Security Guard : Hang On, What's that?
Vyvyan : It's my mascot.
Security Guard : A pig?
Vyvyan : No!
Security Guard : It is.
Vyvyan : It's not, it's a ferret. A severely deformed ferret, I'll grant you that. So severely deformed in fact that it looks a little bit like a pig.
Security Guard : Looks exactly like a pig.
Vyvyan : Yes, well, it certainly has been remarked upon. In fact, just as John Hurt is known as the Elephant Man, Bacon Sandwich here is known as the Pig Ferret.
Security Guard : Bacon Sandwich? Funny name for a ferret, isn't it?
Vyvyan : Ha ha! And that's where I had you fooled. Because it's not a ferret, it's a pig.