Lawyer: Your Honor, my client has instructed me to remind the court how rich and important he is, and that he is not like other men.
Mr. Burns: I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!
Lisa Simpson: Excuse me, Mr. Hutz. Are you a shyster?
Lionel Hutz: How does a nice little girl like you know a big word like that?
Lenny Leonard: Hey, Simpson, I heard Mr. Burns crushed your boy.
Homer: Yeah. If I wasn't so spineless, I'd march into Mr. Burns' office right now and...
Waylon Smithers: SIMPSON!
Waylon Smithers: Mr. Burns wants you to march into his office right now!
[the lawyer asks Marge's opinion of Dr. Riviera's competence]
Marge: I'm sorry, but my mother said, if you can't say anything nice about someone, you shouldn't say anything at all.
Homer: [whispering] Will that hold up in court?
Lionel Hutz: No, I've tried it.
Bart Simpson: Ah, say, is there anything I can do to avoid coming back here?
[as Bart floats back to Earth]
Satan: Oh, sure, yeah, but, ah, eeeh - you wouldn't like it.
Bart Simpson: Oh, okay. See you later then.
Satan: Good-bye, Bart! Remember: Lie, cheat, steal, and listen to heavy metal music!
Bart Simpson: Yes, sir!
Dr. Nick Riviera: Your son is a very sick boy. Just look at the X-Ray. You see that dark spot there?
[putting a finger on a spot outside Bart's neck]
Dr. Nick Riviera: Whip lash.
Homer: Whip lash? Oh no.
Dr. Nick Riviera: And this smudge here that looks like my finger print - no, that's trauma.
Bart Simpson: I'm Bart Simpson - who the hell are you?
Satan: Ah, please allow me to introduce myself: I'm the Devil! Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh. And you've earned an eternal life of damnation for your evil deeds, Bart. Spitting off the escolator just clinched it.
Heavenly Voice: Please hold on to the handrail. Do not spit over the side.
Satan: Okay, let's just pull up your file here.
[mumbles while moving a computer mouse]
Satan: Ah. Seems to be a mistake. According to this you're not due here until the next time the Yankees win the penant; that's nearly a century from now. Ha, ha, ha - boy is my face red.