Mr. Burns: I can't be responsible for what my goons are ordered to do.
Lisa: Elegy for Geezer Rock: Postcard image, thing to see / to think of Springfield is to think of thee. / What thoughts be-pass a'hind thy mien? / Why sky art blue? Why trees art green? / And what, pray tell, did thine eyes see? / Perchance, old friend, they gazed at me. / Brought low by nature's oafish hand / thy crush-ed our reviewing stand. / And twixt thy stones glimpsed I the truth. / All things must pass. Thy face, my youth.
Lisa: [auditioning people for her paper] What kind of journalism experience do you have?
Nelson: I dunno. Making nerds cry?
Lisa: Perfect! You can be our TV critic.
Mr. Burns: [Despite Burns' attempt to bribe Lisa with cute little ponies, she refuses to stop printing her newspaper] Very well, you had your chance. I'm going to shred you like a Christmas card. Now *get out!*
Lisa: [angrily] I can't. My mom's not picking me up for an hour.
Mr. Burns: [leaning nervously on his desk, Burns is at a loss for words] Well, what do you think of today's popular music scene?
Lisa: I think it distracts people from more important social issues.
Mr. Burns: My God, are you always "on"?
Homer Simpson: Marge, I'm pulling an all-nighter for my little girl. Put on a pot of coffee, drink it and star making burgers.