- Special Agent Ziva David: I don't want him to think I'm sleazy.
- Agent Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo: The term is 'easy'.
- Special Agent Ziva David: What's the difference?
- Agent Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo: Mostly the make-up.
- [a group of new agents have been assigned to observe an autopsy]
- Officer Ziva David: We had this same test at Mossad. If you fail, they terminate you.
- Agent Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo: How do you fail an autopsy?
- [one of the junior agents vomits]
- Officer Ziva David: By doing that. What happens if you fail here?
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [entering] Well, it depends, Officer David. Some of them go on to become our director.
- Special Agent Ziva David: [as they're about to search for a suspect] Gibbs, I d be better suited if I actually went
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: We're taking him alive! Let's roll!
- [Gibbs, DiNozzo and McGee leave]
- Park Ranger Bobby Hendricks: I hate it when men try to protect you because you're female.
- Special Agent Ziva David: Oh, he's not trying to protect *me*. He's afraid I'll kill Rowan before he tells us where the girl is.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [Gibbs hands McGee a digital camera] Here, McGee, take the, uh, film... dooey-whacker out of there and put it up there on the plasma.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Well Boss, actually this is a digital camera. They use a memory card now...
- [off Gibbs's look]
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: I'll put in the dooey-whacker.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Gonna have to postpone the class, Doctor. We've got a body in Shenandoah National Park.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Well, perhaps you'd care to share the specifics with the class. The three leading causes of death in our national parks are: heart attacks, hiking accidents, and prolonged exposure to the elements.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Not this time. A sailor was eaten... by a bear.
- Officer Ziva David: Do you mind if I catch a bat nap?
- Park Ranger Bobby Hendricks: No. Just hang from the rafters.
- Abby Sciuto: I was just about to call Tony and McGee. I think they were having sex.
- Officer Ziva David: Tony and McGee?
- Special Agent Ziva David: Great! He'll be like a pin in a haystack!
- Agent Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo: "Needle in a haystack."
- Special Agent Ziva David: Well, aren't pins just as hard to find?
- Agent Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo: No.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: No.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [amazed, after Gibbs stopped Landis from running away by shooting him in the butt with a rifle] Boss didn't...
- Agent Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo: [also amazed] Nah. He wouldn't do a thing like that...
- Park Ranger Bobby Hendricks: Bears are omnivores. They'll basically eat anything. It's not unusual to find digested berries, deer sinew, even bones in a single scat specimen. So Jerry, tell us, what's this one been eatin'?
- Jerry: [holds up military dogtags] I think maybe people.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: According to Petty Officer Riley's C.O., he's been on leave for the last six days.
- Agent Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo: Nice vacation. A little camping, knife to the heart, a little trip inside a bear's digestive tract.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Yeah, I'd fire my travel agent.
- Special Agent Ziva David: The night Riley was murdered, Edom was at his daughter's dance recital in Manassas Virginia. Multiple witnesses.
- Agent Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo: Unbelievable.
- Special Agent Ziva David: I agree. I thought for sure this was our man.
- Agent Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo: No, I mean this guy actually reproduced?