On Joey's first birthday, Mike comes home with his clothes torn up and tells Gloria that, while waiting for the subway, he slipped off the platform and fell on the tracks just as the car was coming. The good news is that he was rescued by two men, the bad news is that they picked his pocket. He explains that the experience has made him aware that they both could be taken away from this world at any second and that Joey would have no one to take care of him. They discuss possible candidates to take care of him and immediately exclude Archie and Edith because Mike doesn't want Joey to grow up learning all of his grandfather's unhealthy stereotypes. When Archie and Edith come over for the party, the subject comes up and, during the argument, so does the information that Mike doesn't want Joey to be raised by Archie. Deeply hurt, they leave, vowing never to return again. At a loss for what to do, Gloria comes up with an insane proposal: They will agree not to die. Archie and Edith ... Written by
Jerry Roberts <email@example.com>
Did You Know?
Mike has every right to have the conversation with Gloria of who will raise Joey if anything ever happened to them, because Mike's parents were killed in a car accident when he was a kid. See more
Wait 'til you hear this, Edith. They decided not to will Joey to anyone, and you know why? 'Cause they decided they ain't never gonna die.
Happy Birthday to You
Written by Mildred J. Hill
and Patty S. Hill
Sung by Sally Struthers See more