The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

A Vigilante Ripped My Sports Coat (1964)

Ann Morgan Guilbert: Millie Helper

Quotes 

• Millie Helper : I am goin' to that dinner party tonight whether YOU go or NOT. I'm gonna wear my new dress, and my new shoes, and - I'll tell ya somethin' else, Dr. Helper - I'm gonna have fun.

  Jerry Helper : No you're not, 'cause I'm goin' with you.

• Jerry Helper : Listen, uh, where are your mother and father?

  Ritchie Petrie : They went out.

  Jerry Helper : Out? Where?

  Ritchie Petrie : I don't know. They just left.

  Jerry Helper : Huh, you see that?

  Millie Helper : Come on. Don't jump to conclusions. Ritchie, are they coming back?

  Ritchie Petrie : Oh, sure.

  Millie Helper : Ya see?

  Jerry Helper : Well, how do you know they're coming back?

  Ritchie Petrie : They have to. They live here.

• Laura Petrie : [angrily]  I think you two ought to know something. Rob was against sending that invitation to you but I insisted, and now I'm sorry I sent it.

  Millie Helper : You're sorry ya sent it?

  Laura Petrie : You don't know how sorry I am. I think it's one of the stupidest things I've ever done.

  Jerry Helper : Then you, uh... you DO think it was a stupid thing?

  Laura Petrie : [near tears]  Well, let's just say this, Jerry - I will never send you another one like it, and you can bet on that.

  Jerry Helper : You MEAN that?

  Rob Petrie : [through grit teeth]  Oh-h-h, you BET she means it.

  Jerry Helper : [greatly relieved]  Well, okay.

  Rob Petrie : Okay, what?

  Jerry Helper : We accept your apology.

  Laura Petrie : You accept our...?

  Millie Helper : Yes, and... we... forgive you.

  Rob Petrie : You forgive US?

  Millie Helper : [happily]  You bet we do.

  Jerry Helper : Uh, well, uh, we were both being very stubborn, and I'm happy to see that you took a first step to clear the air.

  Rob Petrie : [thoroughly perplexed]  Now wait a minute. Wait just a minute, Jerry. There's a misunderstanding here...

  Laura Petrie : [cautiously]  There certainly is, darling, and I think it's the kind of misunderstanding we should try very hard NOT to clear up for a little while.

• Jerry Helper : Millie... Millie, will you tell him to get outta here before I do something I'll be sorry for.

  Millie Helper : Rob will you get outta here before Jerry does something he'll be sorry for.

• Millie Helper : Jerry, tell her to get outta here before I do something I'll be sorry for.

  Jerry Helper : Laura, I think you better get outta here.