Bart: Kwyjibo: K-W-Y-J-I-B-O. Twenty-two points. Plus, triple-word score, plus fifty points for using all my letters... Game's over, I'm outta here.
Homer: Wait a minute, you little cheater. You're not going anywhere 'til you tell me what a Kwyjibo is.
Bart: Kwyjibo. Uh, a big dumb, balding North American ape. With no chin.
Marge: And a short temper.
Homer: I'll show you a big dumb balding ape!
Bart: Uh oh, Kwyjibo on the loose!
Homer: What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
[after Bart turned himself green in a science accident]
Homer: Don't be discouraged, son. I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb.
Edna Krabappel: These tests will have no effect on your grades. They merely determine your future social status and financial success.
[She looks at Bart]
Edna Krabappel: If any.
Bart: [at an opera - Bart & Homer are bored] "It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings."
Homer: That one fat enough for ya?
Homer: You can't stay in there forever!
Bart: I can try!
Homer: March your butt out here right now!
Bart: No way, man!
Homer: [sweet] Son, if you don't come out, I can't hug you and kiss you, and make you feel all better.
Bart: You think I'm dumb enough to fall for that? I'm insulted!
Homer: Sorry, son. Your mom got us tickets to a snooty movie directed by some Swedish meatball.
Lisa Simpson: Yeah mom, hurry up!
Marge: Alright, hmm how about, he? Two points. Your turn dear.
Homer: Hmmm, how could anyone make a word out of these lousy letters?
[camera pans down to show the word oxidize]
Homer: Oh wait, here's a good one, do.
Lisa Simpson: [Lisa places an I on top of the D in do] Id triple word score!
Homer: Hey, no abbreviations.
Lisa Simpson: Not I.D. dad id! It's a word!
Bart: As in this game is stupid.
Homer: Hey, shut up boy.
Lisa Simpson: Yeah Bart. You're supposed to be developing verbal abilities for your big aptitude test tomorrow.
Marge: We could look this id thing up in the dictionary.
Homer: We've got one?
Marge: I think it's under the short leg of the couch.
[Homer lifts up couch and gives the dictionary to Lisa]
Lisa Simpson: Id, along with the ego and the superego one of three components of the psyche.
Homer: Get out of here!
Bart: My turn. Kwyjibo. K-W-Y-J-I-B-O. 22 points, plus triple word score, plus 50 points for using all my letters! Game's over I'm outta here.
Homer: Frosty Krusty Flakes are what got him where he is today. It could be one of these chemicals here that makes him so smart. Lisa, maybe you should try some of these.
Homer: I'm just saying, why not have two geniuses in the family? Sort of a spare in case Bart's brain blows up.
Ms. Mellon: Well don't you get it Bart? Derivative DY equals 3R squared, DR over three or R squared, DR or RDRR.
[Ms. Melon does a jig dance]
Ms. Mellon: Hardy-har-har. Get it?
Principal Seymour Skinner: You there, no chewing gum on school grounds! In the trash can with it.
Martin Prince: Principal Skinner, one of my fellow children is vandalizing school property.
Principal Seymour Skinner: Oh, where?
Martin Prince: Over there sir. See!
Milhouse van Houten: Look out Bart! Here comes Skinner!
Ms. Melon: Bart, what other paradoxes affect our lives?
Bart: Well, you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't.