Gwendolyn 'Gwen' Killerby: Zack, it's time that you and Rita made this official.
Zack Greenburg: Made what official?
Gwendolyn 'Gwen' Killerby: Your item-ness. After one month of dating, you have to make the declaration.
Zack Greenburg: The declaration of...
Gwendolyn 'Gwen' Killerby: After four weeks of dating, the rules state that you have to take yourself off the dating market. So, say someone asks you out. The correct response would now be, 'No, sorry, but Rita and I are an item.'
Zack Greenburg: Why?
Gwendolyn 'Gwen' Killerby: It's just the rules.
Zack Greenburg: Says who?
Gwendolyn 'Gwen' Killerby: At four weeks of dating, you make the declaration. After two months, dinner with the parents. Three months, the boy has to give up at least one of his best friends as a show of maturity.
Zack Greenburg: You're just making this up.
Gwendolyn 'Gwen' Killerby: [sigh] Zack, the more you struggle, the worse it gets.