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"The Simpsons" Bart Gets Hit by a Car (TV Episode 1991) Poster

Quotes

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Lawyer: Your Honor, my client has instructed me to remind the court how rich and important he is, and that he is not like other men.

Mr. Burns: I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!

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Lisa Simpson: Excuse me, Mr. Hutz. Are you a shyster?

Lionel Hutz: How does a nice little girl like you know a big word like that?

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Lenny Leonard: Hey, Simpson, I heard Mr. Burns crushed your boy.

Homer: Yeah. If I wasn't so spineless, I'd march into Mr. Burns' office right now and...

Waylon Smithers: SIMPSON!

Homer: Aah!

[coughing]

Waylon Smithers: Mr. Burns wants you to march into his office right now!

Homer: Uh-oh!

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[the lawyer asks Marge's opinion of Dr. Riviera's competence]

Marge: I'm sorry, but my mother said, if you can't say anything nice about someone, you shouldn't say anything at all.

Homer: [whispering] Will that hold up in court?

Lionel Hutz: No, I've tried it.

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Waylon Smithers: Defenseless child at three o'clock!

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Bart Simpson: Ah, say, is there anything I can do to avoid coming back here?

[as Bart floats back to Earth]

Satan: Oh, sure, yeah, but, ah, eeeh - you wouldn't like it.

Bart Simpson: Oh, okay. See you later then.

Satan: Good-bye, Bart! Remember: Lie, cheat, steal, and listen to heavy metal music!

Bart Simpson: Yes, sir!

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Dr. Nick Riviera: Your son is a very sick boy. Just look at the X-Ray. You see that dark spot there?

[putting a finger on a spot outside Bart's neck]

Dr. Nick Riviera: Whip lash.

Homer: Whip lash? Oh no.

[worried]

Dr. Nick Riviera: And this smudge here that looks like my finger print - no, that's trauma.

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Bart Simpson: I'm Bart Simpson - who the hell are you?

Satan: Ah, please allow me to introduce myself: I'm the Devil! Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh. And you've earned an eternal life of damnation for your evil deeds, Bart. Spitting off the escolator just clinched it.

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Heavenly Voice: Please hold on to the handrail. Do not spit over the side.

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Satan: Okay, let's just pull up your file here.

[mumbles while moving a computer mouse]

Satan: Ah. Seems to be a mistake. According to this you're not due here until the next time the Yankees win the penant; that's nearly a century from now. Ha, ha, ha - boy is my face red.

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Lionel Hutz: [giving Bart his business card] Here's my card. It turns into a sponge when you put it in water.

Homer: Ooh, classy!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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