you didn't kill her?
Sara Sidle: I'm not anti-wedding. I'm just anti-stupid.
Sara Sidle: Why do we always eat here?
Greg Sanders: Open 24 hours.
Sara Sidle: Everything in Vegas is open 24 hours.
Greg Sanders: It's tradition
Nick Stokes: [walks in from car] Mmmm. Smells like bacon. Slide over.
Nick Stokes: That scene took forever. We were there, like what, 9 hours.
Sara Sidle: 11.
Greg Sanders: Dead laywer and 200 eyewitnesses? That's gonna take a while.
Nick Stokes: [nods] Why do we always eat here?
Greg Sanders: [smiling] It's tradition.
Sara Sidle: Ah, tradition. Like becoming a property exchange between your father and your husband.
Nick Stokes: "You'd think she'd know better than to wear white on the bride's big day." The perfume of American beauties was everywhere, though a rose by any other name would have smelled just as sweet with that much love in the air.
Frank Rosetti: You want to see a crime scene? I'll show you a crime scene. C'mere, c'mere, look at this, huh?
[shows a smashed wedding cake]
Frank Rosetti: What this woman had against the color peach, I've never seen anything like it. "If you think you're serving that flesh-colored abomination and I'm paying for it, you can think again!" Boom! I'm a 42-year-old paisan; she scared me. I wouldn't be surprised if her pantyhose rebelled against her, tied themselves to the car, the dame was a pill. I swear to God, she may have taken two or three years off my own life. Weddings are a blood, sweat and tears marathon, my friend. I'm on a tight schedule. 12 noon: I got first intro of the couple. 12:30: salad course. 12:45: first dance. 1 o'clock: chair dance, chicken dance, broom dance - I don't care, I'm equal-opportunity. 1:30: main course. 2:15: first toast, groom's side. If the best man shuts his mouth, at 2:16 we have the first toast of the bride's side. 3 o'clock: we cut the cake. 3:30: bouquet toss.
Gil Grissom: That's a tight schedule. She would have barely had time to go to the bathroom.
Frank Rosetti: I don't sell bridal diapers for nothing.
Greg Sanders: He was kidding about the diapers, right?
Valerie Whitehall: Sweetheart, I've had so many martinis I'm both shaken and stirred.
Greg Sanders: [opening bridal suit door] So I went behind the pink curtain where the girls go to get glossy.
[blows on blush brush]
Greg Sanders: A little shine here, a little poof there, a little...
[picks up spandex bra cup]
Greg Sanders: Well, I don't exactly know what that was, but I like the feel.
Nick Stokes: Come for the wedding, stay for the funeral.
Sara Sidle: I remember David saying "You'd think she'd know better than to wear white on the bride's big day." So there we were at Cupid's Kiss, a nuptual Neverland where the cheese factor was dangerously high and the flowers were obviously fake. Can the love be real when the flowers aren't?
Hodges: You know, you and me, we're not the marrying kind. The intricacies of our nature can never be understood by just one woman.
Gil Grissom: Would you close the door, please?
[Hodges does so]
Gil Grissom: From the other side.
Gil Grissom: "You'd think she'd know better than to wear white on the bride's big day." Spring is but a song/Where love and laughter are not wrong/The blossoms of desire do belong/And Harmonia axyridus fly along.
Greg Sanders: That when I saw her: a flower, and not the kind you pin on a lapel. She was long-stemmed.
Sara Sidle: I need your hands.
Nick Stokes: I thought you'd never ask.
David Phillips: You'd think she'd know better than to wear white on the bride's big day.
Lacey: Cruella made me wear underwear today. Nobody makes me wear underwear.
Valerie Whitehall: [pulling a buccal swab from Greg's kit] I'll do you if you do me.
Sara Sidle: They did not!
Greg Sanders: We could compare them to the buccal swabs that we collected... if we still had them
Sara Sidle: Well, we just have to recollect them.
Greg Sanders: All 200 of them?
Sara Sidle: eah. And since we can't leave... someone else is... gonna have... to recollect them.
Nick Stokes: This is crap! I've been waiting on IAB for 14 hours. I'm tired, and I kinda smell. And I don't have a friggin' car
Greg Sanders: [to Nick Stokes] Dude, where's your car?